Mermaiden Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Ah I never thought Id be in this situation. I wrote about my ex boyfriend trying to take advantage of my time and use me as his errand girl back in Sepetember. He started to get very nasty and we ended our friendship. Or so I thought. After a month of no contact, he apologised for hurting me and promised to be a good friend. For the last several months we made tenative, shaky steps to try and be friends with each other. We live a block apart and still travel in the same circles so I thought it would make things less awkward to try and maintain a semblance of civilty. He has a girlfriend and is very serious with her. But he has admitted that he can't get over the jealousy of me dating someone new. I havent started dating anyone new yet but Ive tried to make it clear to him the last few weeks that Im going to concentrate on meeting someone and that he needs to try and not feel so obsessed about it. Unfortunately, each time Ive mentioned that life does go on and I will be trying to date, my ex makes disturbed 'jokes'. He says he's just joking but what he says leaves me disquieted. And freaks me out enough to post for some opinions on how serious his 'jokes' may be. He has joked that he'll kill a new boyfriend of mine, or kill us both or strangle me. He then laughs and then says , Im kidding but I dont want to witness you dating, I dont know if I could handle it. Today I finally needled him and said that his jokes disturb me and he said to stop mentioning that I will be dating new people. I then said that I wont mention it in the future but we cant have much of a close friendship is he's so sensitive. He then floored me by saying that every time I mention how I'm intent of dating new men that he gets pangs of hurt. He then said to me, stop mentioning the subject anymore and dont let me see you dating anyone or .......... Ill slash your face. My jaw dropped and he said stop taking everything seriously. Im really disturbed that I had been able to forge an okay calm friendship for last several months and now my ex is making me fearful he'll turn psycho if he saw me with a new guy.
blind_otter Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Cut off contact with him. This will get confusing, messy and ugly. I have an ex in prison for trying to hurt a close friend of mine... If he can't handle it, then he can't handle it. You two cannot maintain a friendship through all of this if he can't allow you to be free.
slubberdegullion Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Get this fellow out of your life immediately. There's nothing to be gained by hanging out or even being friends with this dude if he's so light-hearted about physical violence directed towards you. Sure, he may think it's a really big joke, and that you're a stick-in-the-mud because you don't find it funny, but the sad fact is that you don't need this sort of stress in your life. Drop him like a rotten potato at a maggot festival.
j.carsey Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Stay the hell away from him, anyone who threatens violence to you is not your friend in any sense of the term. Don't talk to him. You don't have to be rude or confrontational to accomplish this, just avoid him and certainly don't contact him to tell you anything about yourself.
Outcast Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Don't only drop him; tell the police about his threats and tell him that you will get the police involved if he comes near you ever again. It's a crime to make threats against someone. He's no friend; hopefully you have figured this out by now.
Geoffrey Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 My ex kinda "threatened" me too....she's VERY jealous but won't admit it. She greatly over-reacted when she found out I had a couple of dates recently. It would be best to stay away from someone like that. Maybe women are different from men in that respect, but if a man threatens that sort of thing, I would tend to take it seriously.
morrigan Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Take this seriously, to the point of ending all contact and changing your phone number and door locks if he previously had access to your keys. You can't know where his "joking" ends and where his violent behavior begins.
bluechocolate Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 There seems to be consensus here. Outcast is right, issuing threats is against the law.
Breed Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Make sure to tell him how u feel and that you dont wish to be ascociated with him anymore because of his violent nature. I know it sounds silly, but just incase make sure your next boyfriend is a big/ard blokey, not a wuss. That will help him back off a bit imo.
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