unable_to_sleep Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Hello I'm new to this....I'll explain, I've been married 12 years and I had an affair (my first & only)with his "hunting buddy" it lasted just over 1.5 years,oh yeah I was very good friends with his wife.Anyhow we never got caught,but we almost did by my husband.My husband wanted us to try and work out our problems(he and I were seperated for three months just befor the affair ended)My husband confronted his "Buddy" caused a big mess so my MM and I decided to cool it for a while.I moved out of state with my H.Well it's been 5 months now I've talked to MM only once (he called me)he said he wanted to come visit,but I haven't heard from him since,I really miss him,I still love him,I think of him often , and boy I could go on about the dreams.So now to my questions....Do any of you think he still thinks of me or do you think it was just "FUN" for him?My marriage is just about done. Do you think once I've finished the divorce I should contact him?I just need advice I don't know what to do...Any advice would be great!
sassiex Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 hi:lmao: if you love him, i mean really love him then go for it what have you got to loose, and if your marriage is over then thats even mor e reason to go for it!! life is too short make the most of it why you are here!!!
Sami_D Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 My marriage is just about done. Do you think once I've finished the divorce I should contact him?I just need advice I don't know what to do...Any advice would be great! If you do contact him and he's still married... then you'd be getting yourself into an Affair situation with a MM... Not good. Do you know if he has any intention of ending his M?
silktricks Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 If it was me - after my divorce was final, if I was still thinking of him often, I'd contact him to let him know. I'd also make it clear that there would be no relationship unless he was free, but that I wouldn't be hangin' around and waitin' and then NC. Then the ball is in his court. He could leave his W or not - and if he did, maybe before I met someone new and fell in love all over again.
Walking away Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 If you do contact him and he's still married... then you'd be getting yourself into an Affair situation with a MM... Not good. Do you know if he has any intention of ending his M? You DO NOT want to get into a situation with you being single and him married. It is heartache from the get go. If he wants to be with you, let him find you when he is free. Any other way is misery for you.
Allegrokw Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I completely agree with you Walking Away. I got divorced shortly after I started A with MM. It has been 3 LONG years of hell and now finally NC. It is one of the most painful emotional experiences I have ever been through. I am still going through all of the confusion, depressions, etc, that gois along with an A. Can barely even speak about it, but at least have here to come to. unable-to-speak, please trust what you are reading. Once you become single - even if it is not with hopes that MM will, you will be miserable hoping, waiting, being lied to. I feel for you so much.
Walking away Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 3 years? I can't even imagine how you must feel. My A has only been for six months and I feel like my heart is being ripped out sometimes. I agree with you...coming here has been a Godsend for me. I derive much strength from reading what all of you have to say. Our stories are all very similiar. Unable to speak, listen to all of us...the misery of hoping and waiting is incalculable...Run for your life!
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