GuySimple Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 It was kind of a rough day for the kids. One of them told their mother that they maybe wanted to live with me rather than do the back and forth thing. I had a chat with them and we talked about some of their feelings about the separation they were struggling with. I think it helped and the living arrangements should remain with the same shared arrangement. My wife finally went to see a councilor and felt more comfortable telling me a few things tonight about what she felt. Bit of a break through since this is really the first time since the “I don’t love you anymore” 5 months ago that she has said anything with respect to how she feels. Basically nothing has changed as far as her feelings towards me go. I don’t believe she feels anything for me. However, the thing with the kids kind of spooked her a bit. She asked if I think it was all her fault and my response was that our relationship was sour but that I was willing to try and work through things and that it was her that was not wanting to try. She indicated that I was the one who moved out. Well, yes that is true, but her alternative was to live in the basement after she told me that it was definitely over. Tonight as she is going out the door she turns and say’s “suppose that you were to move back in an we lived in separate rooms for a year. Would you want to do that?” I told her that it sounded kind of strange and what would it do to the kids to have an arrangement like that. Besides, I think that I would eventually get resentful and angry doing that. After she left the more I thought about it the more insulted I got. This is a woman who has kept things bottled up inside her for 7 years about an affair I had and told her about. We supposedly worked through things but I am discovering now that she didn’t and has lived for 7 years very angry with me. I honestly don’t trust that she wouldn’t after a year say “well we tried now go” just to save face.
Mz. Pixie Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Yeah, I think we're having some growing pains in that respect too with the kids. It's hard on my son to go back and forth, my daughter seems to be fine with it. He gets a bit tired and irritable but won't say if it's the commute. It's hard GS, and I'm sorry. I personally have always thought that something else is up with your wife besides the affair you had seven years ago, I truly believe that it just hasn't come to light yet.
trickynj99 Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Guy- there are lots of ups and downs... in the end, she really needs to get moving on dealing with whatever problems she had with the marriage and herself, so even though its bottled up a long time..It HAS TO come out...i'm dealing with the same stuff...only she can decide in the end and it seems that you are dealing with the realities of that pretty well.. also arent you resentful and angry that you had to move out?!! i know i am really really pissed that i am in 700 sq ft right now and she is in our big house i keep asking myself this question...if there were no kids, what would i do?? i can tell you are very committed to them and that makes the whole situation 10x more complicated..
Recommended Posts