feistyfloridagirl Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 I've been with my MM for over 7 months now. During the holidays I went away to be up north with my family and he was devastated. He told me that he was leaving his house on 1/1, because he was done for good and couldn't take it anymore and he was ready to be with me and get the ball rolling with regards to a D. Well, he picked me up at the airport when I returned and has been staying with me ever since. Two nights ago we had a discussion and I asked him if he was sure of his decision...this time, he has left once before and then went back. He said that he can't look me in the eyes and tell me that he is 100% sure that he made the right decision. How the F**k am I supposed to continue to give my all to somebody who isn't 100% sure that they want to give their all to me? I'm so lost right now, it's not even funny. I am an extremely strong woman with a good head on my shoulders, but lately I have reached a breaking point and will be seeking a therapist to deal with everything. I don't want to lose him, but on the other hand I can't be with someone who isn't 100% (I will keep using that number, because it is definitive) sure that they want to be with me. He isn't home yet, but when he gets home, I'm really tempted to just tell him to get the hell out and go away and leave me alone.
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 He needs time to be alone and sort things out. I don't mean to sound harsh, but how can anybody jump out of a marriage, a life all they've really known and then head straight into another place, another relationship. He's confused and unsure of what he feels and wants. People need time to grieve and deal with loss. Even if his marriage was shakey and he was going to leave. Maybe suggest to him that he finds a place of his own. If you two really want this to work, then date. Don't live together so fast. Just incase he changes his mind and you won't be so devastated if he moves back home. OR...Tell him it's over and do talk to your therapist. No matter what, the choice here won't be easy! Good luck.
Author feistyfloridagirl Posted January 21, 2006 Author Posted January 21, 2006 That is exactly what I discussed with him last night. I told him that not only do I need to speak to a therapist but he does too, he has an appointment for early next week. I also said that what we are doing isn't healthy and that he does need time to sort things out for himself. He agreed. He will be leaving soon and will go stay with a family friend. This will be the best for all involved. And if we truly are meant to be together, it will work itself out. If not, then I will deal with it, I've dealt with heartbreak before and it isn't fun nor easy, but I will deal with it. Thanks for your advice.
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 You're welcome and I do hope you both find happiness at some point. Time is on your side here, so just enjoy the time you two spend together and try not to worry about the rest. Things will fall into place as it should, meaning if it's meant to work out, it will!
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