jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Because a cat has resolved itself to the fact that it is trapped in my house and can never leave. A man, on the other hand, has opposable thumbs and can figure out how to operate the door knob.
Author Woggle Posted January 24, 2006 Author Posted January 24, 2006 Do I sound like Jen when I am in one of my woman hating moods? If so I apologize because now I see why it annoys the women. 1
loony Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Do I sound like Jen when I am in one of my woman hating moods? If so I apologize because now I see why it annoys the women. You know, if you're not one of these men, just don't feel offended. She is addressing the jerks, not the good men.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 You know, if you're not one of these men, just don't feel offended. She is addressing the jerks, not the good men. I think their existance is a widely held myth.
Outcast Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Do I sound like Jen when I am in one of my woman hating moods? Yes. And what's more, you have a bunch of lil' buddies who do it, too. Often.
bluechocolate Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 You know, if you're not one of these men, just don't feel offended. She is addressing the jerks, not the good men. Doesn't that cut both ways?
Milo Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I hate high prices!!!!!! Seriously, Jen. Get a grip on yourself and get it together. None of us are perfect, neither men nor women. We let each other down all of the time, but we also surprise each other with our thoughtfulness and caring as well.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 . We let each other down all of the time, but we also surprise each other with our thoughtfulness and caring as well. Yeah, until they grow tired of you, or the next piece of ass comes along.
Author Woggle Posted January 24, 2006 Author Posted January 24, 2006 Yes. And what's more, you have a bunch of lil' buddies who do it, too. Often. I am trying to work on it. I don't want to be a misogynist pirck but sometimes I regress when I deal with certain situations. Not saying it's right but I realize it's a problem.
Curmudgeon Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 you've made such poor choices in the past, Jen, and have permitted them to make you so bitter. What a shame that you've given others such control over your emotions and reactions. I hope that one day a real man comes into your life and enhances it.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 you've made such poor choices in the past, Jen, and have permitted them to make you so bitter. What a shame that you've given others such control over your emotions and reactions. I hope that one day a real man comes into your life and enhances it. True. But I really had no warning with this last one until after I fell in love with him. Nobody would have suspected he was emotionally bankrupt, because his actions didn't reflect that until after he had my love. And yes, I have given him control over how I feel because I'm weak. I admit it. I'm not strong. I'm beaten down and broken.
slubberdegullion Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Jen, I appreciate the fact that you're going through a bad time right now. All of us have been there, in one form or another. (Gawd knows I have!) And it's perfectly rational to be on your guard. I'm just a little concerned that you're seeing all men through the lenses that were coloured by your previous experiences. I, for instance, don't hate you. I don't even know you, other than through the shimmering characters on my computer monitor. Who knows? Maybe if you and I met someday, we would develop an instant hate on for each other (I doubt it, but it's within the realm of possibility). Then again, we might feel differently, or maybe even feel nothing at all. My point - and I do have one, really! - is that you will eventually recognize that you're doing yourself and the good men around you a disservice by perceiving them with your mind already made up. Please try not to do that. There are lots of good men around. ok, I'll shaddap with the patronizing bulls*** now
soar eyes Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Jen, I have moments, very few I might add, when I feel the same way about men as you do. But the truth is they are here on this earth with us women and we have to learn how to reach a balance. I strive to do that everyday. It is so important. My exbf is a prime example. He is so unpredictable with some things but so predictable about others. Never met someone so complicated before. My question is why? The answer is: that is just who he is, point blank. If you ask him about me he would probably give you an earfull. I have met some men who are outstanding as people and are very easy to communicate with, and in touch with their feelings but there is some major personality flaw that sets the tone and limit to that relationship. I personally love men but I am not going,( for the life of me) to try to fight a losing battle to try and figure them out. He either likes me or not for who I am. Men don't have to figure me out. Its very simple you ask a question, I tell you an answer. There are risks when you choose to love man or woman. I would choose the risks of loving a man than loving a cat any day. NOTHING TAKES THE PLACE of being engulfed in a mans chest who loves you.
Becoming Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 JenJen, you crack me up with your wit, but it really does function as a defense mechanism like the wall around Sleeping Beauty with all the thorns, etc., that the prince had to climb in order to restore her with a kiss. LOL on that myth:rolleyes: Your walls and thorns and rapier wit demolish any good man who might come near. I say this as a recovering wallbuilder, not to condemn. Give yourself some time to heal. Have you posted what happened to you and I missed it? How long ago? Have you let anyone in to help you heal? Or are you like the guy in Monty Python's Holy Grail who's safe behind castle walls throwing out dead chickens at everyone who approaches? Hilarious in the movies, but not real helpful in real life for attracting anyone but scavengers so hungry for any woman that they see rotting dead chickens as a love token. I don't think you want this type in your life, yet this is what you'll attract if you're not careful. OK I've probably overstepped my bounds. Sorry. OHMIGOSH! I left my kitty out. Gotta run. . . .
