RZA-Man Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 This question is for the ladies: Have any of you gotten back together with a guy that you dumped because he was clingy/insecure?
My_Other_I Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I did. After a year of NC. Just to find out that nothing has changed. Needless to say we are no longer together.
Author RZA-Man Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 My_Other_I, what prompted you to come back?
My_Other_I Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 We bumped into each other by accident. The physical attraction was still there so we decided to catch up. He claimed he's changed (first red flag when you have to state that right away), but after few weeks I realized that nothing has changed. Nothing at all.
riobikini Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Answer: No. Couldn't stand the thought of me being the only 'backbone' of the relationship. Clinginess is a rather sissy quality and I like my men strong. Even Atlas held up the world on his own back. (Smile) -Rio
Art_Critic Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Clinginess is a rather sissy quality WORD ......
hooghie Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Answer: No. Couldn't stand the thought of me being the only 'backbone' of the relationship. Clinginess is a rather sissy quality and I like my men strong. Even Atlas held up the world on his own back. (Smile) -Rio I agree 100%.
My_Other_I Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I was going to defend myself for making the same mistake twice, but I just have to laugh at myself. There is a reason why I'm not with him anymore. Ops, defending myself anyway I love the Atlas statement, Rio.
riobikini Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 -and Atlas not only held up the world, -he did it n-a-k-e-d. (Smile) -Rio
Milo Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Yeah, there's this rather clingy guy making the rounds in my old circle of friends in the last town I lived in. He's a good looking guy, too. What possesses him to act this way is beyond me. One by one we hear about women he is interested in, and then proceed to turn off by calling them all of the time and other clingy things. He even once gave the so-called friendship test to one girl, as in "if I needed a friend and you wanted to go do ______ would you come over to my place instead?" She said she would drop by after she was done with _____. Wrong answer.
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Not a girl but speaking as a recovering clingy guy, I would say no. My ex thinks I idolize her. It takes a heck of a lot of changing (personal for you, not for her) to overcome that. Lots of working on self-esteem. I have never gotten back with a clingy girl, so I've been on both sides of the fence. I can't think of anyting worse than a clingy person. Nobody wants to be with someone who is needy.
Citizen Erased Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I was with a clingy guy for two stupid years. At the end of it, I felt emotionally drained cos he just took all of my energy and originality as a person and sucked me dry. I couldnt wear a skirt without talking him off a cliff. 'No I don't want anyone else, I just like skirts' PLEASE! What a lame ass way to argue! No, I havent gotten back with them, but I spent 2 years with one and I can barely think about it now without cringeing. I need a real man, but one who actual shows emotion, but not too much. I want to feel like the girl!
riobikini Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 RE: I couldnt wear a skirt without talking him off a cliff. 'No I don't want anyone else, I just like skirts' OMG!!! ROFLMAO!!!! -and can't get UP!!! Thank you for sharing that, -the laugh from the mental picture of it will carry me all through my day tomorrow! Ooops! -now I'm peeing on myself! -Rio
Author RZA-Man Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 HA! That's great stuff Unfortunately I would charecterize myself as a clingy guy, not so much at the beginning or middle or my past relationship, but definitely at the end. It's weird because the more she'd pull away the more I'd try to get close to her and that's just not a good way to conduct a relationship. Live and learn I guess
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 HA! That's great stuff Unfortunately I would charecterize myself as a clingy guy, not so much at the beginning or middle or my past relationship, but definitely at the end. It's weird because the more she'd pull away the more I'd try to get close to her and that's just not a good way to conduct a relationship. Live and learn I guess Remember that. That is why when someone pulls away from you the very best thing you can do is pull away yourself. They're testing you and 9 times out of 10 we'll fail the test by clinging to them for dear life. Very, very bad thing to do.
JayKay Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Clinginess is NOT attractive! These stories are funny...I can relate. I dated a clinger (or cling-on ?? ) for about a year-and-a-half, off and on. It was only because he was so good looking, I think. I'd date him 2 months, then break up with him, feeling emotionally exhausted and drained. He'd call EVERY DAY. If I didn't pay enough attention to him he'd want to 'analyze' the relationship and 'what are we doing?' and SHEESH. I barely knew him! Stupid me, after 2 months of NC I got back with him. I must have been lonely. A few months later, I'm miserable again. On...off. On...off. Even when we were off he'd try to call me, show up where I worked, in an effort to 'fix' the relationship. He actually got pretty stalker-ish towards the end. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. Never again!!!!
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