Still hurts..

[dprelz]

It's been about 5 months and still it hurts me everyday. It's not to the point where I can't function (work, sleep, eat) like it was for about 2 months. But, it still affects my life and I still love her and miss her.

 

We’ve gone through various degrees of NC, lasting between a couple weeks to almost a couple months. Each time she contacts me still, using a website we both use to visit a lot. Kind of like my space but more of a journal site. She's doing it again lately; it's been about 10 days of NC this time. She's gone through phases where she updates it everyday about her life, about me, us, talking to me, etc..

 

We haven't talked on the phone for months and I haven't seen her for a long time. We both have the feeling like it was a vivid dream in which it was so nice but it just doesn't feel real anymore. I personally have a hard time remembering her face and her smell. But I still miss her and love her, and when I think hard about her it hurts just like the first day.

 

My plan was just to go on with life and try meeting someone else, and see if we really were that good together. She had another bf after she left me, but it was a rebound and she left him... Apparently she still feels guilty towards how she treated me when we were broken up and is still "too afraid to call". So I've left her alone and continue strict NC. NO sms, aim, msn, email, etc.

 

Is this situation a bit different because she still contacts me or does this sound about right? I feel like my window of opportunity of getting her back is slipping away the longer I wait! I guess the signs are still there since she doesn’t even have the courage to see me or call me.. but she still misses me I'm sure.

 

Confused :x

[jacked17]

I say it's up to her I mean it sounds like she knows you still feel and she's already tried the rebound thing and it didn't work. Is there a particular reason why you broke up? Was it a bad breakup? It seems kind of odd she still contacts you but who knows she could one of those girls who feels so guilty about what they've done they just want to keep you around. She seems to be throwing out some mixed signals there.

[dprelz]

It is confusing. She even says she is confused, but most of the time someone says that they are just lying, trying to let you down nicely.. that's what everyone on here always says:confused:

 

It wasn't a bad breakup, It was just weird. I didn't see it coming. It was one of those ones where the relationship got stale and she thought she didn't love me anymore. Went out with someone else and left him. Then kept writing poems and journals on how she missed me, etc, etc. BUT she could always come to my house or phone me or make an effort besides hiding behind technology..

 

That's why I just stick to NC, even though sometimes I feel like it's just pointless if she isn't getting the point. I mean it's been 5 months and we both obviously have not gotten over each other. Does that mean anything at all?

 

The worst part is that she was my first real long term relationship and I was ready to go the distance. But one of my problems is that I've never been with other people (not to this extent 3 years). So to see if she's the one I want/need to date other girls. But I'm not attracted to them because I still love her. Then Maybe when I do get over her and date another girl I won't want to come back.. which defeats the purpose of what I'm trying to do..

[respect_urself]

Look,

 

I went through the same thing, the exact same thing, only this was on myspace. She would quote me on her profile and her blog, write me messages and such, it was her only way of communicating since we didn't want to talk on the phone.

 

I don't know how this girl is, but mine did the exact same thing- she was sending me mixed signals. Once we even saw each other and she cried when I refused to hug her, then when I did she told me she thought about me every day and that she missed me and was giving me that smile I always loved.

 

To make a long story short, having any sort of contact with her in my life even if it was over the internet, FU*KED ME UP! and it seems like it is doing that to you. Let me tell you something, when you love someone you are not confused. You dont' seem confused about loving her, if she liked you for real, there would be no confusion, you guys would be togethter. I mean you said nothing went wrong when you broke up, you didn't cheat on her or do anything bad.....

 

I am sorry, I don't want you to get di*ked around by someone who is just keeping you around for their own fears of being alone. So analyze the situation. If you really want to know wether she was the one for you, I recomend you spend sometime with yourself, away from her. Stop being a masochist and leave that stupid website, erase your profile, your blogs or whatever, and make yourself not go on it and read it, ask your friends to not tell you about what she writes.

 

I mean if she wants to be with you, she needs to come correct and tell you that. She is writing that stuff because she knows YOU WILL READ IT! Trust me! So don't read it, and I guarantee you that she will miss you more, she may even contact you by phone.

 

So as hard as it is DELETE your profile or DELETE her as a friend and as stupid as it sounds it will make you feel liberated and much better. Believe me it worked for me.

 

OR

 

DECIDE that you want to give it a second chance and tell her. Stop fu*cking around with the internet and just call her, put yourself on the line and tell her how you feel, if she does not respond the way you want her to, then you have no other choice then to get over her, there are no doubts anymore.

 

Remember you love her but you got to love yourself more! It gets better the more time passes!

[fatcat]

you must look pretty good now, losing weight and all...keep up the misery

and you can prolly fnd some other babe....but if you dig on this chick,

get wasted on a Saturday night and call her. I first suggest you renting

"Glory Daze" (1996) Ben Affleck, and see how he called his ex.

If she has a negative vibe when you talk to her, hang up on her---then you'll

know where you stand.

[dprelz]

Thanks for the advice..I've tried both of those before. When I phoned her drunk at 3am she sat there and listened to me ramble on for an hour.. And when I tried confronting her and getting a second chance she just kept crying and seemed so confused or like something was stopping her. Finally I just left her house, and she let me walk out. But then she watched me from the door crying like she didn't want me to leave. The look on her face I will never forget;\ That basically sums it up.

 

I remember there was one guy on here who said his ex just didn't drop it and couldn't let go after 5 months.. They ended up getting back together and getting a second chance. Doesn't this sound like that situation or I am still pathetic for relying on the tiny bit of hope I have left? lol

 

I'm still not attracted to any other chicks yet, because I compare them to her.. ;\

[respect_urself]

Look, did you listen to anything I said. Don't be a moron and call her drunk. You are going to sound needy and pathetic, I am serious. If you want her back, you have to be collected and be in the right mind set if you want to speak to her.

 

Listen, my ex called me once fu*cked up. She was coming down from ecstacy and feeling like ****. I talked to her, she wanted to come over to my house becuase she felt bad and she needed someone to pick up the pieces. Even though I loved her I had to say no... It was annoying of her to call me fu*ked up after we were having no contact.

 

Look do yourself a favor, have some balls and decide whether this person is for you or not, and find the fu*k out if she wants you or not. Don't waste your time hoping for something. You can't live in the future or in the past, you got to live now. So just ask her, plain and fu*king simple! Don't beg, don't plead just ask and see how she feels, tell her you are worthy of a response. If she says no, then MOVE ON! As hard as this is, it will be worth it for you dignity and self respect.

 

You seem to be to stuck on her, take sometime away from her, don't read her blogs, put all the things that remind you of her in a box and try to forget about them. Stop laging and live your life, if she wants to be with you, she needs to come to that realization on her own. Plus if she sees that you have your life together she is more likely to want to come back with you then if you are pathetically calling her drunk at 3am.

[dprelz]

calm down buddy..

 

I said I did those things, but not recently. I havent talked to her on the phone for like 2 1/2 months. I'm doing no contact. I'm trying to get over her but she is a lot better then 99.9%% of the other chicks that are out there. So it's going to take me some time to find another girl. There's not much I can do except stick to NC and go on with my life, which is what I'm doing. But I still miss her, which is the point of the post..

dick