BlahBlahQueen Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Speaking of obsession. Some have indicated that they find it obsessive behavior to talk about God or Jesus. Well following that logic wouldn't it be obsessive to talk about sports or cars all the time like some guys do? I'm not a sports fan but I know alot of men talk about sports constantly. I don't think they are obsessed. I don't think evangelicals are obsessed for talking about Jesus. Women like to talk about clothes and shopping and makeup all the time. Oh lastly. It seems alot of people on this forum are obsessed with the no contact rule. Nobody thinks anything of someone who talks about the NC subject all the time. Wouldn't that be obsession too? Those are ALL obsessive behaviors. Anything that occupies too much of your thought is obsessive. Everyone seems to make an excuse for WHY it's reasonable to think or talk about something constantly. But in the end, it's a waste of the time that you could be using to think and learn about other things, and in so doing, grow intellectually. When you reach an obsessed point, you only grow in one direction, making you a very narrow, unidimensional human being. Even subscribing to a single religion is limiting, since there is so much to be learned and so much opportunity to grow from all the different schools of thought. But, not wanting to turn this into a theological discussion (which I'm EXTREMELY tempted to do), I'll shut up now. All I have to say is that by seeking out only someone with identical beliefs, you are denying yourself the opportunity to grow and expand your consciousness. You have a lot to gain from accepting someone of a different philosophy into your life. I know you may not want what they have to offer, but trust me when I tell you that their perspectives are very valuable. What you're proposing saddens me. 1
alphamale Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 religion and god is a crock of bullshyt that has been created by humans in order to fill in the holes of what we don't know and what we cannot explain. come on, wake up smell the coffee. the world actually is worse off with religion around. its just one more thing that seperates us and causes more conflict and strife.
blind_otter Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 i don't think it's the religion that separates us so much as the way that individuals seem to pick and choose what applies to them and what doesn't. And if I dated someone exactly like me we would kill each other in like 5 seconds. Similaries, sure, hey, why not? Carbon copy? Heck nooooooo.
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 religion and god is a crock of bullshyt that has been created by humans in order to fill in the holes of what we don't know and what we cannot explain. Oh, it has an even bigger role than that. It also gives otherwise empty people a sense of purpose and self-worth, calms their natural existential anxiety with a sense of order, makes a lonely heart feel loved, gives a sense of security and comfort that there is really something controlling everything that happens to them, and empowers the powerless by making them feel they can pray/perform spells/whatever to affect the outcome of their lives. A weak human mind needs to feel these things to keep from going insane. That's why religion will never die. It fills a void in the average human psyche.
alphamale Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Oh, it has an even bigger role than that. It also gives otherwise empty people a sense of purpose and self-worth, calms their natural existential anxiety with a sense of order, makes a lonely heart feel loved, gives a sense of security and comfort that there is really something controlling everything that happens to them, and empowers the powerless by making them feel they can pray/perform spells/whatever to affect the outcome of their lives. A weak human mind needs to feel these things to keep from going insane. That's why religion will never die. It fills a void in the average human psyche. i agree 110%....religion is the opiate of the masses.
quankanne Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 It fills a void in the average human psyche and here I thought being spiritually involved helped me transcend my limited human self ... i agree 110%....religion is the opiate of the masses thank goodness you're not the spokesperson for everyone on this forum, alpha. All the crap people fill their lives with ends up being boring and not very enlightening after awhile, and your heart yearns for something more. Hence the search for God.
