jennxh Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 I found out 3 months ago that my husband is cheating on me. I found his saved text messages to a girl he works with. It was very specific and she is in love with him. It broke my heart. He says he is "torn" and does not know what to do. She thinks they are soulmates. How can I compete with that? I do have 3 of his children, but a soulmate???? I told him we need to seperate, but he has no where to live, so I let him stay here until he gets another job since he has no money to get a place on his own. Is it normal to be sad and jealous that he has found another person to love and yet he wont let go of me? He hates the idea of me going out and dating, but is not ready to give up the girlfriend either. He wants it all and holds double standards when it comes to me meeting anyone new. This is so hard on me. I just want to love and be loved equally. I just want simple family life with a man I can love with all my heart.
travellingman Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 She might be his soulmate, who knows? But whether she is or isn't, he needs to move out. Unless you live someplace like New York or San Francisco, there should be a safe place nearby he can rent a studio or 1 bedroom. You're making this harder for yourself by letting him hang around with his indecision.
Mistaken Identity Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I agree with travellingman. Your husband needs to move out. Once he is separated from you and his kids, it should be easier for him to come to a decision as to whom to choose. He can't have his cake and eat it too. You can take some comfort in knowing that his #@* girlfriend is probably really insecure in her position--read some of the posts by Other Women. And she may have said they were soulmates--but did he? That's a typical reaction when people first get together anyway. You really can't take it too seriously. Does she know he's married? I repeat, read some of the Other Woman posts to get another perspective. You'll realize you have more power than you thought. Good luck!
My_Other_I Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I agree with travellingman. Your husband needs to move out. Once he is separated from you and his kids, it should be easier for him to come to a decision as to whom to choose. He can't have his cake and eat it too. You can take some comfort in knowing that his #@* girlfriend is probably really insecure in her position--read some of the posts by Other Women. And she may have said they were soulmates--but did he? That's a typical reaction when people first get together anyway. You really can't take it too seriously. Does she know he's married? I repeat, read some of the Other Woman posts to get another perspective. You'll realize you have more power than you thought. Good luck! Oh wow. Nicely judgemental. What do you know about the gf? Are you walking in her shoes? I agree what they did/are doing is against the social standards of what's cosidered moral, but why do we have to call another human being names without knowing NOTHING about her? Guilty until proven innocent? To the OP: IMO there is no such thing as 'soulmates'. The girl is blindly in love and percieves it that way. How did you feel about your H when you first met him? Didn't you think that he was wonderful in every way, too? He is and will be torn for a while. It is like recovering from addiction. He doesn't have to move out if you don't want him to. If he is willing to give up the A and work on your M, if he is willing to be absolutely honest with you about everything you want to know, AND if YOU are willing to wait out the withrawals he will be going through, you have a chance of recovering. I am sorry you are going through what you are going through. Good luck with your decisions! MOI
My_Other_I Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Read the post by owl. Hope it helps! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=674527#post674527
Mistaken Identity Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I don't think a woman who messes around with a married man is innocent.
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