Suburbanlife03 Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I went to his house yesterday. I just wanted to talk to him to find out exactly where we stand. He still maintained that he didn't want a relationship anymore and that we were completely over. He said that there will never be another chance for us. The twisted part is that he said that he wanted to be alone for the rest of his life. He still loves me and he does want to be with my but he said that he just can't. I apologized for all the things I did wrong and he just wouldn't listen to me. I poured my heart out to him and he just told me to go away and forget about him. I told him that I didn't want to give up on us because I knew that we still loved each other and he told me that I had to. He said he's still hurt right now. He said that my trying to get back with him and talk to him isn't making this any easier and that he wishes I could just hate him so he wouldn't feel bad. I know that he still loves me and that he does want to be with me but he said that he couldn't bring himself to say it because it hurt too much. I asked him what he was trying to do & he said he just wants to erase me from his life like none of this ever happened. How do you erase 2 1/2 years of being together every waking moment outside of work and school? How do you erase having someone to cuddle up next to at night and in the morning? I just don't understand. I know that all of this is because he's being stubborn and hurt. I know that he loves me and does want me back, but he won't let himself take me back because he thinks that things will just go back to the way they were before even though I swore they wouldn't. I'm afraid right now. I feel like it really is over even though neither of us wants it to be. I know I can't go over there again or try to contact him again. I just don't know how to get over this. I asked him if he meant what he had always said about getting married, raising our kids together, and growing old together. He just started tearing up. I guess that time is the only healer here. I just still can't get it out of the back of my mind that he may come back someday. If you still love each other, isn't that the way it should be?
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