Author grace2005 Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 The point is that when someone sees the world differently than you do, it broadens your thinking and may open you up to new, more interesting things, people, places, or ideas. Just because this person is your spouse or long term SO, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't have some healthy differences - and I don't mean "smoking pot," "going to strip clubs," or "gambling." People have their own opinions and reactions to life stimuli even if they participate in 100% of the same activities you to. Environment is only a small part of how people form their personalities. But not Everything! You want to pray together, eat together, read together, shower together (well, that one could be fun...), 24 hours a day??? What if your "wife" wants her own life? One that doesn't include gambling, drinking, smokin' dope, but just one that doesn't perpetually involve you and Jesus? Then what? You make your jealous god (I thought the whole point of the second testament was that God isn't jealous or spiteful or vengeful like those "dirty Jews" thought) sound more important to your life than the person who you want to be your whole world, in this life - but it works both ways. You're gonna have to find someone who doesn't think you're her world, either, and then what the f*** is the point of even finding real love? A person's faith should always be an important underlying factor in everything they do, breathe, think, feel! Regardless of what that idea of faith entails. You're putting too much importance on the religious aspect and not enough on the heathy aspect of having morals and values - which should always mostly align with your SO's - even if your morals are more loose than others'. You come off as extremely judgemental, and it just irks me because you keep saying that you are tolerant of others, but to me it just sounds like lip service. Well, I've got news for you - even if you find someone completely compatible with you, your conflicts are most definitely going to be bigger than that if you plan to spend the rest of your life with them. Even bigger conflicts than "trash music." Musical tastes run pretty far and wide, my friend - I consider a lot of my boyfriend's music crap, and my boyfriend despises country and some of the other things on my playlist. I don't change it when he's over, yet we still care about each other. You've just got to let some of them go... I do. And if I found a sports obsessed guy, I wouldn't date him, either. You seem mighty big in your britches using the word "logic." I find nothing in any of your posts to be remotely logical. There's a difference between a passion and an obsession, but it's a fine line sometimes. Your relationship with Christ sounds borderline unhealthy - not passionate so much as obsessive and controlling. Then again, "my" God's never been jealous or controlling...so I can't fathom what you're talking about. That's just it. I don't want to marry someone who puts me first let alone date someone. One of the red flags I look for is whether or not she puts her family first. I give my ex credit for putting God and her family before me. She certainly did have her priorites in order. Why? Because my family comes before women I'm dating. You say I come across as judgemental. Well look who's talking. You just passed judgement on me by that very statement. So you are no less guilty of passing judgement than I am. So this whole idea of "don't judge anybody" is lip service. The most judgemental people are ones who say "don't judge". It's a self defeating statement to say it's wrong to judge somebody because that in itself is a judgement. Bottom line is we judge people all the time whether it's religious people or not. It is in our nature. I think most of LS is very judgemental to say the least so I'm not the only one guilty of that. Bottom line is just because I want to abstain from sex before I'm married I'm seen as judgemental? All because I won't compromise that. Also to say that I'm close minded is making a judgement too. Not everyone sees it as closed mindedness. On another thread some poster said she would not date a guy who is fat. I consider that to be pretty close minded while others don't.Why? because she never knows what she could be missing if she got to know that guy on the inside. A perfect example of how we are all guilty of making quick judgements. We judge people according to their physical appearance. Alot of people don't seem to think its wrong to turn down a date because of someone's physical appearance but they think it's wrong to turn down a date because of someone's religion. Religion is just a sunday exercise for 1 hour. A relationship with Christ is 24/7. I didn't say I wanted to have everything in common with my wife. Some things are more important to have in common than others. For me personally the most important thing is that she's a born again believer. What I consider to be important to have in common may not be what you consider important. I mean come on. Some women are only interested in men who like to ride horses like they do. To them that's an important thing to have in common. Nothing wrong with that.I talked to a lady several years back about how she prefers a guy who likes riding horses. I didn't think she was closed minded. For others it's not so important that their husband likes riding horses. You admitted that it is important to have some things in common. So how do you decide what's important to have in common and what isn't? What's important for you may not be important for me. I have no interest in learning about other religions. To me its a waste of time. Just like some feel it's a waste of time to read the bible & would never consider embracing evangelicalism. If I wasn't tolerant of others then I wouldn't even pursue friendships with folks of different belief systems but I do have lots of friends who don't believe like I do. I enjoy their compnay both males and female friends but I could never get intimate with any of those females.
Author grace2005 Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 To say that my relationship with Christ is very obsessive is rather extreme. I'm not out hurting anyone else with my religion. I'm not the one who's blowing people up like the islamic terrorists. I'm not out killing people in the name of Jesus. That would be obsessive. But I'm not going to change who I am for anybody else. They will know ahead of time where I stand & how I view this world. If they don't agree with it then they will have to decide whether to accept me or not. Again they are taking the risk of finding me boring if they accept the fact that I don't want to engage in the same activities they like to do. By the way just a little scenario. Would you date some guy who wasobsessed with this website and all he talked about was the NC rule? What if he spent alot of his free time here?
blind_otter Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 The most judgemental people are ones who say "don't judge". It's a self defeating statement to say it's wrong to judge somebody because that in itself is a judgement. Bottom line is we judge people all the time whether it's religious people or not. It is in our nature. I think most of LS is very judgemental to say the least so I'm not the only one guilty of that. Bottom line is just because I want to abstain from sex before I'm married I'm seen as judgemental? All because I won't compromise that. Also to say that I'm close minded is making a judgement too. Not everyone sees it as closed mindedness. On another thread some poster said she would not date a guy who is fat. I consider that to be pretty close minded while others don't.Why? because she never knows what she could be missing if she got to know that guy on the inside. A perfect example of how we are all guilty of making quick judgements. We judge people according to their physical appearance. Alot of people don't seem to think its wrong to turn down a date because of someone's physical appearance but they think it's wrong to turn down a date because of someone's religion. This is circular logic. According to you, any time any one says any THING, they are being judgemental. Of course, this is true. We're talking about a CONTINUUM. To excess, yes. It is wrong. Also I have no idea why you keep bringing up abstaining from sex. No one has yet posted anything regarding your choice in that matter, nor has anyone brought up the subject. Only you have. Ultimately it's your perogative to choose who you want to be with. You introduced a topic, people have discussed it, you keep chiming in to let them know that the discussion is WRONG. Well what did you expect? A bunch of similarly minded people with the same opinion? Come on, dude. Be realistic. And I wonder why you're getting so defensive.
