Brittanyjean06 Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 Im worried about something, i read some posts ( threads) that talk about their ex's years later- that they still have feelings for them- or there jealous of hearing something?? um will i ever get over my first love??? i dont see it possible if i here storys about peoples ex's like five years later... sorry im just worried...?
bluetuesday Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 getting over someone is partly to do with distance, partly to do with seeing them objectively and partly to do with filling the space with other things. it is also a decision. you can choose to hold onto emotional thoughts and feelings - or you can let them go and replace the space with unemotional reflection on what might have been a good time in your life, even if it ended badly.
notmakingsense Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 I think that for most people, a small part of your heart holds on to feelings for all past loves. Your first love is always special because it was the first -- but you will eventually have love that is even more powerful. You *will* get over him. Trust me on that one. Just get out there and meet new friends. You'll run into a guy that will have you chuckling to yourself about how lucky you are you aren't still with the first one.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 22, 2006 Author Posted January 22, 2006 " feels relief" thank you, you are right though, it is up to me, and if i haven't gotten over him in two years than that will be a personal problem i will deal with two years from now lol thank you both!
brooke7777 Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 Hey Brit- I feel the same way sometimes. My first love was tough to get over, but nothing like this one and I think a small part of me will always have a soft spot for him. But this one I am worried about. I feel like if I have a small soft spot from my first love what kind of spot am I going to have for this one who I was madly in love with for twice the amount of time and thought I would spend the rest of my life with? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
slubberdegullion Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 it is also a decision. you can choose to hold onto emotional thoughts and feelings - or you can let them go and replace the space with unemotional reflection on what might have been a good time in your life, even if it ended badly. Bingo. Bluetuesday has it figured out. It's all about decisions! hands bluetuesday a cigar
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 brook- i know i haven't gotten over this first love experience that im going through, but you have!- they say each love is stronger than the last-- so your next love could be stronger- but it will take time of course- and they also say you will hold a soft spot for all your loves- just wait and see and be patient! i am
luvtoto Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Have you ever heard the song by Garth Brooks - 'Unanswered Prayers'?
Lonestar Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 It sucks, doesn't it? That nagging question of will the pain ever go away. I believe that it does with time and distance, but only you can make the choice to put the past where it belongs.
luvtoto Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Ya know, I never thought I was gonna get over my x-fiance. But, no matter now much I tried to hang on, time faded my feelings for him. I really didn't know how much I was over him, until I hooked up with him one night and my feelings just weren't there anymore. I still care about him and haven't forgot him and if he got married tomorrow it would quite honestly bother me a bit. But, I have no intentions of pursuing him anymore.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 Your right, time and defiently distance- its a good thing i haven't talked to him in 5 months, and him being with someone else will help me strive harder to get over him... time is essence, and it will help- i just dont feel like that now bc im in the mix of everything you know? but thanks, ima look up that song
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 im going to try to sum up that song the best i can..and you tell me if you think my summary is right.... He always wished for the one girl he used to love back in high school- even while being with his wife?( thats bad)....but than when he saw her...he realized she wasn't all he made out to be, and that ...that was than...and this is now...and hes grateful for the things he has... he loved his wife though?
luvtoto Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 My point with the song is that time has a way of changing things. Time will heal your wounds.
fomerlyniceguy Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Looking back over your life, a lot of people walk in and out of it. I once dated a woman much older than me, it ended and I was crushed. It had no chance of being but at the time I didn't see that. I just knew I hurt. Looking back now even though that was almost a decade ago I wonder about her, I wonder how things turned out for her. The difference now is prospective, I can think back about the people I haved loved, but something is different something that doesn't make me ache when I rerun those scenes in my head of our relationship. They make me smile, and I appreciate the fact that I had them in my life, yet wouldn't want to go back to them. I know that someday I will have those feelings for my wife, which I have to admit makes me a little sad now, but hopefully by then I will have a better prespective on it all. In the end most people won't want to forget completely, the just want to feel right again.
Delicaterose00 Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Girl I thought you were getting better!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will get over him I promise!!!!!!!!!!!! Its been 8 months for me but I do get better each month.. I do wish he would get out of my freaking head, but he will once I meet someone else to take my mind off him, why dont you do that? Your a very pretty girl, Im sure there are guys who want to date you, why dont you try that? Just think how your ex is getting on wiht his life, its so not fair if you dont get on with yours!! Like, who is he to make your life hell?? right?? Remember what I said.. just think of the the love youll have for the real one.. so much more than you ever thought.... and your still a teenager girl!!!!!!!!!!!! When you get to college, youll have guys all over you.. and I think your ganna break a few hearts.. lmao...
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 hahhaa hey girl! whats your email again, im about to delete both of mine, and make a new one... i just did a new thread lol you can read that!
