smile95 Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 I am on week 6 of NC. This is the longest I have ever gone. I actaully feel ok! Time does help so much. It is like as the weeks went on, I opened my eyes to what was REALLY going on. I see it clearly now that my emotions are not running so high. I figured out a few things about him. He does have NPD and that is something I can never change. One thing that helped was asking myself what is it about him that I will miss so much that another person cannot give me? I came up with nothing, which is good. I had built up this man to be great and really, he is not! I see it now. Just wanted to give hope to those in or starting NC. Give it time. I still have a long way to go, but as long as he stays away, I will be fine. Iused to wonder if he would call, and now I do not so much. I do not want him anymore. He cannot have ME. His pattern is to come back and I am excited to ignore him and show him that out rollercoaster ride is over! 1
Art_Critic Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 Congrats.. it gets easier from here on out... Keep up the healing
slubberdegullion Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 Excellent news, smile. This should be pinned, so all those who are beginning or in the middle of a difficult NC can read it and take heart.
CaliGuy Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 More people should read this thread. There is hope, indeed, it just takes time.
riobikini Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 To believe only one person is born with the ability to love you is like believing there is only one season. We steadily mature in the knowledge of love because our needs change and evolve within each new climate. (Smile) -Rio
pfeif216 Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 It's been 6 mos. for me and Im still thinking about my ex all the time....I do have to admit I feel a lot better than I did a couple of mos. ago but I just wish I could move on already.....when i drink a little i still have that urge to go by a bar he may be in or give him a call...i hope this goes away
wendel1 Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 it does take time...but it DOES get better.. four months for me..and I have thoughts of her most days..but I'm feeling OK about it now...im just missing the physical stuff now!..so its time to get out there
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I think of my ex every day but when I do I catch myself and say "She doesn't deserve to occupy any space in your mind. She's done and over with!" Then I try and replace thoughts of her with something else I like and poof, she's gone again. It's hard but yes, it does get better over time. And Wendel, if you have someone new in your life that you're attracted to, you'll find thoughts of the ex being replaced with thoughts of the new girl
riobikini Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 RE: CaliGuy: "if you have someone new in your life that you're attracted to, you'll find thoughts of the ex being replaced with thoughts of the new girl. " It's a hard fact of life that we can all be replaced. With other people, with other activities,, -and, sometimes, maybe, even objects. But come to think of it, if we've never been very lucky, and we wind up satisfactorily replacing the ex with an object, it only goes to show us an important realization about the relationship, anyway, doesn't it? (Smile) -Rio
CaliGuy Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 Everyone is replaceable, we just think they're not (until we find someone else, then we finally realize they are)
Author smile95 Posted January 24, 2006 Author Posted January 24, 2006 well the "finding someone else part" is so hard for me. I compare them to the ex and I hate it! i am trying to be ok alone.....for now anyway
notmakingsense Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 But come to think of it, if we've never been very lucky, and we wind up satisfactorily replacing the ex with an object, it only goes to show us an important realization about the relationship, anyway, doesn't it? LOL -- I'm going to remember this quote for a while!
CaliGuy Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 well the "finding someone else part" is so hard for me. I compare them to the ex and I hate it! i am trying to be ok alone.....for now anyway It's hard not to do that, but understand when you do that you are not giving them a fair shake, and you're putting the ex on a pedestle.
Recommended Posts