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Posted

Just to talk about it, advice appreciated

 

I am a mw. About 4 years ago I became very emotionally involved as a colleague with a fellow teacher much younger. We just really became very close and I was so helpful over at least 2 years in his career in many ways both behind the scenes and a genuine supporter. In return he brightened my day beyond measure. The rush of being needed and beautiful in his eyes and the friendship has been very addictive. Sometimes i did not know how I got to work, the time would pass so fast. Life was in many many colors.

 

Too public and way too close, completely emotional. Advice was from both his friends and mine. to completely cut each other off. I was embarrassed completely. . Not about to happen. We work together and that will not change for years to come. I need to reframe this relationship completely and I do not know how. And it is complicated because he teaches my children. Now not only am I a colleague but I am also a parent of his students. How weird is this.

 

I cannot get a handle on it at all. We both are trying and the ackwardness is dreadful. That is very very real. I would rather not attend events than have these dramatic worries. So I guess there it is. On one hand I do not want to break away. On the other I am trying to get the spouse to step in and be the contact person. The guys are both like deer in the woods over the same territory. Awkward and silly. How nice it would be to all be friends and be able to be comfortable. Why should I care? Enormous amount of time and effort invested in this young man and would it not be nice to stay friends.?

Posted

On the other I am trying to get the spouse to step in and be the contact person.

 

whose spouse? your husband? is he married?

 

The guys are both like deer in the woods over the same territory. Awkward and silly.

 

what guys? are you the deer?

 

it would be to all be friends and be able to be comfortable. Why should I care? Enormous amount of time and effort invested in this young man and would it not be nice to stay friends.?

 

what does all this mean....sorry i'm a little confused.

Posted

How much younger is he than you? The teacher I mean, not your husband.

 

Think of your children, okay. This is so unfair for them, you are seeing THEIR teacher and you're married. If that gets out your kids are the ones who are going to suffer most. Not you nor this man. YOUR CHILDREN. Please, think of them first before you go any further with this guy. Focus that energy into your marriage, your husband. Go to a marriage counsellor and find out what is missing, what needs that aren't being met by your husband.

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