Your Thoughts

[csfong007]

I'm 49 and my boyfriend is 51. We've been together about 10 months. Our relationship is relatively good but as far as living together or marriage, I think, because both of us have been there and done that a couple of times it's not something we're really talking about.

 

Two things have come up that make me question whether or not my BF is really looking out for my interest or is wanting to get rid of me.

 

A couple of months ago I halfway remarked about looking for another job at another university several hundred miles away because the opportunities would be better. Instead of trying to talk me out of it, he was supportive and encouraging and thought perhaps I'd want to consider a transfer because of the better opportunities.

 

Last night we were talking about housing. I own a condo. My dream has always been to own a small home but prices here are prohibitive. He suggested I look in a nearby small town because prices are more affordable. This town is about a half hour away.

 

My BF is very solution oriented and if ever I have a concern, issue, or problem, he is always trying to help me find an answer. I honestly think he means well and that he's only trying to help. But, I'm very insecure, tend to think and dwell on the worst, so thoughts go in my mind wondering if he's trying to get rid of me.

 

I'm looking for honest opinions from those who can see this more objectively than I can. Please let me know. I appreciate your help.

 

C

[TheSwordfish]

Well, don't worry. this is a classical male like reaction. I studied psychology for a while and when a woman talks about things like this she just wants to hear the man telling her he understands her feelings and that he would have a hard time to decide on these things as well.

 

But men will always look for a solution. He wont go into the message on a female level (I want you to understand me and tell me my feelings are normal) but just into the actual message. He will give you advice and thats not what you want.