Fr3AkAzOiD Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 You never forget your first true love. You may not think about that person for awhile but then something happens and they pop back into your head again. I'm at that point now. I have been feeling really reminiscent over the past week or so and have just been thinking about my childhood, teen and early 20 years and then it happened. I started thinking about "her". With the exception of bumping into her at a club and talking for all of 2 minutes 5 years ago I havn't seen her for 8 years. I realise she is just a ghost from my past and that that person, the person I fell in love with no longer exists as well as I have grown and changed and am no longer the same person I once was. I can honestly say I still love her and that I wish I knew how she was doing and hope she is doing alright. After we broke up she started hanging with a bad crowd and got HEAVY into drugs. I just hope she straitened herself out and is doing ok. I'm married now (3 months) and have been with my wife for the past 6 years. I'm in love with my wife and even if "she" came back and wanted to be with me, even though I still love her I know I would chose to stay with my wife because that is real and now, but I still can't chase this ghost from my past completly away. Since me and my wife had been dating for awhile I could see her and I growing old together. "She" on the other hand I could always see raiseing a family with. Don't exactly know what to make of those feelings. I consider her to be like a unicorn, very rare (redhead ) and impossible to capture. Sure you may corner a unicorn for a short time or jump on it's back and enjoy a wild ride but eventualy it will break free and excape. I'm in a really wierd position cause with the exception of this lingering feeling of where would I be if we were still together I am quite happy. She was so beautiful and innocent and warm and I was so young and nieeve and in love. I know I will never "get over her" like it's some kind of flu or something but I fully realise it just wasn't meant to be and I have put her memory in it's place and moved on. True love never dies but it doesn't have to control your life.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted January 24, 2006 Author Posted January 24, 2006 there are some people who say, you will always love your first love....but than there are people who say nono you will love greater.. its all so confusing im just going to have to live my life- and see it for my self
notmakingsense Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I consider her to be like a unicorn, very rare (redhead ) and impossible to capture. Sure you may corner a unicorn for a short time or jump on it's back and enjoy a wild ride but eventualy it will break free and excape. I love that quote -- that's exactly how I feel about my ex-girlfriend. I fell completely in love with her, yet -- it was a wonderful ride, but she was never meant to stay with me....
Fr3AkAzOiD Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I wouldn't say "greater love". Each one has been very different but equally strong for me. I have had 3 that I would call real love and not just teenage lust or puppy love. One I would explain as be playing the night in shining armor to try and save her from a bad future she was heading for. She is now 23 divorced, one abortion and a 7 year old daughter living in her parents trailer home. With "her" it was much more passonate and fiery and to be honest I knew from day one it wouldn't last forever and eventualy she would leave. I just didn't think she would burn me the way she did. Now it's mostly a "I hope she is living well." sort of thing. With my wife it is a very comfortable love. Like I'm with somone I have known my whole life and because of that we have almost become one person, finishing each others sentances and reading each others minds and junk. There was a line from Sex and the City that went something like "In the end you only want to be with the person that makes you laugh." or something to that affect. Thats the way I feel with my wife and we just make each other into better people because we are together. I want to be a better person because of her and I have always been a kinda selfish person so the way my wife just makes me want to give to her/us without the thought of anything in return shows me i'm with the right person. It may take time but your pain will fade even if the scars never dissapear. They may remind you of your past but don't let your past haunt you. You will find somone that is right for you, your still young and have all the time in the world.
Delicaterose00 Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Brit.. I know its confusing hun.. Listen. You might have love always for your first love.... but its not the same love you feel now. It will be a I will always care about what happens to you, want you to be happy, kind of deal. Not the so in love Ill run back to you any second you come back.... of course you hear stories of the high school sweethearts that met up strangely 30 years later and found out they did work out after all and blah blah blah.. but honey that majority of people move on and at your age, u dont understnad it, none of us did as teenagers... this will not be the most love you will ever feel.... lmao... I rememver saying.. that my first love... I would always love, and he would always be in my heart.. but you know what.. I see him now and I have nothing there..... I say Ill always love Mike, my recent ex I thought was the one.. and you know what.. it might always be hard for a while to think about him and whatever... but eventually I will be fine and will be able to see him if I have too, and hell be out of my mind every day, but not right now.. we are still loving them because they were the last love we felt... but the next love we feel will be better or just the same.... if it is not equal or more than your last love, then its not meant to be. Its like having a family dog ya know.. ya get a puppy, 3 years later he gets run over.... you grieve.. youll miss that lil dog and youll look at their toys and food and miss them and guess what.. you get another dog.. though it does not replace the old... you have a new found love and it makes you just as happy if not more..... see what I mean?? But you get over it... and your fine... now.. if that puppy runs off with another owner, ok, your jelous.. your upset.. but same thing... LMAO.... you find another pup who loves you, and wont run away... and honors you like you shoudl be and there for.. thats when you know you found the right one.. I know this sounds funny but its something to think aobut...
Fr3AkAzOiD Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 now.. if that puppy runs off with another owner, ok, your jelous.. your upset.. but same thing... LMAO.... you find another pup who loves you, and wont run away... and honors you like you shoudl be and there for.. Are you calling men dogs? ;P
dnm1010 Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 it gets a lot better with time... and experience. i think back at the first boy i thought i loved and how much pain i went through and now i dont even know why i thought i loved him and i dotn even think i really loved him or knew what love is...
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