witabix Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I don't hate men. They hate me. Awww jen_jen, I don't hate you! Not even a teeny bit. .......... but when the cat is staring meditatively at you, it's not thinking "Love of my life, light of my soul...how I adore thee!" It's thinking "there's quite a bit of crap building up in my litter tray. Go and clean it out, peasant....and after that I may deign to eat some raw fillet steak." My cat was JUST like that. Here's the similarity twixt the wonderful felines and us less than wonderful men..... (Plagiarist's apologies to lindya) but when the (cat) guy is staring meditatively at you, it may (not) be thinking "Love of my life, light of my soul...how I adore thee!" It's thinking "there's quite a bit of crap building up in my (litter tray) laundry bin. Go and clean it out, peasant....and after that I may deign to eat (some raw fillet steak) you!." And Becoming, I agree totally with what you said about reconstructing gender roles. I think it has been a major influence in societal upheavels in the last two generations, and these upheavels will only get worse, until we finally accept that the world, and the world of interpersonal relationships, has changed forever. No longer are the men the sole hunters, nor the women the sole nurterers. We are, as I have said before on this forum, realising that we are now becoming (no pun intended) equal. Emancipation brings a certain amount of responsiblity to realise our new positions in the galaxy of stars that make up the human race. We will never be the same, god forbid, but I hope we can all move towards the ultimate goal of mutual understanding and respect, and celebrate the differences in the genders (including gay and lesbian). Vive la difference! 1
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 NOTHING TAKES THE PLACE of being engulfed in a mans chest who loves you. Great. I just started crying again. Back to my bed I go.
lindya Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Great. I just started crying again. Back to my bed I go. You're just feeling incredibly raw at the moment. Love can be such a transient thing, but getting through this will leave you better equipped to handle it next time, more able to judge who is really worthy of your finest feelings and in a better position to make it last. Just take care of yourself for now, and don't let other people's ideas and ideals of romance get you down.
Pyro Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 once we start to show our feelings and emotions too much then women label us as "weak" and "defective" and "effeminate" This is not true. If you want some one-night fling with some piece of trash, then the above is true, but for a relationship to last, one must be open with their S.O. and expose one's feelings and emotions. 1
Curmudgeon Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 you can take back ownership of yourself. It may just take some time however. For your sake, I hope it's soon. One way to look at it is this. If he was emotionally bankrupt, isn't it a blessing you know now and haven't wasted any more time on him?
soar eyes Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Great. I just started crying again. Back to my bed I go. Girl, I know it hurts but the truth hurts time and time again when love goes wrong. Especially when warm memories flood your thoughts. It hurts like mmmmm. I'm still cryin at times and I am in a situation that, I'm sure anyone would have moved on after 3 years. I'm not the average person though. Cryin is good sometimes, but it only lasts for a moment, then you have to muster everything up and try to go on. If it helps, I still haven't been smothered in a warm chest of a man who loves me in years. I miss it, but I put that aside about 1 year ago when I realized I had it many times before and It will happen again. It will happen for you too Jen, it takes time.
soar eyes Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 One way to look at it is this. If he was emotionally bankrupt, isn't it a blessing you know now and haven't wasted any more time on him? Curmudgeon Emotionally bankrupt. You see when you put it like that, it makes me feel like It isn't wrong to have emotions. There are so many men who won't allow a woman to express her emotions. They run, they hang the phone up, they would rather break a relationship up before they swallow that pill. When a womans emotions get beat down to a pulp by the man she loves, that is a very dark place for her. I can't even compare it with something men might feel equally affected by.
honeybunch2k5 Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 I don't hate men. They hate me. Sometimes I feel the same way. They just don't appreciate me. Women do not understand men because they do not allow themselves to be vulnerable and express their feelings. It's hard to understand someone who runs away when things get too serious.
cal gal Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Women don't generally understand mwn. I can't figure out why because they tend to be so much simpler to understand than women. I had the opportunity of growing up with four brothers and four sisters. Men are easy - Make them feel wanted, that they are important and amazing. They want to feel appreciated and loved and taken care of. Most want to please the woman they are with. Other than that they love to be f@cked, fed, and have a good night of sleep. How hard is that compared to the drama that most women bring on?
lindya Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 Women don't generally understand mwn. I can't figure out why because they tend to be so much simpler to understand than women. I had the opportunity of growing up with four brothers and four sisters. Men are easy - Make them feel wanted, that they are important and amazing. They want to feel appreciated and loved and taken care of. Most want to please the woman they are with. Other than that they love to be f@cked, fed, and have a good night of sleep. How hard is that compared to the drama that most women bring on? I don't think most men can be simply defined as the happy, chomping, shagging animals you seem to be categorising them as - much as some of them like to fall into the comfort zone of that stereotype from time to time. No more than women are the collection of disruptive histrionics you seem to be labelling most of us as (and, by doing so, implicitly disassociating yourself from....) Your post seems to suggest that as long as a woman loves, feeds, waters, allows the beast a good night's sleep and avoids bringing any drama into his life...then everything will be peachy. Is it really that simple?
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