this girl

[Talmog]

Around two years ago I started dating this girl... if dating is the correct term... ill never know. Well by my standards I was young and inexperienced. Never dated, had some contact with girls but just as friends or casual aquainances. Well I was a junior and she was a senior. We had some contact because of her brother but it was during a boat trip during the summer that I realized i had a crush on her. Not knowing how to proceed I ended up emailing her a week before the homecomming dance. I told her I had a crush on her. Well she though it was sweet and asked me to homecomming (damn was i suprised) well we went and had an alright time. Well we went out a couple times to see a movie or shop (yea im a guy that doesnt mind shopping) and well I acted like a gentlemen (hell those were the movies I watched.. what did I know...) and nothing really happend. In fact we only went out like 5 times. At one point I didnt know what we were or where we were. I asked her about it and we talked. She pretty much agreed it was my fault and I tried to fix it.... hell neither of us could talk to each other without getting extremely shy or embarrased. Needless to say it went on like that. She did some things I think to make me jealous but wahat was I t odo. Well we were both on the track team near the end of the year. During practice shed hang with the girls or go off on runs with this one black dude (later i find out she talked to him about me and he and I went from hating each other to being best friends... but damn he sucked at advice I saved his relationship.. he helped make mine worse)... well one day the group of girls surouned me and talked to me about here and were gigglign and like awww... then at another meet someone mentioned to me that when I kicked ass in the 400 and 200 meter runs that she said "oh! we went to prom together!".... it was a good prom.. we danced and talekd and stuff... kind of (it sucked as a prom big time.. my senior prom was better)... well one long trip I decided I would do something. I was gonna kiss her.. it never happend. In my willingness to compete and win a medal I overdoes on caffene... a massive overdose. I was hyper and my emotions were unstable.. well my friend told me he didnt think the vibe was right... and I crashed. Not a very good next two days. Well I saw her at graduation and we said our goodbyes(she flew out that night).... and my senior year we kept in touch now and then and my confidnce and style got better and im a stronger person. Well this year weve been talking on aol almost nightly. I called her a couple times (and she knows I hate phones) and we talked a little. Well in our conversations I come to realize i still care for her very much. Well Ive dropped little hints.. and i think she has..... like lately she mentioned when we talk its a highpoint of her day, and that if she has problems she comes to me cuz i make her feel good. (we live about 8 hour s apart) after this summer I will have a car (right now i have a job with decent pay)..... what I really want is to know if she still feels the same way or if we could start a new relatioship... I'm willing to take a train on friday to go down and see her for the weekend and take the last train back on sundays.

 

I want to know how she feels... ask her by phone or somehting.. but i dont know.. and i dont want to ask and ruin what we have now. my friends are no help so here I am...