Ditherer Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 I've a friend who's just divorced and remarried, with 1 kid. His exW is a bit of a nutjob, and has remarried too.. some old bloke old enough to be her dad. Anyway, my wife still talks to my mate's exW.. they bumped into each other today. First my W asked if her new hubby was her Dad (hahaha).. then apparently she had a black eye.. and blamed it on my mate - who hardly ever sees her! Not even when their son is handed over, back and forth. My mate is one of the kindest pacifist veggies I know - there's NO WAY he'd have given her a black eye, and as I said, I don't think they ever meet - why would they after a bad divorce and she's remarried? She's mad - she's been shut away.. THAT mad! And we've heard from the son that the new marriage isn't going very well (after a month or so!). My money's on new Hubby having hit her, and she wasn't going to admit it to my W in front of him. Do I tell my friend? It's a serious allegation of criminal assault, *I'D* want to know.. but I'm not supposed to know.. my mate couldn't do anything without it being obvious where it's come from. If I told him he'd only get worried about it - who else might she tell? My W practically made me swear not to tell ... it's a minefield!! HELP!
seven Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 I say definitely tell your friend about the ex w's accusation against him. Like you said, who knows who else she is telling this to. And also, if her current husband gave her the black eye, that's not a situation your friend's son should be exposed to. How did the ex w explain the bruise to her son I wonder. And if by some chance it actually was your friend that hit her, he needs someone to get him some help. As far as your wife swearing you not to tell ... hmmmm. Maybe she'll get sooo pissed at you for telling that she'll leave you, which would, if I'm not mistaken per your other thread, alleviate you from making the final decision to stay or go. Maybe this is an opportunity ... two birds, one stone.
whichwayisup Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 Oh definately! Considering if they share a child! Your mate has a right to know that his exW could possibly be in an abusive situation, therefore putting their son in danger. Do it tomorrow as soon as you wake up.
Author Ditherer Posted January 22, 2006 Author Posted January 22, 2006 Thanks for replying, yes I did tell him (before even reading your replies, sorry about that! - didn't get to log in until tonight). See, I don't **ALWAYS** dither, LOL Yeah, when there's kids safety involved, that takes priority over all else. And I figured he's used to dealing with all kinds of silly crap from her, after all the divorce garbage he's been through, so it's probably no worse than all that. I let him know by text message, when The Wife wasn't looking. He dealt with it calmly - texted back saying he had proof it couldn't have been him. Then he later found out what really happened : it was the son who'd got a bit angry and lashed out out mummy (he's not even 8yrs old yet). I haven't had a chance to actually speak to my buddy yet, but it's good that's it's sorted. If she makes allegations to anyone else, no-one's likely to believe her. Could have got nasty if her new hubby had backed up her lies though.. what a tricky one that could have been. From what I've heard, it's more likely SHE would have battered her new hubby anyway... but let's hope not Cheers
lilmoma1973 Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Definitely you should tell your friend of his ex W allegations .. It will look bad if she is accusing him and it isn't true !! He could lose rights to his child if she tells the wrong one.. My bet it is the new h if your mate isn't in contact with her...
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Thanks for replying, yes I did tell him (before even reading your replies, sorry about that! - didn't get to log in until tonight). See, I don't **ALWAYS** dither, LOL Yeah, when there's kids safety involved, that takes priority over all else. And I figured he's used to dealing with all kinds of silly crap from her, after all the divorce garbage he's been through, so it's probably no worse than all that. I let him know by text message, when The Wife wasn't looking. He dealt with it calmly - texted back saying he had proof it couldn't have been him. Then he later found out what really happened : it was the son who'd got a bit angry and lashed out out mummy (he's not even 8yrs old yet). I haven't had a chance to actually speak to my buddy yet, but it's good that's it's sorted. If she makes allegations to anyone else, no-one's likely to believe her. Could have got nasty if her new hubby had backed up her lies though.. what a tricky one that could have been. From what I've heard, it's more likely SHE would have battered her new hubby anyway... but let's hope not Cheers Hope that it won't happen again and let's really hope that she's not using her "son" as a cover-up cuz he's young, and it really was the hubby. It's possible I guess...I'm sure now your friend will be keeping a closer eye on what's going on over there. Good too, that you dealt with this right away instead of waiting on us LSer's!
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