Defector Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I am in highschool (age 17-18) and I have had a slight issue the past year and a half. I need help so here is the story- It all started in August 2004, when I met this girl(We will call her... Rachel). I have liked alot of girls before, but she was by far the only girl I had ever loved yet. Several weeks after we had met we had become friends and I helped her with homework by going to her house (nothing romantic ever happened.... just flirting). I always was sore because I laughed and smiled so much when I spent time with her. Well.... October rolled around and I started to feel like I should get serious with her and officially ask her out to this dance that we were both expected to go to. The problem here was that right before I asked her, I found out that she had just gotten a date to the dance. Therefore, she never found out my intentions. As all could imagine.... I wasn't happy.... but I kept quiet and controlled myself because I loved her so much and didn't want her to feel guilty about finding someone else for the time being. Well, December rolled around and the big dance came. I dressed up nicely and went-without a date. I talked to her a little when she wasn't busy with her "date." I ended up talking to some other friends for a while. One of the people I talked to was Rachel's sister(We will call Rachel's sister... Sandy). Somehow, I learned how to dance with one of Sandy's friends and eventually found myself dancing with Sandy herself. I couldn't help but feel unhappy and uncomfortable (this was after-all Rachel's fraternal twin sister). We stopped dancing after the song ended and I talked a bit more with the people and began to walk away to go see Rachel, who I could clearly see was alone at the moment. It was as I walked to see Rachel that I heard Sandy say my name from behind me. She asked me out.. I said yes (This might have been a mistake but I had started to feel that maybe Rachel had moved on. So I said yes to her). I asked her how long she had felt this way. Sandy said that she had liked me since early 2004... before I even met Rachel. *This is where I will pause for a moment. I had never liked Sandy any more than a distant friend and I had always been in love with Rachel. I know I shouldn't have said yes... or maybe I did do the right thing... I don't know yet.* Anyway, I am still going out with Sandy to this day. I have enjoyed it and I do care for her but in all honesty I will always love Rachel more. Everytime I spend time with Sandy I find myself flirting with Rachel or gazing at Rachel remembering everything that made me love her so much. At school I sit right beside Rachel in one class and I talk to her a alot and make her smile. Sandy does not know that I have ever loved Rachel. Sandy has already (a few years ago) had her last boyfriend leave her to ask out Rachel... of course Rachel said no but it hurt Sandy a great deal and I don't want to hurt her again. Rachel clearly loves to flirt with me and I know has feelings for me... I just know it. I know I have obviously made a major mistake somewhere and I feel pretty stupid for letting myself go for a year and a half and still be deeply in love with Rachel. I do not love Sandy anywhere close to the way I love Rachel and as much as I have tried.. I can't make myself love her. I desperately want to be with Rachel. I know that if I break up with Sandy that their mother wouldn't be too happy about me asking out Rachel then... It would also be very awkward as well around the rest of the family if I went over to Rachel's (In the event I broke up with Sandy and went out with Rachel) house while their family is home..... maybe I could break up now and ask Rachel out a few months from now? I just want some advice that could help me sort out the problem.... I know there is no "Golden Answer" but I just want to know some opinions and maybe some suggestions to help me here. Thank you for your time. EDIT- As a note, Rachel is single right now
Author Defector Posted January 26, 2006 Author Posted January 26, 2006 Dont want this to disappear into the dark... I need help please... anyone?
Author Defector Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Alright, one last time.... does anyone have any advice? This is my last hope really. None of my freinds have anything to say and my family can't help either. Please help anyone that feels they can.
Lucasarts Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 you shot yourself in the foot with this one kid, someones bound to get hurt, it just depends on who. you already hurt sandy by simply saying yes to her asking you out, you kept the relationship as a b/f with her goiing, and now your simply leading her on. Rachel was the one you wanted, and the one you should have gone for all along. i dont know what to say except that if you really want rachel you have to hurt sandy in the process.
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