QueenieJD Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Okay ladies (and gentlemen) ...Please offer me any help or opinions you may have. Here is the deal: My loving b/f of a year and a half is amazing, we are both at school but different schools so we are living 2 hours apart. In about the last month several issues have came up in my mind, well three, here we go ~> (#1) Already over a year ago he told me he loved me and I feel the same. He talks about the future and living together and when we're older and everything and I couldnt be happier, as I want the same thing! However, last week I was really trying to figure out the direction of my future and I sent him a LONG email all about everything future realated. He was one of the paragraphs, I said nothing about marriage or anything, just staying together, being partners in work & living together. He talked to me about every other issue except that one, then he just abruptly changed his future plans and made me feel very uncomfortable sending him that email, although he did save it. I would like to talk to him about that, what how? And what do I say so I dont offend him?? I just want to get it off my chest ASAP. (#2) I have a very hard time opening up and talking to him. And it upsets him that I'm not as open as him. But that was the way I was raised and the environment that I grew up in. I would step outside of my barriers for him, but how? *last one I promise, lol* (#3) We talk about every second day, if we're busy that night then every third. I want to talk to him everyday and I think about him lots and might just send him an email saying hi have a good day sort of thing, but in a year and a half he has never done the same! It kind of bothers me, he doesnt know that, but like if he was sick last time I talked to him, I'll text him the next day to see how hes feeling, he just seems to not care about me, which from what I know is completly not true. Is it just not his style or is that expressing something... And what do I do about it? Tell him how I feel?? It just seems like how could we live together when we dont even know what its like to talk on the phone everyday.. thats just what I think! Your help on any or all of this issue would sure be appreciated. Thanks!!!
slubberdegullion Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 I sent him a LONG email all about everything future realated...I would like to talk to him about that, what how? And what do I say so I dont offend him?? I just want to get it off my chest ASAP. He may feel backed into a corner. Just let it ride. When he brings it up - which he will at some point - then you can discuss it. But until then, enjoy your relationship and ease off the pressure about the future. I would step outside of my barriers for him, but how? Depends on how much you trust him. Stretching your limits is one of the ways we grow as people. So tell him exactly what you've said here: "I'd like to be more open, but I have a hard time doing that. Are you willing to work with me on this?" I have little doubt that he'd agree. how could we live together when we dont even know what its like to talk on the phone everyday Personally, I'm not a big "phone guy," so I don't see anything wrong at all with sharing news when you have news. But just to call to chat about the weather and what you had for dinner and whatnot gets pretty old pretty fast. He may feel the same way; I don't know. But don't take it personally if he doesn't feel like chatting every second or third day. After all, much of life is routine, and there's not that much excitement!
camel Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 I think females just tend to show more affection (meaning little emails and such) than most -- but not all -- males. It could be a product of how HE was raised. How does his dad treat his mom? Are you in school undergrad? If so, you are young, going to meet a lot of people, don't back yourself into a corner. I've learned, though I don't always take my own advice, that things work out best when you don't try to control them. By needing him to respond to your email, you are needing to control. I don't mean being controlling, just let things roll.
Author QueenieJD Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 Thats all very understandable and good points!! Thanks for ur reply. Anyone else have some opinions??
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