Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Just broke NC. Had been doing well walking away and he e-mailed me yesterday. Didn't respond until this morning with a short response. I, stupidly, text messaged him and now I feel like crap. Sent him an e-mail telling him not to contact me until his situation changes drastically, and that he made his choice and to live with it. I was doing so well before all of this, and now I feel like crap because I let him into my head again. Any suggestions?
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Start it over again. And now do NOT reply to any future emails. Just go on like it's been 4 days...This was a bump in the road, so let it be just that. Call a friend and GO out! Have fun and forget this guy. You did it for four days, you can do another four...And then just keep on going. Good luck!
AJS Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 You did the right thing by telling him he made his choice and to live with it. Stick to that! He is just trying to have his cake and eat it too obviously. Don't give in unless you want to be right back where you were before. You are worth more than that! Just keep telling him to leave you alone unless he changes his situation, chances are you will see the real man that he is.
Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Thank you for your supportl. I have been lurking here for about a week, and have been amazed at those going through what I have been going through. I am a very strong woman, and I know I will get through this, but this is really hard. I am letting the last leaf fall in this relationship. I am just so angry for letting him in. He told me the same lies that all of the women posted about, in fact, he didn't tell me he was married until over one month into the relationship.
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Here is a link to no foolin's thread. It's in the coping section and it has helped so many people. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Hope this helps and you gain some insights.
Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Here is a link to no foolin's thread. It's in the coping section and it has helped so many people. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Hope this helps and you gain some insights. I've read it. Helped immensely in these past few days. Thanks. It is nice to know that people are here to help. I WILL continue to do the right thing. I will promise myself to be so strong that NOTHING can disturb me.
AJS Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 He told me the same lies that all of the women posted about, in fact, he didn't tell me he was married until over one month into the relationship. Oh this guy is bad news girlfriend! I wouldn't be with him even if he did leave his W. RUN for the hills!
Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 But, OH the seduction. I consider myself a very intelligent, beautiful woman, but this one, he put on the charm like I had never seen before....Flights to stay with him on business trips, fine dining, flowers, candy, jewelry, spa coupons...you name it. He was slick, this one. I still can't believe that I fell for it, and am hurting because of it. If it is too good to be true, is ALWAYS is, take it from me.
Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Even blew off his family to fly me to Vegas Christmas night. He lives in another state, so he pulled out all the stops to keep me hooked, and up until this past week, it worked. Fortunately, it only took me a few months to learn that the pleasure was not worth the pain. But, golly, it IS like getting over an addiction. It's hard to give up that kind of attention, and that, I suppose is what is so hard for me now....I am a single mom and it will be hard pressed to meet someone who pursues me as vehemently as he did, but at least if it happens to me in the future, it will be REAL.
AJS Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Even blew off his family to fly me to Vegas Christmas night. He lives in another state, so he pulled out all the stops to keep me hooked, and up until this past week, it worked. Fortunately, it only took me a few months to learn that the pleasure was not worth the pain. But, golly, it IS like getting over an addiction. It's hard to give up that kind of attention, and that, I suppose is what is so hard for me now....I am a single mom and it will be hard pressed to meet someone who pursues me as vehemently as he did, but at least if it happens to me in the future, it will be REAL. So he was fun, made you feel good. Look at what he is doing to his W. As far as you meeting somebody who doesn't care if you have children, it can happen. My sister has 4 kids and met a wonderful man who married her and is a daddy to all of her children. I know it seems hard after having this guy around, but try to keep in mind what kind of man he really is.
Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Not only what he is doing to his wife, but to me also. He met my kids, my co-workers....even came to my Christmas party at work, and a Halloween party that a co-worker hosted. Thanks for the perspective. Everything you are telling me is true, and I BELIEVE IT. I can personally attest to the fact that some married men truly DO pursue the OW, not the other way around. And, it is MY job to stop the pursuit now. Too many people are getting hurt, myself included.
Walking away Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 The thing is, and I am IN NO WAY DEFENDING HIM, he agrees with me that we need to stop until he is free. He said that he loves me too much to hurt me this way. I went out with male friend New Year's Eve, and he said it was the hardest night he had ever spent. After that, he told me that he realized how painful this relationship must be for me and that he will NOT be the a**hole that does this to me any longer. He told me that he will come find me when this happens, that he wished I would wait for him, but doesn't expect it (which is good, cause I am not waiting for him). He made his choice, which is the best decision for all involved. Why does he continue to contact me? He must know that this makes it harder for both of us. Anyway, I am officially back on the wagon and not contacting him again. LS has been extremely instrumental in helping me keep my resolve to NC. I already feel better after posting here. Any other suggestions for keeping me in the right direction?
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