caring guy Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Just seen a pic of the guy who was screwing my gf, because i wasn't showing being there for her due to my anxiety & depression. I am cutting & drinking & don't care I am involved again with someone, i am pushing & insecure, needing reassurance, pushed her too far too & again i'm alone, depresed & so i am angry with myself & drink& cut more! I'm a mess, blood everywhere & tears. All i have is sleep & drink. I'm looking forward to today, as i can sleep it all over, then drink again. No job, no life , & not wanting one! i just hope suicide is painless!!~
Outcast Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Caring guy, call a suicide helpline, call a doctor, or go to your hospital emergency room. GET HELP NOW!!!!
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Caring guy....you need to care enough about yourself to get help. Please call a crisis helpline right away! United Kingdom Tel: 08457 90 90 90 (Charged at local call rates within the UK) to find a local center, you can go to Samaritans website on http://www.samaritans.org Minicom/textphone: 08457- 90 91 92 Email helpline: [email protected]
cygny Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 come on man, you are going to be ok. you were doing great a few days ago. don't let this get you down. you need to find some work to keep you occupied. call that helpline and keep posting.
skeptik224 Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Please call a crisis line. I know people who have been in your situation. You can get through this. Please call now.
UT_longhorn Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 caring guy. please listen to the other posters. get professional help immediately. you are not alone. there are people suffering with you. please call a hotline.
luvtoto Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 There are people out there that want to help you!! Please dial 911. They won't argue with you or make you feel bad about anything. They will sincerely welcome the chance to help you and support you. They will not judge you!
Author caring guy Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 I know i neeed help., i see a councelor & psycho doc, i texted my friend & no reply, this i guess is a lesson, i am so alone & don't know how to get out of it, i have college, but i feel so depressed i can't go ! Cyngy I thoughtbyou didn't wanna talk anymore about my stuff, thought youd abandone me, just like all the others~ Sad bastad i am!
Outcast Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 When your friends aren't available, call a crisis line. There will always be someone there available to talk to you. Have you told your doctors how bad you feel? I suspect you hide it from them because you clearly need more meds or therapy than you're getting. You must be totally honest with them. Call them today and tell them you're in crisis.
cygny Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I know i neeed help., i see a councelor & psycho doc, i texted my friend & no reply, this i guess is a lesson, i am so alone & don't know how to get out of it, i have college, but i feel so depressed i can't go ! Cyngy I thoughtbyou didn't wanna talk anymore about my stuff, thought youd abandone me, just like all the others~ Sad bastad i am! no way dude i am here and have been checking your other thread. but what about what i told you? --to get out and do things, date others- -- and i was waiting to hear that you had done something--i had no idea you were so down... get out there no matter how hard it is, because no one else can 'do' this for you, but we will be right here supporting you and cheering you on---
riobikini Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 OK, CaringGuy, I saw your thread. It was excruciating! I hope you've stopped cutting yourself, -as if you need more pain in your life! What's up with that? Man, the pain and the scars are supposed to be on the inside! I hope you took the advice of other posters here, and saw a professional about that, -seriously. About this girl, -love does cause you pain, sometimes, but it doesn't destroy you, it only feels like it. Nobody should bleed. Do your friends or family know about this? Someone else should know what you're going through and what you're doing to yourself, -ASAP. And stay off the liquor. It only makes you think of her. Get help. Now. -Rio
Author caring guy Posted January 21, 2006 Author Posted January 21, 2006 This just shows my insecurity & paranoia, that as soon as someone doesn't get back to me i start to push! I feel alone & am very depresssed, i think of what could\ve been & should & shouldn't's . The cutting relieves my pain, but i can't do it again, not now anywasy as it's not very attractive to prospective partners! This girl is back here now, i texted & got nothing, so i guess i was right,, she was going with me & then would have ended it! I just feel bad for not going, what could've happened!
cygny Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 hey there, you can change this up. it will take a little time and you'll have to learn some new skills. it wasn't 'you' she rejected--it's the way you handled things. don't take it personally, it has happened to everyone here. you can change it.
Author caring guy Posted January 21, 2006 Author Posted January 21, 2006 I can make it happen, a change in my thought process, how i handle stuff! I just regret, i am insecure & need love as i don't get it anywhere! All i can say about this situation that makes me feel better, is that it was like a delayed execution, it was going to happen where we split as she's off down south soon! Maybe better to get out now than continue until the day & the heartbreak then! I do kinda take it personally, it was me, it was my actions, i could have controled what i did & i didn't, i did what i needed to do, not what i thought was beneficial & right! cg
luvtoto Posted January 21, 2006 Posted January 21, 2006 Caring Guy, you need to learn some coping skills. Therapy will help with that.
cygny Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 I can make it happen, a change in my thought process, how i handle stuff! I just regret, i am insecure & need love as i don't get it anywhere! All i can say about this situation that makes me feel better, is that it was like a delayed execution, it was going to happen where we split as she's off down south soon! Maybe better to get out now than continue until the day & the heartbreak then! I do kinda take it personally, it was me, it was my actions, i could have controled what i did & i didn't, i did what i needed to do, not what i thought was beneficial & right! cg YES you can make it happen. We all need love--and guess what--alot of us don't get it anywhere either. We've learned to live with our condition. YES good to get some closure. No it wasn't you personally, not the innate 'you' --but you do need to learn how to handle yourself and your emotions. That is what is getting this reaction from her. Do you have an email in your file? i don't see one.
