Does he actually have feelings for me?

[GoodVibess]

I am 25 and he is 22 we matched on and off for a year on FB dating. We rematched a couple weeks ago and he messaged me and he told me to have my Sunday freed and I did. I didn’t have any plans on Sunday to begin with so we ended up meeting we had dinner. It was nice seeing him. I actually found him more attractive in person than online for the end of the day. He told me that he had a really good time and that we should have a second date and the second date happened two days ago and it was great as well. We had our first kiss and then yesterday we went on our 3rd date because I was in the area. overall, he’s really nice to talk to. He has paid for all those 3 dates and has opened the car door for me every time and has been respectful. I am starting to catch feelings. He told me he likes me a lot but he is not in love with me yet. I am a little concerned because those three times that we have met. It’s been great but he doesn’t text me much which feels like he’s not as interested as I think he is. He did tell me that he’s not a good Texter and he prefers in person interactions. But I need consistency and he isn’t showing that on text. He texts me like twice a day and it’s throwing me off. I also have doubts cuz he is only 22 and I feel a lot of guys that age don’t have good intentions. 

[Gebidozo]

3 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He has paid for all those 3 dates

Why?

You didn’t even offer to pay or share?

 

4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He told me he likes me a lot but he is not in love with me yet.

Well, of course. It would have been a red flag if he told you he was in love with you after only three dates.

 

6 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

He texts me like twice a day and it’s throwing me off.

As in… you think that this is not enough?

Seriously?

If someone I’ve been on three dates with told me she is concerned because I “only” text her twice per day I’d feel pressured and would probably distance myself.

 

8 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

he is only 22 and I feel a lot of guys that age don’t have good intentions. 

What are “good intentions”?

If you mean he might have the intention to string you along, lie to you, manipulate you, and so on, then this doesn’t really have much to do with age, sadly people of all ages and genders do that.

If you mean that he doesn’t intend to have a serious relationship with you, then it’s not really “good” versus “bad”, it’s just that both of you have to be very clear and honest about what you expect from this.

[Sony12]

Yes he is only 22. But at the same time you are only 25. Both of you are young and need to just take time getting to know one another. No one can really tell you how interested or not interested he is in you at this point. You two are just going to have to continue going on dates and see where it goes. If it goes somewhere great. If it doesn't you gave it a shot. 

[ShyViolet]

It's only been 3 dates.  That's nothing.  It's too early to jump to conclusions or start worrying about what his intentions are.  He doesn't even know yet.  You barely know each other.  At this stage it's just about getting to know each other.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

He told me he likes me a lot but he is not in love with me yet

You realize it would be insane if he were "in love" after 3 dates, right? 

2 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

He texts me like twice a day and it’s throwing me off

Perhaps you are on your phone too much. Twice a day is quite normal in the early stages in particular. Given your past threads,  I would suggest you really step back and adjust your expectations when it comes to men and dating. You have had many...chaotic experiences. Don't turn this into one, too. 

[Gebidozo]

26 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

You have had many...chaotic experiences.

Just checked the OP’s previous threads and… yes.

Also, the OP said this about a year ago:

I’m 24 this year and I’m desperately looking for a husband. I am currently seeing a 19 year old but I’m not sure if he even wants a relationship. At this point I am ready to marry anyone who comes my way. I want a relationship and i’m getting old. I want a family. I’m broken because every other relationship failed, Im tired of being single. I fear I will be 30 and still on dating apps. 
 

OP, I hope you realize that this kind of thinking is going to repel any normal man.

Nobody wants to feel pressured like that, especially into being with someone who’d literally “marry anyone who comes her way”. 

[Sony12]

Yeah if the OP is truly that concerned about getting married and feeling like they are getting older then dating college age guys really isn't the best move as more times then not they aren't going to give her what she is looking for. Kind of like those ladies who always complain about guys being jerks but they constantly date the same type of guy over and over again and it ends up being that the problem really isn't the guy. It's the person choosing to date those types of guys.

[FredEire]

You can't be in love with someone after 3 dates. You can become infatuated or a bit obsessed, but thats a very different thing.

[GoodVibess]

12 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

You realize it would be insane if he were "in love" after 3 dates, right? 

Perhaps you are on your phone too much. Twice a day is quite normal in the early stages in particular. Given your past threads,  I would suggest you really step back and adjust your expectations when it comes to men and dating. You have had many...chaotic experiences. Don't turn this into one, too. 

I am on my phone every second due to work purposes. And when he is with me he texts people immediately so is he doing this on purpose? 

[GoodVibess]

14 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

Why?

You didn’t even offer to pay or share?

 

Well, of course. It would have been a red flag if he told you he was in love with you after only three dates.

