Vic1298 Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Here is some background- I've been dating a guy for about 3 mos. We met through a one of my good friends who is also friends with him. At the time we met, we were both in relationships that we werent happy in. We didnt cross the line when we were both attatched just hung out in a group of friends and chatted a bit but we really clicked. Then about a month later I had been broken up with my ex and he was in the process of leaving his gf (they lived together and she was moving out). At this time we started hanging out more and over the course of a few weeks we started officialy "going out". Now his ex was a liar and cheated on him constantly (even with some of his closest friends which he still doesnt know about) but she always liked to keep him around for when she was done having her fun and he always let her walk all over him because he didnt know how to stand up to her. She didnt take the breakup well and refuses to leave him alone. Fast foward to now- He lives about 1hr away from me and I usually only get to see him on the weekends. His ex is constantly coming over to his house during the week when Im not there trying to get him to take her back, however, when she sees us out she doesnt say a word to him. When I am over at his house she is constantly calling him. She even brought over christmas presents to his house. At first he was cool with it and said he would still like to be friends with her. Then one night she came over and made a big scene and started hitting him and all. After that he said he would never let her back in his house again. Now that I've gotten all that out of the way here is the problem. One day a couple of weeks ago I was at his house and I noticed a pair of earrings on his sink that werent mine. I asked him about them and he said that they were his ex's and he thought she probably put them there to piss me off. I let it slide. Then last weekend I was at his house and my phone doesnt work too well there. He was sleeping and I picked up his phone to call my friend back. I just hit send because I had called her the night before on his phone and I was just going to redail it. Then I saw about 10 calls from his ex, all lasting about 10-20min. So I decided to look at his text messages and there were some in there saying "I love u" and one saying "I cant wait to see u on wednesday". Well Wednesday would have been yesterday and guess what, he didnt call me all day. So I text messaged him and told him that we need to talk in person. The only problem is now I am all freaked out about talking to him. I cant tell him that I looked in his phone because that was wrong. And I dont know how else to bring things up because as far as he thinks the last thing he told me was that he was never letting her come over again. All of my friends say that he is a really good guy and has never cheated on a girl but this seems fishy to me. What deos this whole situation sound like to you and if there is any advice on what I can say to him I would greatly appreciate it.
slubberdegullion Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Be afraid. Be very very afraid. Maybe he is a good guy, and maybe he's never cheated on anyone, but from what you've written here, I'm afraid it doesn't look too good. Now, a quick clarification is required, because I'm not familiar with text messaging devices: Were the phrases "I love u" and "I cant wait to see u on wednesday" from him to her, or from her to him? Or can you tell?
Author Vic1298 Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 Those were from her to him and all of the calls were from her to him as well. I looked in the outgoing messages and there were none from him replying to her or anything. I kind of touched this subject with him before asking him if he still wants to be with her and he said that it was the last thing he wanted and tha I never had to worry about that. We have a great time when we are together and everything seems perfect. Everyone says that she is a psycho and will do anything to get what she wants. My only rationalization is that she texted him those messages on purpose hoping that I would read them. What should I say to him? I cant tell him that I looked at his phone can I?
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