snailz Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I know people here probebly wont want to help me because im doing the wrong thing... My best friend was with her boyfriend for 2yrs, it was never serious and when they split up in december he started txting and ringing me, we had always had a spark in the past but i wouldnt do anything about it because of my friend. after a few days, i was stupid and went out on a date with him, things just went from there, i cant tell my friend because she will hate me, ive tried to break it off with him but he says he will tell her about us- says it like a joke way but im worried he will. Is there anyway i can end this without her finding out and keeping the peace with him?
Moose Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 They, "split", up....what's the problem? It's none of your girlfriend's beez wax if you do want to go out with him....ask yourself, what kind of a friend is she that she wouldn't want you feel at ease dating someone you like?
movinon05 Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 This same exact thing happened to me with my girlfriend I was sharing an apartment with in the city after college over 20 years ago. Her boyfriend (who I just considered a friend and nothing more) broke up with her and she was devastated and trying to get back with him. Right after that, he started pursuing me and totally shocked me. I felt terrible because I started having feelings for him. He insisted it was over with her and as hard as it was, I went along with him. The upshot... We got married and I lost a friend. It wasn't til many years later and she was married that she got in touch with me and told me she forgave me. We started becoming friends again. I'm divorced now after 17 years) and my friend and I lost touch again. The only difference between my situation and yours is that my girlfriend was still in love with him and we really should not have let things happen so quickly the way they did, and I had never pursued him or even thought about it. I always regretted the whole thing. It was not fun! But I justified it because we did end up getting married. If your girlfriend is done with him then she should not mind too much although it might be weird. I do not think its very funny that he threatens to tell her. That's immature and would really make me wonder about him. He's upsetting you in an already upsetting situation. Do you really want that? That's a sign in and of itself. Think very carefully what you stand to lose if you continue to pursue this relationship.
Author snailz Posted January 24, 2006 Author Posted January 24, 2006 Thankyou for the replies, i have had some time to think things over, i decided the best thing to do was end it with him until she had time to get over him, then if me and him still felt the same a couple of months down the line, maybe we could make a proper go of it, i was hoping by then my friend would have moved on and found someone else. When i ended it with him, just out of spite because i "hurt him", he went straight back to her and has been having sex with her again, i asked why he would do this and he said because he knows she will tell me about it the next day and he wants me to feel bad because he feels bad. He says he loves me and really cant stand to be around her,its not looking this way from where im standing?
AJS Posted January 24, 2006 Posted January 24, 2006 He can't stand to be around her but he slept with her? Oh please, this guy is a major manipulator! He sounds like bad news girlfriend! Why would you even think about being with a man who plays these games with 2 women? He's a user if he can do this to YOUR FRIEND. Is she a good friend? Why do her this way? You should be trying to get her away from this creep instead of being with him. Keep the friend, lose the guy.
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