Author grace2005 Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 This is circular logic. According to you, any time any one says any THING, they are being judgemental. Of course, this is true. We're talking about a CONTINUUM. To excess, yes. It is wrong. Also I have no idea why you keep bringing up abstaining from sex. No one has yet posted anything regarding your choice in that matter, nor has anyone brought up the subject. Only you have. Ultimately it's your perogative to choose who you want to be with. You introduced a topic, people have discussed it, you keep chiming in to let them know that the discussion is WRONG. Well what did you expect? A bunch of similarly minded people with the same opinion? Come on, dude. Be realistic. And I wonder why you're getting so defensive. And who decides when the judgement gets excessive? You do? I'm the one who is getting attacked and being judged as prejidice for not dating someone of a different religion. How is that anymore prejudice than choosing not to date someone because of their weight or physical ailments like acne or warts, or anything related to physical apperance in general?? For me looks don't matter when I'm looking for a partner but for some it does. It does not make them any less prejuidce than I am. My opinion is you close yourself off to alot of good opportunites if you turn away from them because of how they look. Bottom line is we are all guilty of some form of prejudice from one degree to another. 1
mintjulep Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 If you ask me, the only good prejudice to have is one against small-minded people
blind_otter Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 And who decides when the judgement gets excessive? You do? I'm the one who is getting attacked and being judged as prejidice for not dating someone of a different religion. How is that anymore prejudice than choosing not to date someone because of their weight or physical ailments like acne or warts, or anything related to physical apperance in general?? For me looks don't matter when I'm looking for a partner but for some it does. It does not make them any less prejuidce than I am. My opinion is you close yourself off to alot of good opportunites if you turn away from them because of how they look. Bottom line is we are all guilty of some form of prejudice from one degree to another. Not to offend you...but could you look up the word "continuum" please? Well my opinion is that you close off numerous opportunities for enrichment, and if you didn't feel threatened somehow in terms of your religious observance, someone having a different one wouldn't bother you. Your reasons are your reasons, but you did open up the thread with a question. People answered your questions and now your panties are in a wad because they didn't agree with you.
alphamale Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Your reasons are your reasons, but you did open up the thread with a question. People answered your questions and now your panties are in a wad because they didn't agree with you. see B_0....this is the main problem with these religious zealots. they think THEIR belief system is correct and the only correct one. they think THEIR religion will make them go to heaven. they think anyone who does not follow THEIR religion is a heathen and will burn in hell for eternity. these religious folk are full of shyt and so closed minded it is not even funny. they cannot accept the thought that maybe there are millions of "paths" to salvation and spiritual fullfillment. 1
blind_otter Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 see B_0....this is the main problem with these religious zealots. they think THEIR belief system is correct and the only correct one. they think THEIR religion will make them go to heaven. they think anyone who does not follow THEIR religion is a heathen and will burn in hell for eternity. these religious folk are full of shyt and so closed minded it is not even funny. they cannot accept the thought that maybe there are millions of "paths" to salvation and spiritual fullfillment. haha. According to that belief system, I'll apparently be seeing a lot of my friends and family in hell. Hmm. Can it be that bad, if everyone I know is there? that would make heaven like one of those stuffy parties where I don't know anyone and I'm not dressed appropriately. like a wedding or something. (note: the above was sarcastic) 2
reservoirdog1 Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 My belief is that there is only one way to heaven and that's through Jesus Christ. Most religions believe the same thing about their gods. Even the various strains of Christianity believe theirs is the only true path. All those faiths can't be right. But they all think they are. Which means one of two things: 1) We're all f*cked in the end. 2) There is no god.
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 and here I thought being spiritually involved helped me transcend my limited human self... Spiritual does not equal religious. You know that as well as I do. No dogma on Earth is going to help you transcend your humanity. Even spirituality itself is merely about opening up new pathways in the brain and/or putting your brainwaves into a different phase and/or accessing untapped sections of the brain... All the crap people fill their lives with ends up being boring and not very enlightening after awhile, and your heart yearns for something more. Hence the search for God. equals It fills a void in the average human psyche. You just answered your own question.
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