meltwithme Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 Hmm I'm in a really good mood (after a hardcore workout... this really helps) and I'm starting to realize I guess it may have been better that my first love left because she thought the grass was greener. Atleast it takes alot of the self blame off my mind. I did absolutely nothing but try to treat her right and love her (maybe a little too much?) and she just decided to leave anyway because things got a little boring. Long story short: she asked for a 'break' because I became totally jealous by asking her if she was seeing someone else. Well it's starting to hit me that she actually was (don't know how far), but I couldn't beleive she would lie to me about that or see the signs b.c I was so deep in love and my emotions wouldn't let me see clearly. Some days I still feel like I love her, some days I hate ...not her but what she put me through. Some days I couldnt give a damn about her, I want more of thoose days but they seem to be few and far in-between. Now my hope may be talking again but today I thought this: No relationships last forever, so her's will end to and then she might realize that she had a great thing. Even %50+ of marriage end. I guess what I'm saying is if you got left for someone else it's OK, yeah it's a bigtime rejection and it's gonna hurt but another girl or guy will see your value, and when the romance of the ex's relationship wears off, even they might realize what they threw away. At first I wanted nothing other than my ex back, I know I still have a bigtime softspot for her but she burnt that spot really bad. today I'm not sure if I could take her back, I already had some insecurity/trust problems from a past girlfriend. Well I rambled but I think when a person gets the need to hop fences there is nothing you did or can do. If a farmer had his crop burnt he would go back out and start planting new seeds because that's his life, go out and take yours back and start fresh with yourself. Lock the ex out of your feild with some barb wire, and padlocks, scarecrows and anything else you can find. If they change heart and want your crop again, then only you have the power to decide if you want to risk growing with them again.
Neptune Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 When one door is closed another opens. But it may take some time. Here at LS I tend to sort of focus on some theme in particular in my posts. Right now it is definitely the concept that it is good to have patience in seeking a relationship. The mind completes the picture. Give the picture time to form and things will happen. The subconcious mind is working on problems as we go about our day and even as we sleep. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. It is good to close the mind of the past relationship. There is something I don`t understand at work also and it seems a sort of energy at work that makes things happen beyond explaination. For example, several months ago after breaking up I recieved calls from girlfriends as far back as 27 years ago out of the blue. Mystical.
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