riobikini Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I heard that whole whiney-ass excuse about feeling overwhelmed, too, -only he used the words " I don't know what I want'. What he meant to say was, " I don't know WHICH one I want." He was such a charming liar. Of course he knew what he wanted. He just wanted all that AND a bag of chips to go with it. -Rio
Author nightowl Posted January 26, 2006 Author Posted January 26, 2006 Thank you to all of you for posting. I talked with him today. I really opened up and poured my heart out about everything I am feeling and thinking and struggling with. I told him that I don't think I can continue in this relationship, as it is hurting me. I was crying, because I am in pain. I explained that I don't want to be in a long distance relationship, and I gave my reasons why. He didn't seem to understand. He didn't seem to be able to identify with my feelings. He said that he won't let himself feel guilty. (what does that mean?) He said that he needs time for himself, and that he is going to take it, and that he doesn't care if I cannot handle that. (how cruel can a guy be?) I could hear that he was crying on the phone as well. He would not agree to see me, and he still wants to be physically apart for at least another month. I said I don't want that, that I think this is really messed up and it doesn't make any sense to me that he would want to be away from me if he really was in love with me. He said he has some issues to work through and that he wants to be a better person before committing to being with me. I told him that emails and phone calls don't make a relationship, and that I need face to face interaction. I was really clear about that. If I wanted a long distance relationship, I would be seeking just that! I don't know what he will do now, but at least he knows how his choice is affecting me. I spoke up, and I feel good about that. I feel better about myself now. He asked for time to think about everything, I told him that I am not committed to him and that I am not waiting for him. I'm hurting pretty badly right now. That was one of the most difficult phone calls I've had in all my life! I feel kind of messed up from all of this drama. Thanks to all of you for your support. It matters to me that people are commenting on this thread, and I really do appreciate the kindness you've all shown to me.
bluechocolate Posted January 26, 2006 Posted January 26, 2006 niteowl - this guy is bad news. Honestly. He's really screwing with you & not being entirely truthful. I'm hurting pretty badly right now. Sorry to hear that, but you know it's only up hill from here. Just don't let him dick you around anymore. He's not emotionally mature enough to have a meaningful relationship & that is not your problem. It's not a reflection on you & there is little or anything that you can do about it, so don't even try.
Author nightowl Posted January 26, 2006 Author Posted January 26, 2006 thanks blue maybe it's a blessing in disguise that he left when he did?
brightskies Posted January 27, 2006 Posted January 27, 2006 Hmm, sounds familiar. Except in my case, he moved continents. He didn't know what he wanted, but he still wanted me around. All on his terms of course. I broke up with him almost a year ago and he still tries to contact me and say that he "loves" me, the jackass. Point is, don't hang around and try to figure him out, 'cause you'll never get a straight answer from someone like that. He hasn't got the balls to face up to what he's done and he hasn't got the balls to be honest. It seriously sucks right now, and it hurts like hell, but you'll be glad that you made up your mind to end things and not wait for him. If he really loved you, he would at least sit you down and talk things out. What he did was entirely selfish and cowardly and you need to move on. Good for you for taking things into your own hands and not waiting around for nothing. And whatever happens, don't take him back. He'll only do it again. When something goes wrong in his life, even if it has nothing to do with you, he'll run.
Author nightowl Posted January 27, 2006 Author Posted January 27, 2006 Thanks for sharing brightskies I think this is a pattern with him. This just isn't the sort of relationship I want, regardless of how much he supposedly loves me, this is just not how I do relationships. Staying with him would mess me up, I just know it, and I don't want to end up messed up like him!
brightskies Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Yeah, it's going to be tough, but hang in there. We're here for you. It really helps to read through these forums when you're tempted to conatct him. Better to vent on LShack than to contact him.
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