 

As in… you think that this is not enough?

Seriously?

If someone I’ve been on three dates with told me she is concerned because I “only” text her twice per day I’d feel pressured and would probably distance myself.

 

What are “good intentions”?

If you mean he might have the intention to string you along, lie to you, manipulate you, and so on, then this doesn’t really have much to do with age, sadly people of all ages and genders do that.

If you mean that he doesn’t intend to have a serious relationship with you, then it’s not really “good” versus “bad”, it’s just that both of you have to be very clear and honest about what you expect from this.

He makes way more than me, has a better car than me. He lives with his parents and they live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the whole state. I couldn’t afford to drop 30 bucks on an entree for him if I wanted to. He knows my financial situation and he understands. However, I see myself marrying him and the fact he is not texting me more than twice a day is making me go crazy. And making me think there’s another woman he’s focusing on??

[GoodVibess]

3 hours ago, Sony12 said:

That's the problem many young people have. They confuse attraction with love. Which is why a lot of people go for the same type of individual over and over again. It usually takes a certain amount of maturity to figure out the difference between the two and then it takes a little while longer after that to become ok with it merely being an attraction and not try to force a relationship onto it.

My friend and her boyfriend became serious after 2 dates they are deeply in love with each other. I really like him and I want to marry him. I am ready to become a wife and have kids. 

[Els]

15 minutes ago, GoodVibess said:

My friend and her boyfriend became serious after 2 dates they are deeply in love with each other. I really like him and I want to marry him. I am ready to become a wife and have kids. 

Really, you know that you want to marry him and have kids with him after THREE dates?

If you don't slow down you'll find yourself divorced and a single mother at 27.

[FredEire]

4 hours ago, Sony12 said:

That's the problem many young people have. They confuse attraction with love. Which is why a lot of people go for the same type of individual over and over again. It usually takes a certain amount of maturity to figure out the difference between the two and then it takes a little while longer after that to become ok with it merely being an attraction and not try to force a relationship onto it.

Indeed. I'd partly blame popular culture for teaching the young that its always "love at first sight". "Getting out of the friend zone" with someone who has no romantic interest in you is another one.

[flitzanu]

1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

He makes way more than me, has a better car than me. He lives with his parents and they live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the whole state. I couldn’t afford to drop 30 bucks on an entree for him if I wanted to. He knows my financial situation and he understands. However, I see myself marrying him and the fact he is not texting me more than twice a day is making me go crazy. And making me think there’s another woman he’s focusing on??

if you want your answer on how he feels about you, then let him know that after three dates you want to marry him and have his children.  he'll give you his answer.

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to get your mental health sorted before you will be ready for marriage and children. 

[ShyViolet]

4 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

I really like him and I want to marry him. I am ready to become a wife and have kids. 

You can't possibly know someone well enough after 3 dates to be saying you want to marry them.  As a 25 year old adult, you should know this.  You sound like you have some significant mental health issues.  As soon as he sees signs of it, he is going to run for the hills.  You need to worry less about rushing into marriage and more about working on yourself mentally and emotionally.

[Gebidozo]

9 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

He knows my financial situation and he understands. However, I see myself marrying him

You see yourself marrying him after three dates?

Do you realize how utterly insane this is?

 

9 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

the fact he is not texting me more than twice a day is making me go crazy. And making me think there’s another woman he’s focusing on??

I’m sorry, but you sound completely unhinged and out of touch with reality.

Your readiness to get together and get married with the first person who’d be up for it is a huge turn-off and a major red flag.

I think your issues go way beyond the dates with this man. Please consider seeing a therapist.

 

[Sony12]

Hey it works though in Crusader Kings 3 when you want to get yourself a powerful ally.

[Sanch62]

On 3/9/2026 at 10:16 PM, GoodVibess said:

He texts me like twice a day and it’s throwing me off.

Consider that texting more than twice a day may be a sign that someone needs something more productive to do.

[Els]

13 hours ago, Sony12 said:

Hey it works though in Crusader Kings 3 when you want to get yourself a powerful ally.

I spat out my drink!! 

[stillafool]

On 3/10/2026 at 1:02 PM, GoodVibess said:

He makes way more than me, has a better car than me. He lives with his parents and they live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the whole state. I couldn’t afford to drop 30 bucks on an entree for him if I wanted to. He knows my financial situation and he understands. However, I see myself marrying him and the fact he is not texting me more than twice a day is making me go crazy. And making me think there’s another woman he’s focusing on??

After only 3 dates you see yourself marrying him?  Are you in love with him?

[basil67]

I guarantee you that at just 22yo, he is not even thinking of marriage with you or anyone else.  

