My boyfriend threw away my energy drink without even saying hello, and I left. Now am I the jerk?

[Lakri]

My boyfriend threw away my energy drink without even saying hello, and I left. Now am I the jerk?

Hi everyone. I need an outside perspective, because I can no longer tell who’s in the wrong.

I have a boyfriend — let's call him Dima. We've been together for over a year. He's at a military academy, so we see each other rarely. I wait for him for weeks, sometimes months.

Recently, he finally got a leave. I came to see him. I just wanted to hug him, see him, be near him.

He didn't even say hello. The first thing he did was notice the can of energy drink in my hand. He asked, "Would you be upset if I threw it away?" — then snatched it from me and tossed it in the trash. I was shocked. I told him I felt hurt. He started lecturing me about how bad energy drinks are for my health, about how I don't listen to him (since before this, he had said he was against smoking and energy drinks. Even before we got together, I used to smoke and drink energy drinks — after he spoke up, I cut back on the drinks and quit smoking). Then he asked: "What's more important to you — me or the energy drink?"

I told him his actions were disrespectful. That I'm not a child. That he shouldn't make decisions for me.

He said I don't appreciate his care.

I got upset and left.

He followed me. He said: "Come on, admit it — that was a good throw, right? Even you trying to catch the can didn't mess up its trajectory." He was proud of himself.

Later, he texted me that he needed to think, and then didn't call for two days.

My parents said he was right. That he's looking out for my health, and that I'm acting like a spoiled child.

I understand that energy drinks are bad for you. I know he's worried. I've already cut back on them. But I can't accept that a reunion I'd waited months for started with a thrown-away can instead of a hug. That he didn't even say hello. That his "care" feels like control. That day, I hadn't slept well and wanted to make the most of our time together — plus, I'd been waiting for him outside for an hour because I arrived a bit early, so I bought the energy drink.

Now I don't know if I'm right. Maybe I really am the jerk who doesn't appreciate someone caring for her? Or did he cross a line?