gordon_gc Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 My exgf broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago now. We kept in touch on and off. At this time, I was trying to get her back and did silly thing. Recently, i decided to go to another level of silliness and show her I was cool with the current situation and could be kind of a friend. We had healthy contacts talking about everything. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to go into strict NC and strangely, she also started NC. I knew something was happening for her to apply NC. Yesterday, one of my friend told me she is now seeing someone which now explain a lot. (the information is right!!!). I really feel disrespected and **** since when we broke up, she told me she needed independance and space. She needed to be by herself, ect... Suddenly, she finds a guy...pretty quick to get over a 1 year relationship and go back to a couple situation !!!! I feel so upset I could blow to her face but then , I know its not the right thing to do. I havent slept all night and the thought of her being with somebody else is killing me.... What should I do ??? HELP ME !!!
CaliGuy Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Nothing you can do about the situation. Let it go. Worrying over something you can't control does you absolutely no good. I was in the same place as you. Ex pretty much said the same thing but it was just an excuse. She is co-dependent. She wants to be with someone different than me. I can do nothing about it, so worrying or losing sleep over it will just hurt me, nobody else. The best thing you can do it stick to NC. If her heart changes she'll be the one to let you know. If you try to interfere or otherwise make contact before she is ready then all you will do is mess things up. Work out, hang out with friends, spend time with hobbies and whenever you think of her, remember all the fun things you like to do (that don't include her). We've all been there man. You just gotta let go and focus on yourself.
Author gordon_gc Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 Thanks Caliguy, really appreciate your support ! What's with people that can't handle being the "bad guy" and don't have the guts to say what is actually in their mind ???? Yes, it will hurt but at least, it will be honest. My exgf bloody played me around from day 1 by giving me excuse i would be ok to hear. She didnt want to lose our friendship...bloody hell, she ****ing did by behaving the way she did the last few months and even more by having a new person in her life now. I lost total respect for her with her lack of honesty.
gfto Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Suddenly, she finds a guy...pretty quick to get over a 1 year relationship and go back to a couple situation !!!! She was over you long before she dumped you. It only seemed sudden to you. No contact is the only way to go!
CaliGuy Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Thanks Caliguy, really appreciate your support ! What's with people that can't handle being the "bad guy" and don't have the guts to say what is actually in their mind ???? Yes, it will hurt but at least, it will be honest. My exgf bloody played me around from day 1 by giving me excuse i would be ok to hear. She didnt want to lose our friendship...bloody hell, she ****ing did by behaving the way she did the last few months and even more by having a new person in her life now. I lost total respect for her with her lack of honesty. So then ask yourself "Why would I care about someone who disrespected me in such a bad manner??" That's why NC is good. If she valued a friendship in you, pulling away from her gives her a chance to see what she is missing. It takes time. She may never come back at all but I guarantee you that if you don't let go and heal yourself, if you cling to her in any way, if you stay down in the dumps, she will never want you and neither will anyone else. Picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward is the only way. You must do it.
Author gordon_gc Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 So then ask yourself "Why would I care about someone who disrespected me in such a bad manner??" That is exactly what I am doing now but still, it hurts a lot That's why NC is good. If she valued a friendship in you, pulling away from her gives her a chance to see what she is missing. I have done NC and so far, I was ok...a new man but with the fresh new, I feel like I am back to the pathetic guy I was. I know I should keep NC. It takes time. She may never come back at all but I guarantee you that if you don't let go and heal yourself, if you cling to her in any way, if you stay down in the dumps, she will never want you and neither will anyone else. I am not even sure I want her anymore. It sounds childish but in some way, I am wishing her the pain I lived these last 2 months...I don't wish her well at all (I am talking with anger) Picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward is the only way. You must do it. Its hard to put on a happy face and pretend I am cool when I am not. I wanted to ask a girl out but I know I am not in my best state to do so...my ex is getting into my life a bit too much and I am sick of it !!!
RZA-Man Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 The new bf is probably a rebound. I know you're upset and you should be, but if you really think about it this rebound guy is just a flash in the pan. When the rebound relationship doesn't work out she'll come running back to you. Stay away from her and practice NC! That way if she does come back you'll have probably moved on to a better girl and not want anything to do with your ex. I think the thing we should all remember is that we don't need our exes to be happy, we were leading fullfilling, happy and productive lives before we met them and we'll do so after they leave.
Author gordon_gc Posted January 20, 2006 Author Posted January 20, 2006 The new bf is probably a rebound. I know you're upset and you should be, but if you really think about it this rebound guy is just a flash in the pan. When the rebound relationship doesn't work out she'll come running back to you. Kind of like that vision but there is only one problem to this...he is the rebound bfand when time wil come (if it comes), I don't think I'll open the door. She is out of my life. Sadly, she wasted everything. Stay away from her and practice NC! No worry, I'll stay away...simply because I dont wanna say things to her that wouldnt solve any problems !!! Thanks all !!!! Great support
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