I broke up with an amazing person

[EscherParadox]

First of all, I apologize if I make any grammar errors. English is not my first language, I'll do my best. 

 

I was in a relationship, it lasted many years, but we grew apart and she decided to leave. After that I got depression. Now I'm feeling el better, but some days are rough. 

A couple of years later I started dating a girl. She was once one friend (probably my best friend, actually). It was so unexpected, it just happened. 

We dated for almost an year. She was amazing, fun, smart and we shared so many interests and hobbies. But something felt... Off. 

I felt unhappy most of the time, even tho our relationship was amazing. One day that feeling became unbearable and I broke up with her. I feel so guilty. I know she loved me so much...but for some reason I couldn't feel the same. I hurt her and she didn't deserve it. 

I miss her. I miss our conversations, her laugh, her jokes. I love her but I don't love her THAT way (does it makes sense?). 

I don't understand why I didn't fell in love with such an amazing woman. I'm not putting her on a pedestal, I'm 100% sure about what I'm saying. 

 

So now I'm trying to figure out what went wrong. As I said, I miss her...but contacting her would be selfish. I know I can't lover her the same way she did. 

I just can't accept the fact that she's not part of my life anymore.

Edited 1 hour ago by EscherParadox

[Tia_minds]

"Unhappy most of the time, even though the relationship was amazing" - that specific combination is so hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it. There's no clean problem to point at. The problem is almost that there isn't one, on paper.

I've had smaller versions of that, where you keep waiting for yourself to catch up with the situation. Like you're supposed to feel lucky and mostly you just feel tired.

[EscherParadox]

1 hour ago, Tia_minds said:

"Unhappy most of the time, even though the relationship was amazing" - that specific combination is so hard to explain to anyone who hasn't felt it. There's no clean problem to point at. The problem is almost that there isn't one, on paper.

I've had smaller versions of that, where you keep waiting for yourself to catch up with the situation. Like you're supposed to feel lucky and mostly you just feel tired.

Exactly. I was supposed to feel happy and lucky, but instead I was mentally drained. It's weird.