Does he actually have feelings for me?

[FredEire]

3 hours ago, LoveQ said:

Someone who is secure and has more options is going on dates, waiting and deciding, taking their time with the decision. Someone who doesn't is insecure, jealous and wants to lock the other person in as quickly as possible and thinks that the behaviour they are exhibiting is normal and they should be the only person the other side is seeing. They almost feel entitled to being the only person the other side is dating.

Essentially, thinking that after 1 date, they are exclusive. For secure people with options, that's just not even on their mind. They don't focus on that. They focus on making the right decision.

Imagine walking into the store to buy pasta, and buying the first pack you see without even checking the price, the quality, or the size. That's how dating is for anxious attachment styles. They choose anyone, just so they are not alone.

So yes, if he is dating another girl (which he has every right to do so after only 3 dates), he will definitely choose somebody else, maybe even soon. If he is not dating anybody else, he might go with her, but I'm 100% sure this will not last, as she is very insecure, and he doesn't seem to be, judging by everything she wrote. Likely, he will just get bored with the constant neediness.

Right, it can happen that someone just strikes you like lightning, they make you feel like youve never met anyone with a connection like that etc etc.

But you have to take a reality pill that after 1, 2, 3 or even 10 dates you dont really know them yet. It generally takes at least a couple of months of regular exposure to someone to start getting an idea if you are really compatible and could work as an item.

Early dating is about screening while enjoying their company and finding out what they are all about. Anyone already jumping to the end and assuming marriage, a dog a house in the country and 2.5 kids is setting themselves up for a pretty hard fall if the feeling is not mutual.

Even if it is, this forum is littered with posts about "we went crazy for eachother, spent every day together and suddenly they pulled away, why?". Rushing anything means that when reality hits, someone is generally going to pull back because it's too much, too soon.

Edited 5 hours ago by FredEire