kjo314 Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 So I asked a girl out and she im'ed me back with this. "so i was wonderin if you aren't busy this weekend..... if you would like to go get lunch or dinner or something :-)" SHE SAID: yeah i'll have to see what i'm doing, i am not good at planning ahead. what does that mean we really aren't friends but rather we jsut know each other. I have been tlaking to her more and more lately and she seems like a fun girl. What do you guys think?
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 It could mean many things... 1)She just doesn't like to make plans too far in advance. 2)She's leaving her options open for something or someone else. 3)She is shy and just doesn't know how to do this date thing. 4)She's not into you and just gave you the brush off. 5)She means exactly what she said. Just pure honesty. SO, I would wait another day and just tell her let's do a coffee or lunch. Forget dinner right now.
Author kjo314 Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 PLEASE REPLY ALL... What should I do next??
gfto Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 First of all, it's great to see that you're pursuing some new girls instead of that ex!!! Congrats! But, you get a C- in setting up dates. You gave her way too much wiggle room. I'm afraid that her response was a brush off. When you ask a girl out, you have to be confident and ask for a specific time and place. For example, "Hey, let's meet at [fill in the name of the nearest pool hall] and play some pool Wednesday night." Her response will tell you how interested she is. If she's interested in you, she'll either accept your offer, or she'll make a counteroffer: "well, I can't make it Wednesday; how about Friday?" Any other responses from her indicate that she's just not that into you. That being said, I would call her (not text her) and ask her for a specific date, as I described above. And, like I said, if she doesn't accept or make a counteroffer, then flush her number, because you will have asked her out twice and got nothing.
Author kjo314 Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 Dammit... no dean's list for me eh? lol..... Help me not be such a loser when asking women out... I honestly feel that is my weakness.
loony Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 That's my favorite wishy-washy answer I will give guys who ask me out and whom I'm not interested in. I think there are two problems, first, she is probably not interested in you. Second, it's very likely that whatever you suggested did not interest her. I will tell you an anecdote from my oh-so-exciting life. Before Christmas a friend of mine asked me if I would like to meet him on 25th for the evening. He lives somewhere else, but was coming home for the holidays. He said he might come to my town and we could do something together. He is nice and we had spent some time talking on Skype shortly before, updating on what was going on in our life, but I still didn't feel like wanting to hang out with him, for the two reasons mentioned before. I'm not sure if he still has his girlfriend, but I knew he had been once interested in me, that and the fact he didn't really suggested anything that piqued my interest. Hanging out together and talking with someone who might be interested in me is just something that I don't feel like doing at the moment. On the other hand, another friend of ours came up with the idea of going to a concert. I know he also was once interested in me, but I think he is over it or didn't take the rejection that seriously, at least he never behaves awkward around me and when he asks he usually suggests something interesting. I either decide to join him and his friends or I don't. In any case, it's usually pretty pressurefree. Ok, I admit it, I'm indulging in a mental laziness at the moment and it's not fair, etc., but guess what, I probably went out more often with him than with other people. If you want this see this girl more often and create the opportunity to get to know you better even if she is not interested in you at the moment, then you must come up with some good ideas that strike her as entertaining enough. Be warned though, just because she goes out with you does not necessarily mean that she will fall for you, but at least you will set up the opportunity for her to fall for you. If she is interested in you already you can come up with whatever you want and she will say yes, if she isn't you have to make it a little bit more interesting for her to spend time with you and as a positive sideeffect get to know you.
Deirdre Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 the way you're asking sounded almost apolegetic, and unless shes very into you, any girl will say no. instead of "you arent busy this weekend" use a positive statement like "will you be free this weekend" and instead of "lunch or dinner or something" just pick either LUNCH, DINNER, and please do not add "something".....it makes you sound like you're always free and if shes got nothing better to do she might just grace you with her presense. as for her answer, its an ambiguous way to tell you no, because she obviously didnt wanna commit to a date. if a girl accepts a date, she will ask you when and where. So I asked a girl out and she im'ed me back with this. "so i was wonderin if you aren't busy this weekend..... if you would like to go get lunch or dinner or something :-)" SHE SAID: yeah i'll have to see what i'm doing, i am not good at planning ahead. what does that mean we really aren't friends but rather we jsut know each other. I have been tlaking to her more and more lately and she seems like a fun girl. What do you guys think?
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