lostintheATL Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I have a big problem with trusting women. I am a 25yo guy that has always (since high school) cheated on girls to prevent them cheating on me first. Maybe there was one that cheated on me FIRST...then again this was in the 8th grade so I hope it isn't pertinent. I feel great in relationships and thrive more as a person when I steady with someone. Problem is I eventually get someone else on the side and I end up having sex with that new girl. First it was B and B, then J and some random I don't remembers, then J and New Orleans girls, then I and J, I and B, since then S, S, A, K and still B while I am still dating I. Last night I had a dream that just made me feel if I lost I, well I'd be heart-broken. I know I like to have a girl in love with me and I like to play the game of being in "love". Sucks for that girl though. So now I am here in between two girls again wanting nothing more than a career and no more drama. But I dunno maybe this is the way I exist, or am I just seriously messed up in the head. Oh well, my folks are Jehovah's Witneses and I got kicked out of their church at 16 for (suprise!) premarital sex. Anyone that has any advice would be great. Sitting in here bottled up isn't helping. This is my first attempt at talking about this. Below is the dream so if you know anything about dissecting them, it'd be much appreciated: It may have something before then but now that I remember it was some type of jehovah's witness function. There was a special speaker (either gorbachev or someone else, gorbie seems to be arecurring episode in my dreams). So I am walking around with my hat with the US flag on it. I remember I had a lot of clothing with me and none of it was in one place. There has to be a group of men to assist the speaker out who now appears to have difficulty walking. They bang the door open with his feet and take him out the side door on the stage. I am sitting with Isabel and the scene as become more of a large football arena type thing. I get a call and it is jennifer. I pick up and I give her one word answers until I am able to get her off the phone. I see Isabel is ready to go, but she is leaving with out me. I tell her I will walk her to her car and she walks off. As I am gathering all of my stuff I notice that she stops for a second and is actually waiting for me. I have a great importance vested in getting all my stuff together, shoes, 4 jackets, alot of ****. I look back and she is no longer there. I leave somehow, and next i am at some type of soccer field and she is on the bleachers. I get close to her and sit as she observes these for guys in front of us, not 5 feet away. Perhaps 5 of them but I notice the two in front of us being particularly handsome. Very jocky guy types, one has a "FIREMAN" shirt they are all standing around drinking beers. I am talking to her apologizing but notice she is paying more attention to the guys. She looks at their empty beer carton and slyly mentions she has got to stop by Publix, pauses and says "strawberry", must have been their type of beer. She looks at me with a blank and slightly "saddened-for-both-of-us" look and I get the pittiest feeling in my stomach. I hug her and I turn around. I gather all my stuff and I put on my white shirt. I walk away feeling like **** knowimg I will never look back. Thanks, -lost in the ATL
lindya Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Below is the dream so if you know anything about dissecting them, it'd be much appreciated: I don't know anything about dissecting dreams, but I enjoy doing it nonetheless. Maybe Gorbachev symbolises the transition from you being embroiled in your parents religion to becoming your own person. Recognising the differences between you and your parents, and learning to feel free to express those differences. Like having your own personal Glasnost. Even though you've moved away from your parents' beliefs, those beliefs maybe still form a part of you that you don't want to recognise. The less cool aspects that you'd like to think you escaped by being kicked out of the church. When your girlfriend is staring at the jocks, maybe this is an anxiety that despite doing all you can to be a typical guy you still don't feel like one inside. The girlfriends might find you out if they get too close, or focus too much on them. They might decide they'd rather be with the jocks in your dream. On the other hand, if you don't pay them enough attention (ie concentrating on your own stuff instead) they might just leave. How do you get the balance right? 1
Author lostintheATL Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 hey thanks alot for the quick response. I have always thought that about Gorbie but never thought about what you said about resolving things with my parents. I always thought the issue lied within my trusting the women I was with perhaps it lies within figuring out my folks, because I really hated them for what went down (alienation form friends, etc). Thanks again it felt great getting this out and having someone respond. -g. 1
lindya Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 hey thanks alot for the quick response. I have always thought that about Gorbie but never thought about what you said about resolving things with my parents. I always thought the issue lied within my trusting the women I was with perhaps it lies within figuring out my folks, because I really hated them for what went down (alienation form friends, etc). Thanks again it felt great getting this out and having someone respond. -g. If someone close has breached your trust, it throws your trust/mistrust ratio into an unbalanced state - jeopardising your future success and happiness. To be happy, you need to be capable of trusting others to a certain extent, whilst being cautious enough not to be taken in by every con artist going. Somehow you need to work towards getting that healthy balance of trust-v-mistrust back...so yes, maybe that will involve working to resolve things with your parents, whilst not allowing all your happiness and self esteem to be dependent upon such a resolution being achieved.
