engravefeelthevoid Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Hey guys!!wsup!! I got this amazing idea that will be of great help to everyone ok here it is.. this thread is for guys/girls who need a push in finding their soul mate, males and females who already have partners are to share their stories of how their partner got them to love him/her. By posting your stories, you are inturn giving resolutions and ideas from a successful experience that may later be used by other people to overcome their hard times!!! Feel free to share!!!!
Tangerina Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I fell in love with him naturally, over time, we just spent a lot of time together and continued to want to spend more time together and bonded and it grew... We met in the summer and he fell for me quicker than I fell for him b/c he had been single and dating for 2 years whereas I was still getting over a breakup from an LTR.... Although it happened gradually, the first time that I began to feel love for him was around the time of my B-day... he invited me over for a tea party at his neighbor's house... we went and got tea there and went back to his house and it turned out it was a surprise B-day party! He had baked me a cake in the shape of a Rickenbacker guitar (which is the kind I play and the kind I love) and had gone to the library and checked out "My Father's Dragon", which is a book we had talked about both loving as kids.... Actually, my avatar and screen name are from that book!! That was the first time I felt in love with him... not because he gave me things, but because the things he gave me showed me that he payed attention to me and thought about what the best thing he could do to make me happy and give me a special day was... I really think it was the first time I felt love for him....
Becoming Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 That's a great story, Tangerina. And so true what you said: That was the first time I felt in love with him... not because he gave me things, but because the things he gave me showed me that he payed attention to me I liked spending time with my husband, the way he treated me, what he stands for, who he is. He wrote me a song. One day for no reason other than that I didn't feel too great, he went out and bought me daisie-like mums (daisies are my favs) and a book of poetry by a poet he knew I liked. Singing to me in a coffeehouse in front of everyone. (but I loved it). Then one day I was doing laundry with him, and I thought, "You know, I don't care what we do together as long as we're together. Even doing laundry with this guy is good." That's when I knew he was the one. How romantic is that? There have been other times he has completely wowed me--showing up in a tux with lobster for dinner (love lobster), presenting me with a victrola (which I've always wanted), other meaningful antiques, or just watermelon candy. The trick is what's meaningful to her/him. Find that out, do it, treat one another with respect, care, love, communicate the truth as you see it and accept theirs and negotiate for common ground and you've set the stage for love to creep right in and abide.
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted January 21, 2006 Author Posted January 21, 2006 I loved this quote, like it doesn't matter what the face value of the gift is, as long as it comes from your heart, this shows the care for what's meaningful to your partner. any more stories are welcomed
JayKay Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 My BF was just himself; we dated long-distance for a year, but before we dated we were just online friends. He wrote me almost every day. His emails were funny, thoughtful, quirky and unique. I think I fell in love with his sense of humour first. It's not like he had to try and 'make' me love him, I was just naturally attracted to his smarts and funny outlook on life. After we started dating, I started to realize I could really get serious about this guy. He did some nutty things too, that were really romantic! One Monday night he drove to my house (I was living in NY at the time) while there was a snowstorm. It took him close to 6 hours to get to my house! When I got home from work that night, he was there and had already cleared my driveway of all the snow! He said he just wanted to 'drop in' and make sure I was OK and that my driveway was cleared. What a nut! The craziest thing of it was that he had to be at work (in PA!) at 9 AM the next morning, which meant he had to leave my house at about 3 in the morning... I think that's when I knew for sure
Curmudgeon Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 We began as work place friends and coworkers. Over time I came to respect and admire her for her honesty, abilities and professionalism. We also began to enhance one another professionally, combiningour strengths and filling in the gaps in one another's weaknesses. More than that, we also became friends ~~ a friendship that grew to be innocently intimate as we talked of family matters. When, three years after meeting, I entered into divorce from the ex (she had an affair and left), my friend was thered for me and provided much needed advice and emotional support. Two years later I finally asked her out (my first post-divorce date) and the rest is history. We fell in love that day (trip to the beach), married two months later and are still going strong almost 10 years later. We discovered that we also enhanced one another personally and she's still my best friend.
lindya Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Times I've fallen for someone, it has always started out on a very friendly, casual basis, and the emphasis was on fun. When the date's over you have that warm, excitedly happy feeling. When you sense that someone "sees" you, I think that's very attractive. The only way you can really see someone is, of course, to be interested enough to take a close look. When men on the board talk about not constantly giving women compliments, there's something in that - but it's about being honest and clear-sighted rather than playing games. Ideally, the man will be showing you that he's perceptive and interested rather than just being a suck up. If you get a sense that he's a realist who is aware of your flaws as well as your good points - and, taking both into account, still finds you very appealing then I think that's a good foundation. You don't want someone who places you high up on a pedestal from the off, because sooner or later he's just going to get disappointed. So broadly, if the person seems to be level-headed and his spectacles are only slightly rose-tinted (after all, if they're not at all rose-tinted at the start that could indicate total absence of any romance in his soul...). that's infinitely more flattering, attractive and interesting than someone who is just shovelling on compliments and flattery rather than taking the time to get to know who you really are.
