I don’t know how to connect with people anymore.

[AJW1]

Hi all, I have been in a relationship for 20 years. My partner and I have three children. She was recently seen kissing some stranger on the street by my eldest son. We’ve often had issues with her drinking, and when she starts, she doesn’t really know how to stop and she’s put herself in many many vulnerable situations with other men. Because of the consistency, I can only assume it’s on purpose. It looks like the marriage is truly over and I’m having a really hard time coping. Because I was so invested in my family, I had closed myself off from the rest of the world, and now I don’t know how to connect with people. I feel so alone, and my first instinct is to try and find someone who really could be my person. I just want to commit to someone, I just want to love someone and be loved by someone. I’m not ready for dating apps, i’m not emotionally ready for anything. I’m in such a bad place, I’m trying to mask coping for my children.