movinon05 Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Hi everyone. I’m new to this board. My first time doing this. And I’d like to get some advice from anyone who has a thought about this. I’m 45 years old and its strange that I have to even be asking this at this point, but it is what it is! I’ve been seeing a guy for almost 4 months now and our relationship has advanced to where we are both starting to feel love for each other. My problem is this. Kissing! Our kisses are lacking that intimate or “love” type feeling. They started out quick and lustful because we are really into each other sexually. But that’s the way they remain. I want to explore these new feelings we have for each other through our kisses. Not just shove your tongue down your throat type kisses. You know when you have those soft, subtle, exploring kisses? I realize we’re not that in love yet completely, but I want to know if we can have these more sensual kisses and I don’t know how to approach him on it without insulting him or anything. I did try a month ago and asked him to just kiss me, and it was okay. He said that was fun! But its not quite what I was looking for. Sometimes I just need to feel the love or emotions through kissing. I find it hard to believe that he has never done that type of kissing before if he is in love! Then again, I don’t think you have to be in love to have those types of kisses either. Does anyone have any suggestions?
slubberdegullion Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I originally wrote this for guys, but you may find it worthwhile: The Art of the Kiss.
barfool Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Have you ever initiated the kiss and taken the role of dictating the style? Usually men take the lead when kissing, but you should try kissing him and take the lead so that he can follow. Try first as you are going in to gently caress his face so that he gets the idea that it is not a tongue-probe type kiss.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Teach through example, is my best guess on how to approach it. Don't ask or discuss this - just tell him you want to try something new - ask him to close his eyes and not move or grab at you, or try to kiss you back. Then straddle him (or sit next to him if you prefer) and kiss him like you want to be kissed. If he tries the old 'tongue down the throat' thing, then pull back gently and put a finger on his lips and say 'ah ah... not yet' and go back to kissing him like you prefer to be kissed until he gets the picture and returns in kind. Kiss his neck, his face, his closed eyes, his ears, etc. Keep the tongue thing to a minimum if you are more comfortable with that and if he tries - just go back to the teasing 'not yet, dear' thing with a finger on his lips. Make it a 'tease' and not a 'request' and you'll likely have better luck. This will likely drive him wild, but gently keep him in place while kissing him and see where it takes you. Don't be surprised if it makes him even more 'lustful' but with kissing like that, a guy can't be blamed. I'm sure he'll enjoy it. Nothing wrong with light, sensual kisses. Later, be sure to tell him how much you enjoyed it and that you love to kiss like that. Hopefully he'll get that hint! If he knows you like it, then perhaps he'll try more variations on the kissing. You may have to do this a few times, but try it and see if he gets the idea. It could be that the way he is kissing is emotional for him, since men tend to show love and affection through more physical means - but nothing says you can't throw some of your idea of affection into the mix to have more varied kissing types.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Communication is the key to an relationship ,and we aren't mind readers so you will have to tell your partner, what you like and dislike and he will know what kinds of kisses to give you.. Good luck
Gold Pile Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 When I was just a young pile, the girl I was dating took control of our kissing. Whenever I started to take the lead, she pulled away ans said "I'm kissing you" making it clear I should just let her do it her way.
Author movinon05 Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 All good suggestions. I guess because of the way our relationship started - which was mainly sexual - that now that our feelings are elevated - we're not sure where to go with it. At least I'm not. He doesn't seem to be extremely romantic. And I did try to get him to just kiss me. Its just a matter of taming this beast we started out as. I'll give it a go again. Thanks for all your suggestions.
Outcast Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Not all men are good kissers. I've run into some terrible ones. A lot of guys seem to think that it's not necessary to learn anything about making love - that it just comes 'naturally'. So yes, this guy needs a tutor. It's not about him not feeling romantic. It's just that he's unskilled.
witabix Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Not all men are good kissers. I've run into some terrible ones. A lot of guys seem to think that it's not necessary to learn anything about making love - that it just comes 'naturally'. So yes, this guy needs a tutor. It's not about him not feeling romantic. It's just that he's unskilled. Yes Outcast, I've had this conversation with quite a few women, some guys they say are horrible kissers. I have met only one or two women who's kiss was so bad as to be memorable. One woman almost sucked my tongue out of my head! I mean I would go home and have to put my tongue in a sling!! The other had a mouth like a beartrap. To the OP, show him what you want by kissing him the way you want to be kissed. I think this has been said.
slubberdegullion Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 One woman almost sucked my tongue out of my head! Got her number handy?
witabix Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Her name was Anne! Call her on 555 "Suckmytonsilsout" She was a swimmer, muscular, you wouldn't like her! NOT! Sorry Slub!
Art_Critic Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Not all men are good kissers. a neither are all women.. Although I have only fought swords with one of them.. It was like a hard dart that didn't move... ughhhh She needed pratice with her pillow when she was younger ughhhhh
Art_Critic Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I wouldn't know I guess between the 2 of us we cover both sides
witabix Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I am prepared to carry out a survey! If you want. It'll be hard, well most of the time, but I'll grin and bare it!
Outcast Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 but I'll grin and bare it! So what, again, will you be asking people to kiss?
Author movinon05 Posted January 21, 2006 Author Posted January 21, 2006 I finally got a chance to look at your "The Art of The Kiss". Well said. I wish I could show it to him! Your life experiences have taught you alot!! lol!
agnf666 Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 "The Art of the Kiss"... hmmm I wish I would have read that about a 2 weeks ago when I found out something that really embarrassed me... When your best friend tells you that your boyfriend says you use to much tongue and he has to teach you not to... That can make things really wierd in your relationship... This is why I hate alcohol sometimes... I have been dubbed the name "Gene Simmons"...
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