You were right and I started no contact

[Sadalone]

Hi all,

I posted here in September about a man I dated for months who liked me but didn’t want a relationship as he wasn’t 100% sure he wants one. He wanted to stay friends. I was so sad about this and unsure what to do.

So, I tried this “friendship”. He came over a few Saturday evenings. Stayed until late in the night. The third Saturday he kissed me and we had sex. I feel so stupid. Because he later said it was the alcohol that lowered his boundaries.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you were right. I went no contact two weeks ago. This dynamic totally ruined my self esteem. I need to feel what I want and need. Any of you also started no contact recently and want to keep each other strong?

[Sanch62]

23 hours ago, Sadalone said:

This dynamic totally ruined my self esteem.

The good news is, the term 'self-esteem' is a decision we each get to make about ourSelves. It's not BF-esteem, or date-esteem, or lover-esteem. So nobody else is in charge of giving this to us.

We all learn by living, and nobody gets it right all the time. I'd use your decision to say there's no time like the present, and you can now confidently say you'll never view yourself as being at the mercy of anyone else's lousy decisions.

This guy can keep that, and you're onto better days ahead. CongrAts!

[Sadalone]

Thank you for your sweet words, Sanch. It is actually a bit interesting that it doesn’t take me a lot of effort to stay away and keep no contact this time. In the past I couldn’t. Now I feel good and quite happy, relieved. Guess I wasn’t ready to walk away earlier, but I’m very sorry to myself it took so long until I was able to actually walk away