Chimerical Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 It may have something before then but now that I remember it was some type of jehovah's witness function. There was a special speaker (either gorbachev or someone else, gorbie seems to be arecurring episode in my dreams). So I am walking around with my hat with the US flag on it. I remember I had a lot of clothing with me and none of it was in one place. There has to be a group of men to assist the speaker out who now appears to have difficulty walking. They bang the door open with his feet and take him out the side door on the stage. I am sitting with Isabel and the scene as become more of a large football arena type thing. I get a call and it is jennifer. I pick up and I give her one word answers until I am able to get her off the phone. I see Isabel is ready to go, but she is leaving with out me. I tell her I will walk her to her car and she walks off. As I am gathering all of my stuff I notice that she stops for a second and is actually waiting for me. I have a great importance vested in getting all my stuff together, shoes, 4 jackets, alot of ****. I look back and she is no longer there. I leave somehow, and next i am at some type of soccer field and she is on the bleachers. I get close to her and sit as she observes these for guys in front of us, not 5 feet away. Perhaps 5 of them but I notice the two in front of us being particularly handsome. Very jocky guy types, one has a "FIREMAN" shirt they are all standing around drinking beers. I am talking to her apologizing but notice she is paying more attention to the guys. She looks at their empty beer carton and slyly mentions she has got to stop by Publix, pauses and says "strawberry", must have been their type of beer. She looks at me with a blank and slightly "saddened-for-both-of-us" look and I get the pittiest feeling in my stomach. I hug her and I turn around. I gather all my stuff and I put on my white shirt. I walk away feeling like **** knowimg I will never look back. I think the "speaker" represents what you respect, admire.. Someone or something that you respect and admire. But you feel that it's not what you thought it was. That you've found out the speaker is weak (suddenly can't walk) He's not the man you thought he was. Possibly? I'm wondering if this correlates to how you feel about yourself. maybe at one time you felt empowered by your sexual exploits, but now you are feeling weakened, less of a man by it? (Could also be implied by the one word replies to the other girl, and trying to get her off the phone quick.) Another possibility... The speaker represents a belief you feel strongly about, but it has failed, and the belief can no longer support itself. The clothes and stuff. possibily the emotional/psychological baggage that you are carrying around. The guilt you feel for having these affairs on your gf. You feel as though you are spending a large amount of time picking up after yourself. Possibly trying to constantly keep your "**** together", but you can't, you keep dropping things, or you can't carry it all. You feel disorganized and like your constantly playing catch up? Another possibility.. the clothes represent your relationship with your gf, like it's too much, your constantly being held back by it? Your gf watching the soccer players: Possibly jealousy, but you don't seem to express much feeling in your dream. More of a feeling that she is searchign for something more, some one stronger. I've read that the people in our dreams are sometimes representations of ourselves. If this is the case, then she would be a part of you. And by her looking for someone stronger, then in essence you are looking for that person who is strong. Either inside you, or in someone else. Other possibility is that you realize subconciously that she is getting suspicious, or your worried that she is figuring out what is going on, and that she will leave you. But you don't seem to care. You seem to blame her for this. And you're willing to walk away as soon as she stops expressing interest solely in you. So my non-professional opinion. You don't like yourself very much. You have a very low self esteem issue that drives you to seek out the affections of numerous women to bolster yourself. You keep the gf as long as she plays along and your able to hide you games, but you really don't like yourself for this. You feel tired by it, maybe? And you want to walk away from everything right now. You want to be "pure", or start again with out the sins you carry. I could be completely off on all this. Dream interpretation is all about how you associate the things in your dreams. If you love soccer and dream about it, it could mean one thing.. If you hated it, another... I think you feel trapped and want out of it. Feel free to disagree with anything I say. It may help others understand better if you provide some feedback.
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