The other, other woman

[Anonymous]

I have spent a year with my married man. We work together. It is not my proudest moment to begin with, but I fell so hard for him. Our chemistry is amazing.

He has always told me he cannot give me 100% and he will never leave his wife for me. His wife is not aware of his affair. 

Things were going so well up until 6 months ago, when he started flirting subtly with our coworker. He denies any attraction to her, tells me he doesn’t see her as anything more than just a colleague. But things keep adding up and his actions are speaking louder than his words are. She’s leaving in a couple of months to a new country, and you’d think this would be a good thing, but I am almost certain he will try to contact her when she goes and they will end up with a relationship out of work. They aren’t in contact outside of work currently, but I only think that’s because she is trying to remain professional. She’s 10 years older than me and closer to his age. I can’t say for sure if she’s into him, but I think she is. She’s so friendly with him at work, and I can tell he loves the attention she gives him. I have caught him checking her out, signing off emails with “Xx”, she comes to him for advice and they are have a close work relationship.

We are constantly arguing about her, I thought I was the only woman for him aside from his wife. He made me feel special. As much as he denies it I just cannot trust him. He clearly has eyes for her. I am constantly comparing myself to her, is she better than me?? I don’t think I am, i’d like to say i’m an attractive girl. But he clearly has his desires.

If he can do it to his wife, why would I be any different? I have asked him this, but he never acknowledges it.

Above all this, he says he expects me to be loyal to just him, yet he’s the one with a wife, also showing an interest in this other girl. I only want him, but why should I put up with this any longer?

I need to protect myself from the inevitable hurt. I’ve cut him off and told him to give me space. It hurts, especially seeing him at work every day, but I don’t think I have any other option, I need to get over him. I cannot do this anymore.

[BaileyB]

On 4/6/2026 at 9:33 AM, Anonymous said:

His actions are speaking louder than his words

Indeed. The simple fact that he is cheating on his chosen life partner with you, perhaps the mother of his children, speaks volumes about the man.
 

On 4/6/2026 at 9:33 AM, Anonymous said:

He says he expects me to be loyal to just him, yet he’s the one with a wife

And signing emails to another female coworker “xx” - 

The double standard in affairs is unfair, don’t you think? 

Just imagine how his wife feels? 

 

On 4/6/2026 at 9:33 AM, Anonymous said:

He has always told me he cannot give me 100% and he will never leave his wife for me

When men speak their truth and show us who they really are, we must believe them. 

Edited 2 hours ago by BaileyB