3 strikes and you're out (or not?)

[bitter and sad]

I could write a book on the following situation, but I'll try to tell this story as concisely as possible.  Some info is slightly off to protect the innocent.  Pls bare with me.

I'm a MM who had an EA with a younger woman many years ago (decades).  The EA lasted roughly 5-6 months and ended pretty dramatically.  My W suspected and I admitted to it.  That began 4-5 mos of close-to NC w my AP, during which I decided to end my M to be with her (I did not tell AP).  Just before I was going to announce this to my W, my AP completely eviscerated me with a final goodbye message where she denied anything previous had been real.  I was absolutely devastated, and was probably clinically depressed for a couple years.  About 4 years later, ex-AP contacts me out of the blue.  She's now married, no kids, and has moved to another city far away.  She apologizes for how she ended things years ago and within a few messages and a couple tel calls, in a couple days, we are in full EA again, albeit from a distance.  This builds for a few months - during which we meet a couple times (in public places) and even begin talking permanence - but ends abruptly when she accidentally becomes pregnant (yes, by her H).  This time, she is devastated.  But, bottom line, that's that, right?  But wait... 5 years later, she contacts me again, out of the blue.  That begins the A of all As.  Daily if not hourly contact (calls, texts, emails), to include rendezvous at our hometown where it all began, airports, hotels, and several days together at a resort.  I even flew to her city once, saw her house, and she asked me if I could see myself living there with her and her 2 young children.  This time we both openly discussed and planned how/when we'd leave our respective spouses, and where/how we'd start our life together.  Everything that could be said and promised was said and promised.  Then about a month before "D-day," she backed out and ended us.  That was about a month after she had what I can only surmise was a complete nervous breakdown while out [and drinking heavily], during which we had an incredibly heavy, emotional, and earnest discussion about finally being together.  A day or two after that call, she told me she had a serious medical event that night - I believe requiring an ER visit (and of course her H) - but she didn't offer any more information.  A month later, where there was much more limited contact, the final phone call.

Why do I write now?  First, if anyone wants to discuss here, or DM, I have an awful lot to share and say regarding As, breaking up, getting back together, being the OW or OM, May-December romances - I'd say I've been through it all.  Secondly, I just found out, she's moved to my area.  I'll say, for no good reason, meaning, that I'm aware of.  This is the first time we've lived in the same town since the initial EA.  She's now an empty-nester.  Her H had a big job where they last lived.  Neither of her kids goes to school nearby.  She has no connection to this city other than I live here.  And, it appears she's using her maiden name again (??).  I might guess she's gotten divorced, although she and her H are both listed as the buyers of her/their new place.  I have no contact information (without unacceptable risk).  I think she's been here for roughly 7-8 months.  She once told me:  "as long as the two of us are walking the face of this earth, we may be together."  One last ask of y'all before offering your thoughts.  Pls watch Ben Platt sing "Bad Habit" on Colbert in Feb 2019.  My AP posted her thoughts to that YouTube video at the time.

[ExpatInItaly]

What advice are you seeking - whether or not to contact her?