whatwentwrong Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 Just seen a pic of the guy who was screwing my gf, because i wasn't showing being there for her due to my anxiety & depression. I am cutting & drinking & don't care I am involved again with someone, i am pushing & insecure, needing reassurance, pushed her too far too & again i'm alone, depresed & so i am angry with myself & drink& cut more! I'm a mess, blood everywhere & tears. All i have is sleep & drink. I'm looking forward to today, as i can sleep it all over, then drink again. No job, no life , & not wanting one! i just hope suicide is painless!!~ Dear Caring Guy. Stop. You alone are worth living. Life is not just about a woman. I do not know where you are living but if it is in snow, go out and look at the magnificance of white beautiful snow, or the beauty of the trees, the bushes, the sky. What do you love, is it children laughing, is it snow falling, is it a sports team, is it a sit com, is it the sound of the rain. There is something you love and it can not reject you. What about a pet. What about doing something for someone who is sadder than you, what about colours, what is your fave. I have been suicidal three times because of a thiry year relationship which is dead. Guess what. Suicide may be more painful than life. You have a purpose and it is not just to make another woman happy. It is bigger than one or two relationships. Stop, think and know that even someone on the internet is sending you LOVE. I LOVE YOU. Do not slash, Do not Hurt yourself, you are soooooooooo valuable.
Author caring guy Posted January 22, 2006 Author Posted January 22, 2006 Cygney & All I spent so much tiem alone in my 20's. Being single, sport, cycling, going out with the guys, & hiding my internal lonliness that all these covered up, thaty i wanted a partner, to feel love, to give it & then i got it! 2 relationships down the line, i'm alone, i've had a taste of the beautiful feeling of waking next to someone, holding someones hand, sharing things, cooking meals, etc, all that comes with it! Now it's gone & i'm realy hurting. I miss it, them, her. At the moment, i am low, my self esteem is low & i feel unattractive & can't see any light at the end of the tunnel! I'm back at sq 1. This feeling makes me upset, that how i am, how i crave the feeling of being loved will continue to f*ck up relatiuonships. I guess i'm unattractive with needyness & pushy. I've just read in newspaper someone who grieved for his dead wife & love blossomed with a girl who was helping him griev! Like she involved herself with someone with baggage, just like me in a way. She lives with him & yet he has photos of his dead wife around the place. She taught him to love, i guess i need this type of girl & the ones i had weren't suitable for me. I've added an email address to my profile! Huggs to you all:(
Tiny Posted January 22, 2006 Posted January 22, 2006 Hope your feeling better mate Just checked out your profile and your just up the road from me, i'm in Chesterfield. Keep listening and taking all the good advice your getting from all your friends here at loveshack. The Sun will shine again soon for you buddy, i'm sure, take care and keep posting.
Author caring guy Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 I feel like hell, i gotta stop drinking, but i don't enjoy anything anymore, i have quit college & ama recluse, i just feel so depressed & upset. So different from the head over heels feeling i had! When i met this Estonian girl, we had so much in common, spent this short time feeling like we knew each other for years, we both wanted exactly the same from a relationship, but after this short intense time & the space, she change her mind! I just want to know what it was, why!! She doesn't answer my messages or anything. The trip i planned with her, as i didn't go because of reasons that i thought i was just going because it was paid for it & not because she wanted me to, seem to be true! Like i've heard nothing since & i assume she planned to dump me after anyway, but we were only realy going as friends! I can't force any reason from her, i'm just so depressed & it's hit me hard! I have history of anxiety & deporession & this has spiralled me outa control, i'm on that slipper slope & i'm in a big black hole! I've had this before, i've had so many crap xmas's been alone on V/Day & i see no end to my pain & misery, that this will continue forever! I've no motivation, self confidence & positivity! I feel i'll always be alone! I miss her & am so confused & in need of answers &its' realy affecting me. cg
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Caring guy, read the thread I just posted on the power of your mind.
kitten chick Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 I have history of anxiety & deporession & this has spiralled me outa control, i'm on that slipper slope & i'm in a big black hole! Outcast and Jen_Jen are right. You're sick and need professional help. There's nothing wrong with that, plenty of people suffer from anxiety and depression. Breakups actually cause a chemical reaction in your brain where you use your amygdala less. (The amygdala is the part of the brain controlling emotion, motivation, and attention) This is a prime effect of depression. Reading and posting may help you a little bit but it's not going to solve your problem. Please find a way to get professional help.
Author caring guy Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 I see a psychiatrist, a councelo a cpn, i'm hearing what they say, i just can't do it, not now anyway, i just don't care. Aint no sunshine when she's gone. Only tears!
kitten chick Posted January 23, 2006 Posted January 23, 2006 Does the psychiatrist know that you're cutting? If you've been seeing a psychiatrist for a while and you're still cutting it might be time for you to consider an inpatient program for a few days or weeks.
Author caring guy Posted January 23, 2006 Author Posted January 23, 2006 That maybe a distinct possibility, i can't go on with these feelings. What we talked of, that we were so close & her touch & then after it was becausee she hadn't been with a man for ages! I felt used, we both didn't want a fling, i don't sleep around as i get attached, it hurts me so, i just miss her touch! & how we were!
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