srsvfx Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Well if you are interested in the long story read my other post... basically while i was on a short break with my gf (a stupid thing to do, my idea..), she hooked up with my roommate. That was about 6 months ago and I still get angry at her and him (although i never see him anymore, i moved in with someone else), so since i never see him, i take i'll my anger out on her. Sometimes when I think about what happend I get in a really bad mood and become nasty to her (verbally) and I always feel bad about it afterwards. I dont want to hurt our relationship anymore but I am finding it so hard to get over what happend. I feel like I need to get revenge or something (towards him), but I don't want to break the law. How can I reach a point where I can forgive my gf for being so stupid and stop scolding her all the time? thanks
riobikini Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 srsvfx, You will probably have those angry feelings towards both of them for a long time, but you should be moving on with your own life, -not spending all your time focused on people who 'did you wrong'. That's just a bitter can of worms that gets smellier and smellier the longer you hold the can. Look, you're still young, and I hate to break it to you, but there are other people who are going to 'wrong' you, too, -whom you are yet to meet. You need to re-design your skills and methods for coping with rejection and dealing with bitter issues now, while your 'bitterness quotient' is relatively low and your emotional state is salvageable. Handle this in a healthy, forward-thinking way and don't let it get the best of you and affect all your future relationships. 'Normalize' yourself by becoming social again, and avoid all encounters for a good while with the ex and your room-mate. It's not that you're running from them, -it's more about developing strength until you're able to pass them in a tight hallway and feel nothing more than a slight twinge of hurt. Hurt, that you will someday, -surprisingly- be glad you dealt with and learned from. "Start where you are." - Edgar Cayce Start now. (Smile) -Rio
Author srsvfx Posted January 26, 2006 Author Posted January 26, 2006 just to make this a little more clear... this girl is my current girlfriend... we broke up for like 2 weeks and got back togeather. The hookup with my roommate happend at the end of those 2 weeks. I live with some other people now, and I am still going out with this girl. She loves me and has forgiven me for breaking up because she says she is so happy to have me back. She was pretty depressed for those 2 weeks. When we go party and she gets drunk she confesses that she wants to marry me. This girl is great and I love her. I need to forgive her though because I bring up her hooking up with my roommate a lot which always gets into a pretty heated argument. She never brings it up and says she doesnt think about it at all. Its me who cant stop thinking about it, I still get so angry and I try to keep quiet because I hate fighting with her, but I still cant let it go and i'll yell at her. I dont want to risk this relationship by me not getting over what happend. thanks
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