[LoveQ]

On 3/10/2026 at 3:16 AM, GoodVibess said:

I am 25 and he is 22 we matched on and off for a year on FB dating. We rematched a couple weeks ago and he messaged me and he told me to have my Sunday freed and I did. I didn’t have any plans on Sunday to begin with so we ended up meeting we had dinner. It was nice seeing him. I actually found him more attractive in person than online for the end of the day. He told me that he had a really good time and that we should have a second date and the second date happened two days ago and it was great as well. We had our first kiss and then yesterday we went on our 3rd date because I was in the area. overall, he’s really nice to talk to. He has paid for all those 3 dates and has opened the car door for me every time and has been respectful. I am starting to catch feelings. He told me he likes me a lot but he is not in love with me yet. I am a little concerned because those three times that we have met. It’s been great but he doesn’t text me much which feels like he’s not as interested as I think he is. He did tell me that he’s not a good Texter and he prefers in person interactions. But I need consistency and he isn’t showing that on text. He texts me like twice a day and it’s throwing me off. I also have doubts cuz he is only 22 and I feel a lot of guys that age don’t have good intentions. 

You shouldn't even be concerned about the texting part; he is actually doing you a favour there.

Him not texting you is NOT an indication that he doesn't like you. I don't constantly spam text girls I go on dates with as well. Why are texts important to you? Seems to me you just want to keep him on a short leash and know what he's doing all the time. How is he in real life? That's the most important thing, and you said it's going really well. He seems decisive, and he seems to be leading, which is a good sign. Why waste the conversation on texts when you can be meeting and talking in real life?

It's more of a red flag to me that you're "a little concerned" that he hasn't told you he's in love with you yet. It's been 3 dates.

Judging by all this, and after reading your other replies about you marrying him and thinking he has another woman going on because he's not texting you, I'd say he is actually the more mature one, and you may have an anxious attachment style, which will make it difficult for you, as anything he does will make you more insecure.

If he were the one posting here about you, I'd immediately tell him to move on.

My best advice for you is to work on your insecurities and then try dating.

[FredEire]

6 minutes ago, LoveQ said:

You shouldn't even be concerned about the texting part; he is actually doing you a favour there.

Him not texting you is NOT an indication that he doesn't like you. I don't constantly spam text girls I go on dates with as well. Why are texts important to you? Seems to me you just want to keep him on a short leash and know what he's doing all the time. How is he in real life? That's the most important thing, and you said it's going really well. He seems decisive, and he seems to be leading, which is a good sign. Why waste the conversation on texts when you can be meeting and talking in real life?

It's more of a red flag to me that you're "a little concerned" that he hasn't told you he's in love with you yet. It's been 3 dates.

Judging by all this, and after reading your other replies about you marrying him and thinking he has another woman going on because he's not texting you, I'd say he is actually the more mature one, and you may have an anxious attachment style, which will make it difficult for you, as anything he does will make you more insecure.

If he were the one posting here about you, I'd immediately tell him to move on.

My best advice for you is to work on your insecurities and then try dating.

Right. Also if he is dating another girl, what of it? Youve been on 3 dates. You are both entitled to be seeing other people.

Getting upset that he hasn't quickly fallen in love with you sounds a bit entitled on your part. And he is more likely to be drawn to a girl who is comfortable seeing where things go and exploring if you are a good match, than someone who is trying to pressure him to be "the one" so early on.

[LoveQ]

3 minutes ago, FredEire said:

Right. Also if he is dating another girl, what of it? Youve been on 3 dates. You are both entitled to be seeing other people.

Getting upset that he hasn't quickly fallen in love with you sounds a bit entitled on your part. And he is more likely to be drawn to a girl who is comfortable seeing where things go and exploring if you are a good match, than someone who is trying to pressure him to be "the one" so early on.

Someone who is secure and has more options is going on dates, waiting and deciding, taking their time with the decision. Someone who doesn't is insecure, jealous and wants to lock the other person in as quickly as possible and thinks that the behaviour they are exhibiting is normal and they should be the only person the other side is seeing. They almost feel entitled to being the only person the other side is dating.

Essentially, thinking that after 1 date, they are exclusive. For secure people with options, that's just not even on their mind. They don't focus on that. They focus on making the right decision.

Imagine walking into the store to buy pasta, and buying the first pack you see without even checking the price, the quality, or the size. That's how dating is for anxious attachment styles. They choose anyone, just so they are not alone.

So yes, if he is dating another girl (which he has every right to do so after only 3 dates), he will definitely choose somebody else, maybe even soon. If he is not dating anybody else, he might go with her, but I'm 100% sure this will not last, as she is very insecure, and he doesn't seem to be, judging by everything she wrote. Likely, he will just get bored with the constant neediness.