Two topics in one: Menopause and sexless marriages

[navigairsea]

Two topics in one: When you guys describe an issue, the age is important.  TOPIC (2):  For many women, I believe most, Post-Menopause is a no sex zone.  My limited experience indicates this happens approximately from 45 to 60, with many occurring in their 50s.  

My MAIN question is if both husband and wife know there's not going to be anymore sex, even though it's usually not a topic that's willing to be discussed, even though it's the Wife's lack of desire, not the husband's lack of desire, what exactly do Wives' expect Husband's to do to truly satisfy that dopamine release?

[Lotsgoingon]

First of all, kill that word "dopamine." Sex with a married partner should be far more than dopamine. It can also be play and intimacy and exploring. If sex is just dopamine, then go ahead and self-pleasure. You don't need a spouse. 

Now to your larger question, this is one issue that our society and couples are struggling to sort out. Esther Perel the therapist and podcaster has a lot to say about this issue. She talks about the issue (loss of desire by women) under the umbrella of women's sexuality, not just under the headline of menopause.

 

[Imogen_77]

On 3/27/2026 at 3:56 AM, navigairsea said:

what exactly do Wives' expect Husband's to do to truly satisfy that dopamine release?

In a perfect world that probably depends on what husband and wife agree on. But I do understand that in reality that’s not always the case or even possible. Many men who feel like they’re not “getting any” at home will resort to affairs or even sex workers (if that’s legal in your area). 
The dead bedroom is a well known issue in many marriages, and it’s not even limited to “older” couples in their 50s or women in menopause; a lot of times it’s simply about getting bored of having sex with the same person, and it also happens a lot after childbirth. So you’re not alone.
Have you discussed it?