scarlette Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Yesterday my boyfriend had a returned message that had failed in his email inbox from an old girlfriend. It had been forwarded to an email address that was the same as his with 2 extra digits on the end. I asked him if he had a "secret" email box that he was forwarding it to, and if he had typed the address in wrong. He told me that he had deleted the message without even reading it and has no idea what happened. Also the message from her started out "it was good to hear from you"...I asked me when he had writted to her and he told me it had been months ago. I'm bothered by this and just don't know what to think. Is he telling the truth or am I crazy? Scarlette
bluetuesday Posted January 19, 2006 Posted January 19, 2006 Yesterday my boyfriend had a returned message that had failed in his email inbox from an old girlfriend. It had been forwarded to an email address that was the same as his with 2 extra digits on the end. I asked him if he had a "secret" email box that he was forwarding it to, and if he had typed the address in wrong. He told me that he had deleted the message without even reading it and has no idea what happened. just to clarify - the failed message your boyf got was a mail from his ex he tried to forward to another account? if that's the case, i'd be curious why he claimed he had deleted the mail. if he's competent enough to run an email account he should know that deleted emails don't get bumped back because there's no-where for them to bump back from. they just disappear. Also the message from her started out "it was good to hear from you"...I asked me when he had writted to her and he told me it had been months ago. I'm bothered by this and just don't know what to think. Is he telling the truth or am I crazy? he may well be telling the truth that it was months ago. but is it the time scale that bothers you or the fact he's contacting her at all? now for his ex to start an email 'it was good to hear from you' would suggest that the content of his email to her was friendly. i don't think you have much call to be jealous about them being in touch. it may be that they are friends now, or trying to be. just because a relationship doesn't work out, it doesn't follow that we can't be friends with those exs we still like and trust. but him possibly trying to hide the email and possibly lying about it once he's been found out is a little more worrying. if there's a genuine reason for contact (and friendship IS a genuine reason) he should be up front with you. he is with you now, you should come first. on the other hand, why are you reading his emails? has he ever given you reason not to trust him in the past? if he thinks you are the jealous type, maybe he's hiding a perfectly innocent email because he feels he can't share the fact he is friends with his ex, knowing how you will take it. so no, you're not crazy. it could be something, but equally it could be nothing. a far better indication of this man is to tell him your fears and see how he reacts. in a positive way - a way that places you first and seeks to reassure you? or in a negative way - defensive, secretive and a way that probably leads to a row?
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