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I lose interest in verbally affectionate women but get attached to distant ones


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Posted

I’m 28M.

I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern in myself where I’m mostly attracted to women who are more aloof or emotionally reserved. Any subtle signs or small compliments mean a lot to me. Less is often more with me.

On the flip side, when someone is verbally affectionate, I get uncomfortable or turned off by it. Which is ironic cause I am an expressive person. Even if the person means well, it can feel like it’s lovebombing or overwhelming. Maybe even disingenuous. It can feel like a pressure that’s hard to live up to whenever the person is verbally affectionate.

For example, I can send a long supportive message to someone; and I get a heavy affectionate response, I’ll feel uncomfortable.

However, if the response is something as simple and neutral as “thank you. I appreciate you,” it’ll make me so happy.

I’m trying to understand why I fall harder for people who are more aloof/not verbally expressive. Is this normal? Is this healthy? And has anyone dealt with something like this before?

Posted

Being more attracted to people who don't make themselves completely available to us or force us to chase them is extremely normal. It's one of the main reasons some women are often attracted to guys who don't treat them very well or take advantage of them. 

As a guy though if you enjoy having a steady sex life you will be much more likely to get that from women who are throwing themselves at you so to speak then women who are acting neutral towards you.

It's your choice.

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