lilmoma1973 Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Why do some men have to be patted on the back for spending time with their kids ? Isn't that their obligation and responsibilties .. My friend and i was talking about this and feel why do some men need validation !!
slubberdegullion Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 why do some men need validation !! Probably because it's the only time they get any. Boss expects him to do his job and shaddap about it. Wife expects him to take the garbage out and fulfill all her emotional needs and shaddap about it. Kids expect him to provide for everything and shaddap about it.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Everybody needs to be validated at times, that's normal Maybe it's because having children isn't inbred in them so deep like it is with women. Women tend to be the caregivers more often and have a very deep attachment to their children because they gave birth to them. The men who feel they need to be thanked/validated for helping with the kids may look at it as a job, not as something that just has to be done. I don't know! I could be wrong!
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 That's not the answer i was looking for !! Wives go through the same thing as you explained Slubber..Stiill not what i am looking for .. Thanks for your reply:)
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 Everybody needs to be validated at times, that's normal Maybe it's because having children isn't inbred in them so deep like it is with women. Women tend to be the caregivers more often and have a very deep attachment to their children because they gave birth to them. The men who feel they need to be thanked/validated for helping with the kids may look at it as a job, not as something that just has to be done. I don't know! I could be wrong! You have made good point WWIU .. But still don't understand the validations with obligations and their responsibilities.. Guess that is why women say they are their kids!!
alphamale Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Why do some men have to be patted on the back for spending time with their kids ? because LILMOMA...men are not as attached to their kids as women are. we don't carry them for 9 mos in our tummies. in the animal kingdom some fathers eat their kids for supper and the moms have to protect their offspring from their daddies. many men are sort of indifferent towards their kids or take a more back-seat approach to them. they may think the kids are a hassle.
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 because LILMOMA...men are not as attached to their kids as women are. we don't carry them for 9 mos in our tummies. in the animal kingdom some fathers eat their kids for supper and the moms have to protect their offspring from their daddies. many men are sort of indifferent towards their kids or take a more back-seat approach to them. they may think the kids are a hassle. I couldn't agree more but hope my damn h don't think he is going to eat our daughter!!
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 You have made good point WWIU .. But still don't understand the validations with obligations and their responsibilities.. Guess that is why women say they are their kids!! I don't know. Sometimes it just feels good to hear the words "you're doing a good job or you're a good dad! Thanks for helping out." If he feels he needs to be validated, then do it...It will only make him feel good and want to do more. No harm in that. I wouldn't necessarily say men aren't as attached to their kids as women are, maybe women are more 'intune' with their children and know exactly what their needs are without having to ask. Women just know, it's instinct. And yes, that has to do with actually having them. I'm sure if men gave birth they'd have that 'connection' as well.
alphamale Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 I'm sure if men gave birth they'd have that 'connection' as well. I highly doubt it WWIU....you'd probably see much higher rates of child abandonments.
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 19, 2006 Author Posted January 19, 2006 I highly doubt it WWIU....you'd probably see much higher rates of child abandonments.es My h dad denied him from day one and still has no connection to this day.. My dad died when i was 10 but i knew he loved me and my family!! GUESS i wish my h was more like my dad..
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 I highly doubt it WWIU....you'd probably see much higher rates of child abandonments. Speak for yourself Alpha! I think if men gave birth and had to suffer through the pregnancy, experience it all - They definately WOULD stick around, especially after everything they'd been through! And don't forget, the men would have surging hormones, making them CRAZY! Yeah you just gave me a great thread idea!
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