Question about a friendship with 2 girls as a former fat kid

[Anonymous]

So, i've been friends with two girls for nearly 4 years now, and im one of those who overthink everything and im having a pretty bad time as of lately so my minds just been going crazy about this for some reason.

some quick information about me for clarification. I used to be pretty dang overweight and honestly just not a good looking guy, which is when this started in 7th grade. very alone most of the time, don't like making friends because it never tends to go well because of how i am as a person. so i nearly always was alone in school between classes and such. had no kind of self esteem (still don't) i suck at talking to people, as im not only depressed and anxious due to growing up with instable parents and having to grow up insanely quickly and do most things myself like food, even laundry, and such after the age of 5 when my parents divorced and split apart. Emotions is a massive hassle to me too, i have trouble understanding many things when people talk, and according to a therapist i was at they said i likely was a part of the autism spectrum. body language, and all that i don't really understand whatsoever, until someone like specifically tells me they are mad, or whatever if you understand. im kinda just very awkward because of my lack of social interaction with people to be honest.

so back to my confusion,
in 7th grade (soon 5 years ago) ill call them M and E for short, started trying to talk to me randomly inbetween classes when i was sitting alone waiting for class to start (was mostly just M who talked though and E just joined in as they were friends). I instinctively thought they were just wanting to mess with me, as they are both above average good looking girls and my awkwardness, and all other shitf***ery i have just told me they wanted to make fun of me like everyone usually do, so i just ignored them for a good year basically. but in late 7th / early 8th grade they kept trying to talk to me, but changed their approach and seemed more sincere i guess so i took my headphones off for once and listened. and we ended up kinda becoming friends pretty quick after they kept talking to me inbetween classes.  

so from 8th grade and all the way through 9th grade we three, nearly always worked together and were allowed to go to a smaller group room most classes to work alone. and we talked about everything, usually hung out between classes and since me and M, nearly always skipped PE, we would sit on the side watching the rest of the class and just chat.

i just can't understand why these girls became friends with me, a fat wierd quiet kid.

not sure if it was just a random thing but M, which i'd say im better friends with than E, didn't know what gymnasium(highschool in europe) she was gonna pick after 9th grade, so she asked me where i was going to go, and chose the same school as me, and managed to get into the same class as me for the first year.

now, after losing over 34 kg of weight, i feel much better about myself still wouldnt say im a good looking person, still got another 10 kg before i don't get ashamed of looking at myself shirtless, im very insecure and stuff, but im 18 now, and just thinking, i understand most of everything, but this specifically has always kinda haunted me because i don't understand their motive.

way back in 7/8th grade. were they friends with me because they could vent to me? we talked a lot, but they also listened to me, so all of us were engaged in the conversations it wasnt just onesided.

im massively grateful for M, because she was one of my only friends through middleschool and we are still friends, and her being pretty extroverted, atleast in school when she wasn't alone, i made some friends because she introduced us both to a group of other kids first day of gymnasium. and i'd probably be still walking around alone if we never talked back in middleschool. but im just confused as to what could have made her want to be my friend / talk to me.

 

I know this is a pretty wierd thing to post most likely, but this is just something ive always been confused about, and i just felt i wanted to get it off of my chest.

 

tell me im stupid all you want but its just really never clicked in my head as to why she would even talk to me at all in the first place.

 

 

[basil67]

When I was in year 7 my friends and I tried to befriend a quiet girl because a teacher noticed that she was all alone and asked us to try.  I think the teacher recognised us as being good kids.  Unfortunately we couldn't get her to have a conversation so after a week or so, we moved on.  Perhaps this is what happened to you, except you were able to talk and became friends with them.

The only way to truly know is to ask M

[Lotsgoingon]

Ask them. You won't believe us when we say, friendships occur in all kinds of combinations. So you're saying that all that matters is your weight. Nothing else matters, you're saying? Not your brains, not your listening skill, not your humor, not your warmth or friendliness? The only thing that matters is your weight?! You really believe that? 

BTW: a close friend of mine is hugely overweight and has women falling in love with him all the time. He's funny, he's open minded, he's a good listener. He loves good conversation. 

Talk to them. Ask them this question. 

 

 

[Sanch62]

Throughout my school years and the rest of my life, it never occurred to me that I needed a concrete motive to speak with someone. Sometimes it's just a random impulse to make a joke or a flippant comment, or I'm just in a good mood to greet a person who happened to be sitting there.

Repeated exposure can turn such shared moments into something one or both people start looking forward to, and this can organically evolve into a friendship. It's how most school friendships start, and most people can't even remember the first time they met a given friend, much less 'why' they began a conversation.