Becoming Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 It's not like he had to try and 'make' me love him, I was just naturally attracted to his smarts and funny outlook on life. After I started thinking about it, nothing "makes" you fall in love except you. Love is a choice that we often subconsciously make. Whether we're making that choice based on what the other does for us, which often ceases once they have us, or on the person's character, I think, is more worthy of consideration. Doing should come forth from being. If a person's words and actions cohere, I'm more attracted to that person as being "true." This isn't about en-thralling (="enslaving") people so that we hold them in our possession. It's about attraction, which is a mysterious combination of several factors, including what felt good from childhood and what we're hoping to get that was deficient from childhood, pheromones, who completes us, etc.
quankanne Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 something about the way he carried himself and interacted with others, I thought he was the epitome of Southern Gentleman. And I realized that despite some of his rougher edges, deep down he was a good man ....
Lucasarts Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 hmm teenie bopper love? lets see, i met my first g/f making paper mache masks, and slathering white goo and newspaper all over each other. my second g/f was a study buddy who was ironically in all of my classes and we got to know each other in more ways then one. my third g/f was a friend of a friend, whom i met at a party, and i found her to be absolutely gorgeous and pursued her til the very end. my current g/f is also a co-worker at the place i work, we hit it off well during a christmas party and ever since...its been smooth sailing. i basically broke up with my ex's because they were lacking something...one didnt have much of a sense of humor, another drank too much constantly and it became annoying and beyond controllable. tho my first g/f i adored but she moved away and LDR's never work so...yeah my current g/f is great, she has her flaws (being sheltered and all, but still a cool and humorous person) but shes pretty and incredibly sweet. Talking to her is something i look forward to, and i cant stop thinking about her...its interesting because i still appreciate the beauty of other girls/women but i cant stop thinking about this one... i cant say its love or lust, its a cloudy mess right now, but right now its a good mess and i like it.
Citizen Erased Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 I met my current boyfriend when I was already attached (2 year pointless relationship). I was actually last year at school (haha young lobe i guess!) I noticed he was looking at me laughing and just talking with all of my friends, just having a good time, as you do at school lol. He was just so cute sitting there smiling at me, then my ex (I was still with him) noticed that I was 'eye flirting' with someone else and got really jealous. I was so turned off my ex at that point, he was too controlling and just well, annoying. The attraction between me and my current b/f was so real and intense. It was that day though, for both of us, just sitting around with friends having a good time. We both were in love from then on. I had a messy breakup with my ex, I didnt cheat on him though cos noone deserves that. I let him down as easy as possible (he still doesnt talk to me though, no big loss) and I have been my my current b/f for a year and four months next tuesday (also his birthday!) I honestly dont know where I would be right now though without him, hes the sweetest guy and I love him to bits! I moving in with him in 2 weeks so Yay! I'm happy! P.s Lucasarts you are so sweet! I read your post and just went 'Awww...' when I read: shes pretty and incredibly sweet. Talking to her is something i look forward to, and i cant stop thinking about her...its interesting because i still appreciate the beauty of other girls/women but i cant stop thinking about this one...
Curmudgeon Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 that of all the single women at work at or near my age, my wife was about the only one who didn't try to come onto me when the news that I was getting a divorce went around. Some of the others were so obviously hungry they were scary. Thankfully, my wife had promoted to another agency. If we'd still worked together I'd have never asked her out, nor would she have accepted. Come to think of it, she's one woman I never flirted with in the slightest either. Guess we were just made for one another.
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted January 24, 2006 Author Posted January 24, 2006 I had been taking a break from a past relationship, it had been about six months of experiencing some bachelorism, I'm sixteen so naurally my parents would send me to a volunteer work somewhere during the summer break, in such case a nearby nursery that had a summer-camp for little ones, I started my first day when i suddenly bumped into a girl co-worker, she was like 10/10, hot and sexy, but I tried to stop myself from making any move that shows I'm attracted, but I wasn't thinking though as she gave me a shock! right when "hey.. how you doin!" came out, i think that was when i unintentionally showed her i was interested, flirts started to come from her more and more everyday, she even started to come to my section pretending to be looking for a kid, one day she asked me for a kid i told her he's in her class how could she be making such a mistake! and as the flirts increased, I started to love her anyways, I couldn't stop myself, so I asked her out one day with the whole group but no one would go exept me and her, when i told her well.. it's a date then, and we stayed together unfortunately for about two months only since she started playing games with me, showing she was mad and angry at me, I guess i was too sensetive I admit, I noticed we started to feel like strangers from eachother ever since, and one day my friend told to be honest with her which i was, we separated for about 3 days, then she called me back, saying she wants to talk about it, and now we're like best friends again.
dnm1010 Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 we were best friends...he MADE me love him!!! i dont know what he did specifically he was just himself and i was myself and he was so irresistable that i was head over heels! i even tried denying it.. i said no for a few months!! but eventually i gave in cos i knew i loved him too much.
noclobber Posted January 25, 2006 Posted January 25, 2006 we were best friends...he MADE me love him!!! i dont know what he did specifically he was just himself and i was myself and he was so irresistable that i was head over heels! i even tried denying it.. i said no for a few months!! but eventually i gave in cos i knew i loved him too much. i find this very interesting b'cos of two things: 1) i always thought that once you start as friends you can never become anything more than that 2) you said "no" to him and then fell for him! i always believed that once a woman says "no" thats it.. its a "no" for the rest of this lifetime can you please expound on your case? i am really curious.
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted January 26, 2006 Author Posted January 26, 2006 why? I once had a girl who was a friend, we became more than that quickly, thanx to this site, i knew that i should first show am intrested without saying a thing, sending flowers and notes in class from an unknown heart burglar!!
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