slubberdegullion Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Another poster got me thinking about this. In the post, he mentioned that he sent a "hail mary" email (or maybe letter, I don't know) as a last-ditch attempt to try & bring his lady back into his life. It failed, and he expected that so even though he was disappointed he wasn't entirely surprised. I've often thought of doing that myself, and have tried it on two occasions, neither one successful. Has anyone ever had any success with a "hail mary" email, letter, phone call or whatever?
a4a Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Slub are you toying with the idea of giving it a go again? a4a
CaliGuy Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 If you really wanted to get back with your Ex, you shouldn't do it over email. A hail mary pass is really, IMHO, a half-a$$ed attempt to win them back. Just as you wouldn't accept a 'half-hearted' attempt from your Ex to patch things up with you don't expect your Ex to take your hail mary seriously. If your ex wants you back, they'll be clear about it. As you should be if you want them back. And not over email. In person with a very mature, emotion free, logical approach on why you should get a second chance. Nothing on this world is more unappealing than blubbering, begging and pleading for someone to take you back. If anything, it will make run away from you as fast as they can.
Author slubberdegullion Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 Slub are you toying with the idea of giving it a go again? Nope, it was just a general question. Firing off a hail mary really isn't my style, though I'll admit to having done it in the past. Didn't work, naturally.
CaliGuy Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Didn't work, naturally. They never do! The hail mary pass has to come FROM your ex, not TO your ex And the Ex will be quite clear about when he/she is ready to try again. But that's probably only going to come after a long period of NC and lots of personal growth on both sides.
RZA-Man Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I sent that “Hail Mary” and looking back on it, I think I sent it out more to get closure than anything else. CaliGuy makes a good point that asking for a second chance should have been done in person and that it should be initiated by the ex not the dumpee. Part of the reason I sent an e-mail rather than doing it in person was that I'm better at expressing myself through a heartfelt e-mail rather than awkward conversation and my ex is also the same way. Was it the wise thing to do? No. I broke NC and felt worse because of it. Furthermore, by sending that e-mail I probably came off as pathetic and needy - two traits women don't find attractive. However, when all is said and done I don't necessarily regret it. The e-mail and subsequent rejection have given me closure. Now I'm not thinking "Maybe I should call her to let her know how I feel” or "Perhaps she just need to know that I want her back." There's none of that. I know for a fact that she doesn’t want me. Obviously the fact that she dumped me should’ve been proof enough that she didn’t want me and intellectually that was the case. But my heart was still holding out hope - until I got her reply to that e-mail. That's not the case anymore. My heart is pretty much in sync with my mind. It's over. Move on. There's no holding out hope she'll call. With this newfound closure the desire to break NC isn't so great. Admittedly, there are times I still want to call her but that feeling is fleeting. Why would I bother doing that, so she can continue stomping on my pride? After this "Hail Mary" e-mail I've been on NC for 25 days, my longest effort to date. Anyway, I didn’t mean to hijack this thread. I think that everyone should follow NC and I wish I had stuck with it. Yet, everyone needs to find closure in their own way. My way was to throw a "Hail Mary" and pretty much get kicked in the face again. Hey whatever works right?
CaliGuy Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I sent that “Hail Mary” and looking back on it, I think I sent it out more to get closure than anything else. CaliGuy makes a good point that asking for a second chance should have been done in person and that it should be initiated by the ex not the dumpee. Part of the reason I sent an e-mail rather than doing it in person was that I'm better at expressing myself through a heartfelt e-mail rather than awkward conversation and my ex is also the same way. Was it the wise thing to do? No. I broke NC and felt worse because of it. Furthermore, by sending that e-mail I probably came off as pathetic and needy - two traits women don't find attractive. However, when all is said and done I don't necessarily regret it. The e-mail and subsequent rejection have given me closure. Now I'm not thinking "Maybe I should call her to let her know how I feel” or "Perhaps she just need to know that I want her back." There's none of that. I know for a fact that she doesn’t want me. Obviously the fact that she dumped me should’ve been proof enough that she didn’t want me and intellectually that was the case. But my heart was still holding out hope - until I got her reply to that e-mail. That's not the case anymore. My heart is pretty much in sync with my mind. It's over. Move on. There's no holding out hope she'll call. With this newfound closure the desire to break NC isn't so great. Admittedly, there are times I still want to call her but that feeling is fleeting. Why would I bother doing that, so she can continue stomping on my pride? After this "Hail Mary" e-mail I've been on NC for 25 days, my longest effort to date. Anyway, I didn’t mean to hijack this thread. I think that everyone should follow NC and I wish I had stuck with it. Yet, everyone needs to find closure in their own may. My way was to throw a "Hail Mary" and pretty much get kicked in the face again. Hey whatever works right? Excellent post RZA. Everyone has to get closure their own way. For me it was just seeing how indifferent she was to me and how she was towards he new guy. Talk about a smack in the face. After loving someone for so long and giving them your all only to see the love you felt you deserve go to someone she barely knows. Bah. I believe in Karma
notmakingsense Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Ok -- well what about focusing a little on RZA's thought -- what if you wanted to send a Hail Mary specifically to help with closure? I think I'll start another thread on this -- but just quickly -- what if your hail mary didn't ask for your ex back -- what if it was simply written/spoken (whatever) to answer some questions that would put your mind at rest? In my case, we were very good friends in addition to lovers. I have to believe she has SOME compassion in her to answer the questions that will benefit me moving forward. Naaaah..... the more I type this post, the more I realize that this could never work. I mean, how silly would it be to ask something like... "Jane, I've been thinking... you broke up with me because you found another man, right?" I mean, do you REALLY want to hear that from her? Settling on the reasons in your own mind should be enough. Sorry for the hijaak.
riobikini Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 Definition of the Hail Mary Pass: A good way to crap all over yourself, for a change. -Rio
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