Newbie1234 Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 I am so happy to come across this forum...its so helpful to know that we are all in the same boat. I dated my ex for 10 months. It was always long-distance because we live in different cities but we saw each other for a weekend every month. I truly loved him but when I spent 10 days with him recently, I got the feeling that he didnt reciprocate my feelings. There was an imabalance. I hinted at breaking up and we finally did it over the phone 2 weeks ago. First he said he was holding back because this was not the right time for a relationship in his life and that I deserved someone who could give me what I was giving them. A few days later he came up with more reasons - we were too different, i didn't see us together long term, etc. This was a guy who'd call me 4-5 times a day. I was with him through many life-changing decisions and cannot understand how he could have been with me for so long if he just didn't love me. Now we talk every 2-3 days on the phone. Usually its me who calls but i can hear in his voice that he's happy to hear from me, just too proud to take the first step. Someone please help me understand this? Will he come around? Or is it over? If he didn't love me when we were together, he'll probably never love me, right?
salmagundi Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 well, while you are waiting for someone else to give you a better answer I would say that insofar as he dumped you, you should maybe back off on the phone calls a bit. I'm sure he is happy to hear from you if he still cares about you and I'm sure he does. But he wont come back until he himself decides to do, and I dont think anything in these phone conversations will bring him any more quickly to that decision. However, if he feels you drifting off, and feels like you are starting to figure its really over (like it very well may be, you will have to face that possibility) and are moving on, that might spur him to action IF he regrets or doubts his decision. If he doesnt, well, no point in calling unless you like living in false hope (I do... ). bon chance, salmagundi
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