icequeen Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 you let a guy know that you are attracted to him, if you are married? (and he's not) I know him thru a friend and I would never want my friend to know what I'm up to. I'm really into him and would like to put the ball in his court. But I never get a moment alone with the guy, and I'm not sure how to really approch him. The times we have hung out (as a group), he and I have made some serious eye contact and there's definately something there.(I can feel "it" when he's in the room) I don't know if he would actually approach me because he knows I'm married. But he's hot and I want to do bad, dirty things to him. lol How can I let him know what I'm thinking without bringing attention to myself or causing suspicion?
AJS Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Chances are he will probably not want to get involved with you because you are M. Why do you want to cheat on your H if you don't mind me asking? Have you tried to work on your M first? I'm M to a wonderful man, he wasn't always so great though. He use to be quite boring and became so routine with everyday life that I couldn't take it anymore. I tried everything to get him back into the passion as they say. When he just ignored me, I told him I was going to start seeing somebody else, and that's what I did. I even moved out to start a new life with a single guy. In the end we worked it out and we are very happy NOW. If you can keep this from happening to you, please do so. It's not worth all the drama it will cause you trust me.
Author icequeen Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 I just need to see if I'm still capable of having a passionate relationship or if I'm just not capable of having it with h. I know what I feel when I'm around this other guy. It's crazy. I haven't had "that feeling" in ages. And the last time I did have butterflies, it wasn't with h. I have never had that connection with my h. But don't ask why I married him. It's a long story and no I wasn't pregnant. I just need to know that I am still able to have passionate intimacy. I need to know that I can still be turned on. I need to know if I can still have the big O. (it's been way too long since I had the big O with a man) I'm not looking for a boyfriend and I know my decisions have the potential to make a mess. But this is something I need to know before I (try to) spend the rest of my life with a man I don't love.
AJS Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I just need to see if I'm still capable of having a passionate relationship or if I'm just not capable of having it with h. I know what I feel when I'm around this other guy. It's crazy. I haven't had "that feeling" in ages. And the last time I did have butterflies, it wasn't with h. I have never had that connection with my h. But don't ask why I married him. It's a long story and no I wasn't pregnant. I just need to know that I am still able to have passionate intimacy. I need to know that I can still be turned on. I need to know if I can still have the big O. (it's been way too long since I had the big O with a man) I'm not looking for a boyfriend and I know my decisions have the potential to make a mess. But this is something I need to know before I (try to) spend the rest of my life with a man I don't love. In all honesty I can really relate to what you are feeling. It's so natural to have the need for passion. I didn't think I would ever feel that way about my H again, but I do. Now if you never felt that way about your H to begin with, then you might want to just leave him. If that's not something you can do, then all I can say is be careful. This man isn't a friend of your H is he?
hooghie Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I wouldn't go down that road if I were you. It may seem fun & exciting now, but trust me- A LOT OF PAIN AND HARDSHIP WILL COME OF IT. If you no longer want to be with your husband. Get a quickie divorce and keep it simple BEFORE you do something with someone else.
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I just need to see if I'm still capable of having a passionate relationship or if I'm just not capable of having it with h. I know what I feel when I'm around this other guy. It's crazy. I haven't had "that feeling" in ages. And the last time I did have butterflies, it wasn't with h. I have never had that connection with my h. But don't ask why I married him. It's a long story and no I wasn't pregnant. I just need to know that I am still able to have passionate intimacy. I need to know that I can still be turned on. I need to know if I can still have the big O. (it's been way too long since I had the big O with a man) I'm not looking for a boyfriend and I know my decisions have the potential to make a mess. But this is something I need to know before I (try to) spend the rest of my life with a man I don't love. So basically, if this other man doesn't do it for you, you will fall back into the arms of your husband and make it work again? Listen, you those butterflies come and go in marriage. YOU can bring back that passion, that hot sex. You both just have to work at it and make it happen. It won't be like that new crushy feeling at the beginning of all relationships, but it can be even better in so many other ways!! Are you willing to throw away your marriage so you can see if you can orgasm with another man?? DO you love your husband at all? If you don't, be on your own. End it THEN go experimenting with men. DO not do it while you're still married. You're using your husband and marriage as a safety net and that is not fair to him at all. If you are this unhappy then DO something about it that doesn't involve cheating on your husband. And one more thing...There is alot more about marriage and love than just sex and the big O. If you can't see that yet then maybe you do need to end your marriage. Forget the vows, forget history, forget who is there when you need a friend, who helps pay the bills, family and friends together, a house, a pet, whatever...Just remember how much you could be giving up so you can figure out if you're able to orgasm. Sorry to sound harsh but I think you're giving up waaaaaaay too easily on your husband. Does he even know how you feel? Have you actually tried to seek counselling, or go to a sex therapist to see if that will help?
LBC Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 So basically, if this other man doesn't do it for you, you will fall back into the arms of your husband and make it work again? Listen, you those butterflies come and go in marriage. YOU can bring back that passion, that hot sex. You both just have to work at it and make it happen. It won't be like that new crushy feeling at the beginning of all relationships, but it can be even better in so many other ways!! Are you willing to throw away your marriage so you can see if you can orgasm with another man?? DO you love your husband at all? If you don't, be on your own. End it THEN go experimenting with men. DO not do it while you're still married. You're using your husband and marriage as a safety net and that is not fair to him at all. If you are this unhappy then DO something about it that doesn't involve cheating on your husband. And one more thing...There is alot more about marriage and love than just sex and the big O. If you can't see that yet then maybe you do need to end your marriage. Forget the vows, forget history, forget who is there when you need a friend, who helps pay the bills, family and friends together, a house, a pet, whatever...Just remember how much you could be giving up so you can figure out if you're able to orgasm. Sorry to sound harsh but I think you're giving up waaaaaaay too easily on your husband. Does he even know how you feel? Have you actually tried to seek counselling, or go to a sex therapist to see if that will help? I stayed away from this thread, cause my response would have been harsh. But WWIU, you said what i would have siad in a nice manner.
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 I stayed away from this thread, cause my response would have been harsh. But WWIU, you said what i would have siad in a nice manner. Thanks. If only we could bottle that high intense crushy feeling forever and keep on opening that bottle throughout marriages and relationships...Then there would be alot less cheating going on in the world. But, there isn't so you just gotta work at it the old fashioned way and know that it's there. Maybe not as it was at the beginning but it there, just packaged a different way.
Curmudgeon Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 But this is something I need to know before I (try to) spend the rest of my life with a man I don't love. Why would you even consider spending the rest of your life with your husband if you don't love him? If that's truly the way you feel you'd be doing him and yourself a kindness by just being honest enough to leave. Then you can have all the "fun" you want without possibly horribly hurting someone else. Then again, perhaps "IceQueen" is more a description than merely a handle.
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