Jaytee Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Hi folks, I've been reading this forum for a while now and feel the need to make a post to help me with how I'm currently feeling. My ex broke up with me in October after 4 and a bit years and its definitley the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I have tried to do everything possible to help me on the way to feeling better - starting new hobbies, going out with friends, even trying to date a bit. This week though I'm finding myself drawn back to the memories of her and that hopeful feeling that I am trying to get rid of that makes me want to believe that one day maybe we will get back together. My ex goes to uni about 6 hours away from me, we had been doing the LDR thing for 1 and a half years before she ended things. She gave me the "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore" speech and between us we agreed to try and stay friends. I kept contact to a minimum and this helped me regain a little bit of composure, I then agreed to meet up with her over xmas when she was back in town. The first meeting although polite seemed very forced and fake to me, I think both of us trying to put on brave faces and say how well we are both doing. I decided if thats how the friendship was going to be that I didn't want it, however when I met up the second time and explained this we got on exactly as we used to. I told her then that I couldn't be friends until I was ready and that I would contact her before I go travelling (just to let her know that I'm not around). In some ways I can see how the break-up has benefitted me, I got to take a long hard look at myself and realise what mistakes I had made. I became too focused on her and her happiness and put it infront of my own, I am now doing things to make me happy (as best as I can be at the moment) and feel better for it. I'm not sure if theres really a question to my post, more of a vent.... but If there was answers I would like to get it would be is she thinking of me? Is she finding it as hard not to call me as I her? and is there any hope for us ever to be together again? I guess in my head I know the answers already but the heart is so stubborn it won't accept it! Well... it feels a bit better for typing it out, and for everyone else going through a heart-break, my thoughts are with you... it really is horrible
coasting Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I would have to say you are doing everything I would do in your situation! I am currently in the heartbreak stage myself after a live in three year situation. My story is actually printed in " the other man/woman" section here on LS.org. It is titled I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, not even them. i truly hope that one day my ex and I can talk to one another, but at this point there just is no way. I also pray everyday that he will come back to me,but then on the other hand I wonder if he did come back, how would I know the same thing was not going to happen all over again. So in reality I think you keep on doing as you have been doing adn take one step at a time, as we will have our set back days!
Chocolatellama Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Reading this is like reading exactly what i've been thinking for the past 2 weeks. My ex even gave me the " I love you, but i'm not in love with you" Speech. Though my relationship was quite a bit shorter than yours i can understand where you're coming from. This is probably alot harder for you than it is for me. I really hope that you can feel better soon!
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