thisisarandomperson Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I couldn't really think of an appropriate title so please excuse it. This is my 2nd trip here and its about the same girl. If you want to know the history read this 'short' post i made in the past: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t78301/ Continuing on from that previous thread. I listened to what the people said in their replies, that i should move on. I moved on, but me and her got talking again. I was going to go date this foreign exchange student in my school for a few months before uni, but i told the other girl that all she had to do was say something and i would not date anyone. Eventually she said she loved me and i felt the same way, it seemed things were back on track. But recently we started falling out again over little stupid things, which were mainly due to me. Im not sure why i guess it is because of all the pressure and stress of the final year of school before uni, and my hormones. We fell out about twice or so lately and i explained why i am like this and all my problems and she understood. It seemed everything was going to be fine. We text a lot and on friday night she said she was low on credit and on saturday morn she was texting me whilst i was still half-awake. I fell asleep before i texted her back on her final text, i texted her back when i woke up. She never text back and she still hasn't texted back since (its now tuesday evening). I was thinking she was out of credit but im increasingly worried that perhaps we have fallen out or something (not that we were falling out on the last few texts). Whenever we fall out she doesn't speak to me, and that is why this time i think we have fallen out again. I've texted her numerous times asking if she is ok and if we have fallen out. No reply. I've rang her lots of times over the past 3 nights but she doesn't answer. Normally when she is not talking to me she turns off her phone, but this time it is on. Im not sure if something has happened to her, if we have fallen out, or i am just being paranoid. Her grandad was recently admitted into hospital and im not sure if something has happened to him that has caused her not to speak to me. She cares a great deal for her friends and family so whenever anything happens to them she gets upset. I can't get through to her so im getting worried about her and our relationship. Although we weren't dating, we were well on our way to it. We like each other a lot, and we said that we loved each other (which is true). We have started talking about the future, i.e. going to the same uni's, etc. On thursday night she said the following after a recent fallout: "Whoa u made my fone freeze wen i opened tht txt! Thts the longest txt i've seen! U make me feel so special I cant believe ur trying so hard 2 change 4 me. Ill admit i didnt really appreciate u and that i kept getting moody but ig et more moody wen nt tlkin 2 u. I was moody earlier 2day coz i didn't like this whole idea of not talking. I cant imagine myself being with anyone but you. I want to be happy with you till we get sick of each other! I love u so much jonny, i cannot even imagine myself even h8in u xxx" That was after i sent her a huge huge text to explain stuff after we both agreed to take a weeks break, but we couldnt stick to it after a day coz we missed each other. I want to believe everything is ok between us, and am reassured by reading that text. BUt when i think of why she isn't answering the phone it has me worried. Am i just being paranoid because this has happened in the past? I love this girl more than anything and i think she is really special, and i want to make up for treating her wrong/badly in the past. Im just worried she is annoyed with me at the moment and won't speak to me for some unknown reason. I know that at the moment it is "the time of the month" for her so it could be that. She said she is getting paid next tuesday so she can top up her phone. But i can't wait that long, i want to know whats wrong because as each day passes i get more and more depressed about it. So what should i do? Keep trying to call her? Leave her alone? Move on? Please help! Apologies for the huge post...
Forever Searching Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all to me. IMO I think you need to work on your self esteem before trying to be involved in a relationship, especially a long distance on.
gfto Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 This is precisely the reason everyone told you to move on. I was going to go date this foreign exchange student in my school for a few months before uni, but i told the other girl that all she had to do was say something and i would not date anyone. You might as well have said to her, "I'll always be available for you to jerk me around for your amusement." Let's be clear....This girl has very low interest level in you. Move on.
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 Im just not sure if i can give up this girl. I am a really really picky person about girls, and i haven't ever had a proper girlfriend because of that. I spend time with a girl, but before long i find all the flaws in her and realise she isn't the one. But this girl is different, we really get on and stuff its just we are falling out. Im not sure why, but i think it is mostly down to me. Im not really into any short term relationships, i only want long term. I've known her for over a year and its sort of building up to something. I don't want to give up because i don't want to lose my chance of finding real love. Im pretty sure i love this girl and she feels the same way about me. If i give up, i don't want to keep thinking of what could have been, or if i will ever find another girl. Am i stupid for thinking that?
Walk Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I think it'd be best if you stopped trying to contact her right now. If you're dying to make sure she's not hurt or dead, then maybe you could contact her parents? Or a mutual friend to find out. But even if her credits on her phone are expired, she could've found another way to contact you. There are phones all over the world. Easily accesible. So if she isn't contacting you, and someone isn't dead, then you need to realize she's being an insensitive, irresponsible and uncaring girlfriend. It is childish to the highest degree. You don't treat someone you love like she has treated you. You don't just "disappear". When my phone dies with my bf I hoof it to the nearest pay phone and call him back to explain. I don't just leave him in the dark for days. Side note: I have done this once, not returned calls, text etc, and it was because I did not care how it affected the person I was with. I just didn't care enough to attempt to return the calls or texts.
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 Well after our recent fallout i said that she had communication issues. Not really the best thing to say to a girl, but i had to say it. This was because she falls asleep on me every night whilst texting me without saying good night. Most mornings she doesn't text back to say she is sorry or whatever. She tends to go off and does things and doesn't text back without telling me that she isn't going to be texting back for a while, e.g. watching a film, going to work. I have said to her that it is really childish to ignore someone instead of talking to me whenever we have problems. Eventually she said she understood what i said. But now here we go again, she has disappeared this time for without telling me. She hasn't really ever rung me, i could put that down to nerves as we hardly ever call each other. Whenever i run out of credit i always ring her to say im out of credit so she doesn't think im ignorin her or something has happened to me. Perhaps she is this way because she just isn't all that experienced with guys? I don't have her home number and i don't know any of her friends. I did manage to get her home number by using the internet and finding out her home address then her home number. This was during our big big big bust up near the end of december. Lets say her mum didn't like me ringing up, her best friend didnt like it, nor did this girl. It only seemed to make things worse Maybe i am just getting too attached to this because this is my first proper 'relationship' with a girl?
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 25, 2006 Author Posted January 25, 2006 She has finally texted me again but she only had a tiny bit of credit left and now she has run out. She finished it with saying that she did love me ( im not sure if she still does), and she says she isn't sure if she wants a bf and thinks that it wont work because of the distance. I've been through exactly what she is feeling, i've had my doubts, but im sure it can work. I tell her that, and i keep texting her to get her to answer the phone but she just won't. I know she is having doubts and is worried, but i felt that before. I need her to talk her problems throguh with me on the phone, but she won't answer it. Is it worth me trying to work through this? Or do i just give up?
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