Yeemix Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Hello everyone, I'm another new member looking for some advice. This will probably be a long and boring post, so continue if you have time to kill. I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now, and it has been great times with her. Recently, I would say about a few months ago, I noticed I've been slightly mean to her. I've been stressed and unfortunately that has manifested itself in my anger at her. The majority of the time it has nothing to do with her, but I feel it's her fault. She is such a wonderful, sweet, caring girl and I'm so lucky to have someone as understanding as her to put up with my terrible attitude. I love her so much; she's a wonderful girlfriend, and also my best friend. I don't want to lose her, and I seem to know my problem, why can't I change? Thanks for sticking around, and I appreciate any advice you can offer.
Walk Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 You sound like my boyfriend... Can you explain what you mean when you say you're mean to her? Like verbally abusive? What are you classifying as "mean"? And why do you feel you are behaving this way toward her? Other then stress. Is this something you've done before to other people? Or is this a singular instance?
Weye Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Some people have bad tempers. Anger is most likely to come out during the hard times. Many people lose their tempers when things are not going well in their life, and even take it out on their loved ones, and it doesn't at all mean that they are all bad people. But it does mean that they have a problem that needs to be dealt with. Its not good to let your agressive energy build up inside you. Find a proper outlet for your agression, some physical activity. I always feel so at peace after a good workout, like as if someone had put a suction tube in my ear and just S*U*C*K*E*D all the negative energy out of my head. Also, next time you start to feel agression around her, try to slow down for a second, look into her eyes and remember that the beautiful girl sitting in front of you loves you no matter how bad things are going for you. Think back to all the special things she's done for you and how happy she's made you. Remember how sweet she is, and how much you love her -thats whats really important. The problems of the day are only temporary.
witabix Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 You have already taken the first step in confronting this problem. You have recognised its existance and its negative effect on your life. Now you need to examine what you are thinking at the point just before you start being horrible to her. (However you define horrible) What leads you up to that point. What are you doing/saying/thinking. A little more information, as Walk said, what do you classify as mean?
JayKay Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 I'm glad you recognize the problem. Believe me, you risk losing her if you don't get a handle on it. I dated a guy for a while who had a terrible temper and would take it out on me. He dumped a lot of emotional baggage into my lap and I think it was because he'd never come to terms with his marriage ending and his business failing. I finally walked out after the umpteenth time of him acting like an ass towards me. I agree, physical exercise is a great way to relieve stress. You might also want to do some short-term therapy to learn how to better control you anger.
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