DecadesWithoutLove Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I am a middle-aged divorced male. I recently broke up with my GF of a 1 1/2 years. She actually decided to leave me because I was very honest with her, and told her that I did not see any possibility that I might be ready to marry in the near future. The truth for me was that I simply had not fallen in love with her, and I could not see that happening after a year and a half. She has told me many times that she was in love with me, and I was never really sure if this was true or not. A month after our break-up, I met another woman, and I think that I am falling for this new woman. The weird part about this, is that even though I feel very happy for finding someone that has made me feel like I have not felt for decades, I suddenly feel a flood of sadness for my ex-GF. I guess getting the feeling of being in love, I have found myself doing things that I noticed in my ex-GF. Simple things like simply wanting to look into someones eyes, I now flashback to my GF looking at me in the same way. I feel elated with my new relationship, but I also feel so sad for my ex-GF. I I guess this sadness is only worsened by the fact that she still calls me frequently, and has told me again that she really does love me. I have told her recently that I really wanted to work on our relationship as friends because I still did not see us getting back together. I am not sure at this point how to handle my ex-GF. I really do not want to hurt her and it is unclear to me whether I should simply tell her that I have found someone else, or try to be a friend.
bluechocolate Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I am not sure at this point how to handle my ex-GF. I really do not want to hurt her and it is unclear to me whether I should simply tell her that I have found someone else, or try to be a friend. How is it unclear to you whether you should tell her that you have found someone else? Isn't that what friends do - talk about what is going on in their lives, especially the important stuff? I guess this sadness is only worsened by the fact that she still calls me frequently, and has told me again that she really does love me. How many friends do you have that do this? Not many, I'd imagine. I think your desire to be her friend & not hurt her feelings is clouding your judgment. She is not your friend. Not yet anyway. I think you need to be truthful with her & then stop contact with her. Otherwise she won't get over you.
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